Khayla likes to exclaim, 'So how leh?'
Occasionally she breaks into incomprehensible Chinese language like, 'zai zhi le!'
True facts :p
Whenever she gets excited about a new toy / a bottle of milk / an invitation for a car ride / a trip to the playground, she will flap her hands, jump up and down and shout, 'webek2!' That sounds much like a frog croaking 'ribbitt2'.
Dear babies,
I am starting this letter with a prayer that you both will always be in Allah's protection as He has protected me at all times.
You see my children, today I had a close call of walking into a crime scene, and probably being a collateral damage. I was debating whether I should take LRT or drive to KLCC. My gut told me to take the car, go to UM City campus first then drive to KLCC.
But my logic argued that I should take the LRT because the parking fee at KLCC is so expensive. Plus I'll just waste fuel because I would go to city campus this evening anyway.
So I decided to take the LRT. The traffic light to the LRT station was faulty so I took it as my way. I took some time searching for free parking lot, I parked, I got out, passed the booth selling sweet corn without much notice, decided against withdrawing money from the ATM because I was late, and then boarded the LRT at 10.40am.
Seems like pretty ordinary right? That's right, it started as ordinary day for the Aunty and her worker selling those sweet corn at the LRT station except by the time I came back they were dead.
Some lunatics went out of control, ran amok and stabbed them both just half an hour after I boarded the train. I came back to find blood trails on the floor, the area cordoned off with the police yellow tape. My blood ran cold. I thought of both of you.
Maybe Allah just wants to remind me that death is not that far away, why am I wasting my time. Why am I here and you are there, when it's my job to keep you safe?
There's a lot of maybes but I have no answer to those. My sweethearts, if ever anything happened to me, I just want to let you know how much I love you, how much I regret not kissing you both every day when I had the chance, and how much I want you both to stay true to Allah and not neglect your duty to Allah.
I love you both from the bottomest of the bottom of my heart.
Girls,
I'm really missing you both right now. Counting the days till I meet you again. I love nothing more than cuddling and snuggling up to you both this weekend. I need you girls this moment to tell me everything is going to be ok.
Sweet dreams my lovely daughters.
To my two most favourite little girls in the whole wide world,
Almost a year has passed, it's almost unbelievable how much you both have grown since then!
This month has been a bittersweet moments for all of us. In my high hope of graduating this year, we had to make a painful decision of sending you girls to stay with Makyeng. The day you girls went away will always be etched in my mind like an ugly scar - Khayla crying while Khadeeja didn't even have the time to react. I'm so sorry sweetie, but I certainly hope that you girls are having fun being around Makyeng.
Khadeeja my independent baby,
This month you started walking. Walking, Khadeeja! At 10 months old, I must say, you really take after me in that department! To be frank, you have started to walk at 9 months but those were unintentional because when you realize that you are taking a few steps you lost balance and fell down.
But now you are pittering-pattering everywhere according to Makyeng. She sent a video of you walking from the shoe cabinet to the living room, and when you almost fell, you reached out to the wall and balanced yourself. You could pick yourself up, standing on your own and taking those cute albeit clumsy baby steps, at 10 months old! High-five, sayang! *clap hand*
Something that I didn't expect is you are starting to practice your speech. You knew how to call me by 9 months but this month, you even started to count! I almost fell of the sofa when I saw the video of Makyeng counting '1,2...' and you promptly answering Makyeng, 'Weee....' (three!) Khadeeja, leave some of those baby moments for me, will you?
My Deeja-licious cupcake,
One thing that I was so concerned and dreaded when you went back with Makyeng was how you were going to fare being away for long period without direct breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is your most favourite pastime! You can't sleep without it, cry endlessly and most stubbornly as well as passionately for it... And suddenly, you had to stop.
Makyeng said the first few days were challenging because you rejected pacifiers as well, but after 3 days you were okay. I was relieved of course.
Then another challenge came up - how to re-establish direct feeding after 2 weeks away from you. The first few hours were pure anxiety as you seemed to 'forgot' what to do - you grinned adorably but most frustratingly, and then you turned your head away and refused to suckle. I coaxed, and coaxed, and even got bitten as you slowly recalled how to, but eventually when I was almost bursting into tears from sheer frustration, you became sleepy and finally opened your mouth and suckled most contentedly like you've always done before we were separated!
From those moments until I went back to KL, you were most contented snuggling close to me and nurse yourself to sleep. I know that deep down you miss me so much, it breaks my heart :(
Moving on my little one,
As we celebrate Hari Raya Haji this month, we finally get to carried out your aqiqah. Although there was no special ceremony or berzanji for your aqiqah, the most important thing is we no longer owed you your aqiqah. I still feel quite bad for you but hey, I stayed home to look after you instead of sending you to daycare right?
Some day precious child, you will understand and hopefully appreciate the meaning behind this sacrifice.
Next, to my beloved firstborn, Khayla,
When you are not around my angel, it's like my world is plunged to darkness - it's a quiet and depressing world without your delightful presence.
You are simply that, beautiful. The sunshine that brightens up any day, so full of happiness and mischief, so affectionate yet fierce...
Angel,
At this age you have more or less become more social and outgoing compared to when you were little. I still remember your babysitters and teachers telling me how much you hated people touching you, that you cried every time it happened.
Now? You held hands with other kids at the playground even though they are strangers, you played chase and laughed and when it was time to leave, you waved bye-bye. Of course, that was after begging and negotiating with us, 'Last one?' for I don't know, the umpteenth time?
I noticed besides getting better at expressing yourself with words, you have also gained understanding on other's feelings. Like the last time we visited you girls, I was coughing badly in the car and you automatically reached out and patted me in the back. You knew that I was not okay so patting me was your way of helping me feel better. I'm so touched, love!
But the best thing about you Khayla, is you never grew out of your affection and 'manja-ness', always asking for a cuddle even more than adik. To me, you are and always will be my baby.
Happy 34 months & 10 months birthday, sweethearts.
Love you girls forever,
Mak
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