It's 9 p.m. I'm still at the office, figuring out what I should do. Going back early means staring at the idiot box. I crossed that out of my list of things to do tonite. Was supposed to go and register for taekwondo lesson. Dill didn't bring any t-shirts. Neither do I.
Suddenly the prospect looks daunting. There's a lot of things to accomplish, yeah, I know. I helped draft the activity calendar for 2005. A couple of things are due this month. Additional projects popped up. Existing projects dragging. I'm at my wits' end. I don't have the power to say two simple words that makes up a phrase Mr. Trump loves to utter -- 'You're fired.'
I don't want to place blame 100% on my project team as we are all short-handed and there are heaps to do right now. What with the terminal renovation going on, and celebration pre-planning to vibe the place -- things are rather hectic. But heck, the thought of having to answer to the Director is terrifying me. I have no answer right now in case he should ask. I'm simply too occupied to find out.
I think I should re-strategize to get things up and about. I need to focus on multi-tasking my jobs. Yup, sounds easy, but it's not. God, I just hope that my spirit will burn thruout this trying period. I simply don't want to give up and say -- 'I'm a failure.'
I mean, hardship is nothing new to me. Especially during my final year. Struggling with a difficult thesis, extra credits, critical financial situation, and emotional friendship, my spirit was stretched thin that I found it exhausting just to hang on to every day life.
But I didn't give up. I spent less time sleeping, and more time writing chapters after chapters of thesis. I took up a part-time job to earn extra cash, and in between classes, I forced myself to study. I remembered revising for Law subjects while serving customers; coming back from work at 11.30 at nite; then washing my dirty uniform to use the next day, and sleeping on my text book at my desk. Then waking up to labor on my thesis so I can pass up the weekly report to my supervisor the next day.
It was a hellish time and I'm glad it's over. Yet it proves to what extent I can last (and I lost kilos thruout the ordeal).
Yup. This is it. Time to roll up my sleeves and get dirty. I've simply enough with moaning about my job (ok, ok.. If I don't there's nothing much to write in this blog!) . This time I will grumble, but work hard to yield a visible output :p
Let's see how long I will last this time.