Letter Day 16

Dear Khayla & Khadeeja,

Words can't describe how glad I am to chat with you just now. I am so relieved Khadeeja, that you managed to fall asleep so easily and without a fuss. One minute we were saying hi to each other and the next minute you were already off to dreamland! Nighty-night baby. Mak love you sayang.

Khayla,

More than anything I miss you sweetie. Your cheerful chatter, your laughter. Half of the joy in this house is gone when you are not here. I was so excited when you greeted me so cheerfully just now, exclaiming, 'Mak, where are you?' It sounds like you are also bitten by missing  bugs, like me!

God, I miss you both! I can't wait darling, to meet you two next week. I love you both so very much, nothing in this world means to me more than you two. Sleep tight and dream of me, my babies.

P/s: sorry I miss your letter yesterday. I was too tired from working so hard on my thesis framework :( but you are always in my mind and heart.

Letter Day 14

My sweet angels,

It's been a busy day as I try to sort out my thesis writing so that it makes more sense. The truth is darlings, I am working at slow speed and I feel really frustrated about it. 

My problems aside, how are you both cupcakes? Did life settle down to the usual humdrum before our visit? I'm trying not to think about you both too much because I want so badly to finish my work on time so I can quickly fetch you and be your mom again.

I miss you both. I can't wait till this is over so we can be together again. Till then, good night my loves. Dream a little dream of me.

Letter Day 13

Dear Khayla & Khadeeja,

Tonight we are back in KL without you girls. I'm so proud and yet sad at the same time that you girls didn't cry when we left. Although adik stretched your hands towards me but when I kissed you, you didn't protest. Khayla, are you mad at me sayang? You seemed a bit distant to me, preferring your Bapak to me, and rejecting my affection. I'm sorry to make you feel that as if I favored adik to you, but sweetie she's still a baby. 

Khayla,

I'm pleased that you are bonding well with your Udak and Usu, but especially so with your Udak. You see, last time she didn't even want to hold you because she's scared of small babies and little girls. But I think it's very hard for even the hardest of people to reject a sweet, cheerful and adorable little tot like you. When you constantly follow her around and playing with her, I think she just succumbs to your sweetness!

Adik Khadeeja,

For a while you had me thinking with horror that you are over with our special breastfeeding moment. The first few hours we were reunited, you rejected bf and even balked when I tried to persuade you to take it. Eventually when you were tired and sleepy, you finally relented and directly fed from me. But the moment you did, it was as if it's all coming back to you - and you didn't let go for the next 2 hours! 

The night before and the whole day today you seems to sense that I will be leaving you again and so you refused to let go. You clung to me like a magnet, and cried when I put you down. Khadeeja, at the airport just now you leant your head against my shoulder. I sensed how much you adore me and baby, I am already missing you so much :'(

Till we meet again my precious ones. Be good girls always. Love you so very, very much.

Letter Day 12

Dear Khayla & Khadeeja,

9 more hours to go sweethearts, then we will be reunited Insya Allah. We went shopping and bought a few things to bring back to Bintulu. We did laundry, ironed our clothes, packed our bags and most importantly, packed the EBM that I have been storing over the past 2 weeks for my beloved Khadeeja. I hope Makyeng will be relieved to receive new stocks!

My sayangs,

Can't wait to see you girls, oh Allah, I hope they will be meeting me at the airport tomorrow. Because each passing minute that is bringing us closer feels like a month away. My babies, please wake up early and see Mak tomorrow.

Love you girls so many many many times! Sweet dreams my little butterflies.

Letter Day 11

Dearest Khayla & Khadeeja,

Every night the same thing happens - I lie thinking of you two. I play videos of you, thanks to Makyeng and Ngah Bob. I kiss your still images, so in love am I with the two girls who rock my world and it is never the same again.

I walk this lonely path to finish something that I started 3 years back. When it's done, oh babies, I will hug you tight and never let go again. For now, sleep soundly and dream sweetly of me.