Monday, July 25, 2005

Lirik Lagu Wonderful (Everclear)

'Hey, ain't life wonderful? wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... isn't it wonderful now? '

I close my eyes when I get too sad

I think thoughts that I know are bad

Close my eyes and I count to ten

Hope it's over when I open them

I want the things that I had before

Like a star wars poster on my bedroom door

I wish I could count to ten

Make everything be wonderful again

Hope my mom and I hope my dad

Will figure out why they get so mad

Hear them scream, I hear them fight

They say bad words that make me wanna cry

Close my eyes when I go to bed

And I dream of angels who make me smile

I feel better when I hear them say

Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little

And the world's so big

I just don't understand how

You can smile with all those tears in your eyes

Tell me everything is wonderful now

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now

I go to school and I run and play

I tell the kids that it's all okay

I laugh aloud so my friends won't know

When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home

Go to my room and I close my eyes

I make believe that I have a new life

I don't believe you when you say

Everything will be wonderful someday

Promises mean everything when you're little

And the world is so big

I just don't understand how

You can smile with all those tears in your eyes

When you tell me everything is wonderful now

No No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

No No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now

I don't wanna hear you say

That I will understand someday

No, no, no, no

I don't wanna hear you say

You both have grown in a different way

No, no, no, no

I don't wanna meet your friends

And I don't wanna start over again

I just want my life to be the same

Just like it used to be

Some days I hate everything

I hate everything

Everyone and everything

Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...

I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.

Read more »

Sunday, July 24, 2005

'u kene kidnap ke? Apsal tak datang keja?'

Mula2 aku malas nak jawab. Tapi bila fikirkan balik, dia tak terlibat pun ngan dieorang yang pepandai je wat 'public tribunal' nak solve problem aku konon, tapi akhirnya jadi sakit hati je. I have to be fair to him.

Akhirnya aku reply lirik lagu Wonderful Now kat sms - 'I close my eyes when I get 2 sad. I close my eyes n I count 2 ten. Hope it's over when I open them. Make ething be wonderful again...'

'Oh. Yang penting u tak kene kidnap (erk??). So y ur sad?'

Mamat nih nak kene hempuk aper? Dah la aku tak de mood nak bergurau-senda.

'How easy to be u. Teach me how to be w/out emotions. Then I won't feel sad.'
'U don't want to be me. Sad can be sad la, tapi dun let it overcome u. Tell me, meby I can help u.'
'Who says I need help?'
'Coz ur sad. I can help to make u not sad.'

Aku terkebil2 baca reply dia. Tersentuh pun ada, marah pun ada. Who does he think he is, that he can magicked away all the pains I feel in my heart?

'Oh yeah? Can u bring back the love I've lost? Can u make the loneliness disappear? Well, can u?'

Akhirnya aku tak jadi hantar reply tu.

I am not crying out for help. I dun need help. I just need to be left alone. To be allowed the peace to grief for someone I've lost. To be allowed to withdraw from the world in my cocoon. I will only emerge when I'm ready.

Aku dah berkali2 menyatakannya. Itupun susah utk mereka fahami.

Read more »

Friday, July 22, 2005

Semakin Teruji

Salam.

Semakin teruji. Bila mereka akan percaya pada kata2 aku, aku sudah terluka dengan perbuatan mereka.

Rumah sudah rasa terasing. Kawan2 sudah tidak memahami. Kasih sudah pergi. Aku tinggal kebingungan.

Demi untuk melarikan diri dari kebingungan, aku putuskan untuk sumbat pakaian dalam beg sandang setia. Beg yang selalu aku bawa ke mana2. Motor kesayanganku. Aku call orang yang paling aku percaya.

'I need to see you. Can I stay over at ur house?'

Seperti biasa, she welcomes me. Akhirnya, pada pukul 9.30 malam, aku blah dari rumah. Sampai di Restoran Noor, aku luahkan segala2nya. Dia sentiasa faham. Dialah sahabat sejati aku sejak 5 tahun lalu.

Aku tak pegi kerja esoknya. Walaupun telefon berdering pukul 9.30 pagi. Mesti Macha yang cari. Pedulikan. Aku perlu masa untuk sendiri.

Kebingungan, duduk termenung di tasik. Ikan jadi teman setia. Mengucap istighfar. Tuhan, begitu berat dugaanMu...

Besok, aku akan lari lagi. Ke mana2 saja aku rasakan perlu. Isnin kelak. Terleraikah segalanya? Aku kena cari kekuatan untuk maafkan mereka. Sungguh mereka telah melukakan aku.

Read more »

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Lirik Lagu Incomplete (Backstreet Boys)

Empty spaces fill me up with holes

Distant faces with no place left to go

Without you within me I can't find no rest

Where I'm going is anybody's guess

Chorus:

I try to go on like I never knew you

I'm awake but my world is half asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on

But I am swimming in an ocean all alone

Baby, my baby, it's written on your face

You still wonder if we made a big mistake

(Repeat chorus)

I don't mean to drag it on,

But I can't seem to let you go

I don't wanna make you face this world alone

I wanna let you go (alone)

(Repeat chorus)

...Incomplete

Read more »

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Salam.

Macha bad mood hari nih. Guru Besar dah menye'spoil'kan mood Macha. Aku plak kena dengar Macha komplen. Ah, well.

Sebenarnya problem tu tak besar sangat. GB (Guru Besar) tak payah nak marah2 macam marah kat budak kecik. Memang Macha ngan aku sebaya anak dier, tapi kiteorang co-worker. Bukan budak kecik. Lagipun, design tu bukan kiteorang yang decide. Ape2hal pun, bila aku pointed out bukannya banyak sangat pon area nak amik buat storage area sebab bendalah yang dieorang letak tu, on temporary basis.

Macha marah lagi bila tengok water meter tak pasang lagi. Engineer tu plak amik mc. Adoi la... Tak pelah. Deadline hujung minggu nih. Kite tgk la camane dieorang akan kelam-kabut nanti.

Kakak call tadi. Saja nak bersembang. Katanya dah abis baca buku Harry Potter. Dumbledore mati. Isk. Nak jugak baca buku tu, tapi harganya RM99.90. Kering la. Sis cakap, balik. Senang sket carik pengganti.

Pengganti? Tersengih. Hari tu lepak kat rumah Ainie. Mak dier pon buat usul yang sama. Bukan calang2 orang dier nak rekomenkan. Anak bekas mufti Sarawak tu. Takut seyy... Anyway, aku harap dier main2 je.

Dah masuk waktu. Logout.

Read more »