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Coffee Break With Me

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Saturday, February 02, 2013

Khayla & Khadeeja

Mula-mula ada adik.
Khayla tak heran.
Mungkin sebab konsep adik terlalu asing.
Mungkin adik seperti tetamu yang akan pergi bila-bila masa.
Maksudnya, adik is not a permanent family member.

Tapi lama-kelamaan Khayla sedar.
Adik tak akan pergi ke mana-mana.
Dan akan sentiasa dalam dakapan emak.
Sejak tu Khayla mula menunjukkan perangai cemburu.
Merengek. Tolak adik. Tarik baju adik. Tendang adik.

Khadeeja apa kurangnya.
Sama-sama tak nak beralah.
Tak padan kecik.
Tendang si kakak. Merengek. Menangis kuat-kuat.

Ok fine.
Adakala aku team Khayla.
Ada masa aku team Khadeeja.
Tapi sebolehnya aku cuba berlaku adil.
Supaya yang kakak tak rasa terasing.
Dan adik tak rasa terabai.
Cinta triangle.

Tapi lately perangai Khayla makin menjadi-jadi.
Mula cemburu bila Khadeeja menyusu.
Mula pandai memukul adik.
Emak tidak suka.

Walaupun ada masa Khayla pun sweet.
Menepuk adik tidur.
Pujuk adik jangan menangis.
Tolong buang diapers kotor.
Memberitahu emak bila adik menangis sorang-sorang dalam bilik.

Tapi bila bab gaduh pukul-memukul mak jadi tidak suka.
Tapi yalah. Apa sangat lah nak dimarahi budak sekecil Khayla.
Lalu aku cuma boleh memujuk Khadeeja yang menangis.
Dan beritahu adik supaya mengalah.
Berikan ruang untuk kakak mengadaptasi.
Menjadi kakak ialah anjakan paradigma.
Yang tak boleh berlaku semalaman.

Malam ni.
Khadeeja bayi yang baik.
Dia tidur diam-diam bila kakak mula meragam.
Tak beri emak peluk Khadeeja.
Cuma boleh peluk Khayla seorang.
Emak layankan je si kakak.
Sampai dia tertidur.
Barulah Khadeeja bangun.
Lalu mencari susu ibu.

Ya. Beginilah motherhood.
Ada pahit. Banyak yang bahagia.
Terima kasih ya Allah.
Kerana beri aku kesempatan untuk merasai
Cinta Khayla dan Khadeeja.


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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Letter to My Girls: Khayla (25 months) & Khadeeja (1 month)

Dear Khayla & Khadeeja,

Wow. Time sure flies fast, dear ones. I am now mother to two beautiful baby girls since a month ago! What an exhilarating feeling it is :)

Let me start with Khadeeja, my younger child.

Khadeeja - Day 3
Khadeeja my precious,

My second child born on the first day of the second month in 1434H of the Islamic calendar (1.2.34). Also, the second child of ours to be born on our wedding anniversary (15 December 2012). You are named after Saidatina Khadijah R.A., the beloved wife of Rasulullah S.A.W. She was a wise businesswoman as well as a strong and loyal woman who stood by her husband. Khadeeja, my strong little one who was a survivor since you were a teeny-weeny embryo. Haha! Remember that rough trip into the jungle when you were just a little over 4 weeks in my tummy? With you, I never had to worry about your survival, not even the hardest of bumps can faze  you! Roarrr! Khadeeja, the warrior!

Khadeeja - Day 4

With that kind of strong determination to survive, you also show a strong character to match. You came out screaming as loud as a baby could cry the moment my gynae pulled you out of my open tummy. It's like you were complaining, 'What abomination is this to disturb my slumber in my warm cocoon?' It's no wonder - you came out a week or two earlier than you were supposed to so I get your utter indignation, child. But let's not dwell too much on it, ok?

If that is not enough proof that you are one fierce dragon (born in the year of dragon, perhaps that's the reason?), you have no qualms about turning your cries several octaves higher until you were shrieking in total fury whenever you were being ignored. Like, 'I want milk now please? Now, now, NOW, NOWWWWWWW!!!!' 'A minute, please wait, I need to pee, I need to drink first, or any other excuses are not tolerated AT ALL. Phew. Khadeeja, can we work on that temper of yours when you realise that Mommy is the one with the ultimate power?

I woke up on the wrong side of the crib this morning...

My darling baby,

Despite your strong character, you have the loveliest smile with the cutest dimple on your right cheek. Courtesy of Mommy, of course! Now I can understand the adage, 'When you smile, the world smiles with you'. You are that cute that I have two people telling me that looking at you make them feel like having a baby of their own!

Khadeeja - Day 19

My pumpkin pie with a dash of chilli powder,

Now let's talk about your milestones this month. Today marks your first of the many more birthday months. Happy one month old, sweetheart! Throughout this month, you've learned to:

1. Lift your head briefly when on your tummy and a lot longer when you are in upright position (yeay, baby!)
2. Gaze around you in interest for a few seconds before starting to look for Mommy's nipples to suck on for the umpteenth time
3. Coo when your sister teased you or when you don't agree with our complaints about your constant need to be carried and nursed
4. This may sound unbelievable but you can flip yourself from your side to your tummy position when you notice that I get too far from you. First attempt is to stretch your body, then bat your hands to reach out to me and finally all the stretching and batting will result in the body flip. Hey, aren't babies supposed to flip from back to front when they are around 3 months old?
5. Recognize who is not mommy.

Being fascinated with your fist (Khadeeja, Day 29)

Today, after sending off grandma and sister to the airport, you had your first month checkup and the doctor gave your health a clean bill and also your first month jab. You glared at the sweet doctor, screwed up your face and wailed! Ah, life with you will be an adventurous one for me, Khadeeja.

Khadeeja - Day 32

Now to my firstborn, Khayla.

My dearest Khayla,

You have been a big sister for a month now. Your first reaction to Khadeeja was total indifference, like, oh a baby. I'll just play a bit till the baby goes away. So it was kind of amusing to watch you when you realize that the baby did not go away but instead went home with us to stay permanently. That's when you started to show your jealousy.

Practising to be a big sister a day before Khadeeja was born

You tried to push her away when I nursed Khadeeja. You shouted, 'Hey, kennen!' (Translated - 'hey, cannot!') to protest that she slept on the bed with us. You demanded to be breastfeed also. And everything that is Khadeeja's now belongs to you e.g. her toys and her pacifiers. Especially her pacifiers.

Refused to let Khadeeja lie down in the cot and claiming her pacifier as yours

Then two weeks later, you realized that she wasn't going away. That she is part of the family now. That's when you start to show concerns and care towards Khadeeja. Like calling us to pick the baby when she cried. Or shushing the baby yourself. Or even shoving a pacifier to her wailing mouth. Or trying to feed her with a bottle of milk (yours or hers, whichever first you laid eyes on). Or helping grandma to throw away Khadeeja's soiled diapers in the waste bin. Welcome to the world of big sister, Khayla!

Big sister and small sister!

My lapis lazuli,

The day Khadeeja was born you seemed to grow up overnight. No longer we see you as a small and fragile little girl, but of a boisterous and funny two-year-old that you are. You can understand a lot of things now, except when we said 'Cannot!' Or 'Pick up your toys!'

Your vocab also grew with you. You can call Mak Yeng, say bye-bye, orange, bubble, bear-bear, nenen, Mak, Bapak and a few other words which mostly you mimic from us.

One day we were playing bubbles and they burst. You turned to me, hands spread apart and said the first complete sentence, 'Abis dah bubble!' (Bubble is finished!) Girl, not only you stringed together words to form a sentence, the words were also in perfect order, not all jumbled up! Bravo!

Entertaining your baby sister

Not only you can speak in full sentence you can sing to a tune from Babytv. Twinkle-twinkle little star is your favourite (and mine too). You know 80% of the words and will sing along to the song. You can understand the cartoons on Babytv and will laugh at the funny parts. The other day you also identified out loud a cartoon character called 'Yum-Yum' from 'The Cuddlies'. I secretly wondered whether a gear that got stuck in your brain had suddenly become unstuck and that's why you have been soaking up all the new knowledge overnight!

You love going out especially for car rides. You cried if ever anyone went out the door without offering to bring you out. You excitedly shouted, 'Walk-walk!' Then ran over to the cabinet where your shoes were kept, opened the cabinet yourself and put on your shoes on your own. Most of the time you put on the shoes correctly.

Saying 'bye-bye' because you wanted to follow Mak Yeng 'walk-walk'

And you are very funny at this age. You love being chased by Daddy. You love mimicking people's sentence, you are just like a parrot! You also have a fake laugh to make others laugh!

Often you insist to be treated like a big girl

Khayla my not-so-baby-anymore baby,

All-in-all, you provide me with the light side of life and a whole lot of sanity when things get exhausting.

Khadeeja my fierce but adorable little baby,

You reminded me that I am awesome, and worthy to be loved, by you.

To both my girls,

I love being your mother. What's life without you both, but a colorless world? Thank You, Allah for these two girls.

Khayla & Khadeeja - my precious gems


Love you both millions of time,
Mak
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Sunday, December 23, 2012

The Pre-Birth Story - Khadeeja

Hahaha. I'm a lazy momma. Been a week since I gave birth to my beautiful second daughter and I only posted her announcement. Eh, what to do la, being a mom to a newborn is not free-and-easy. Nowadays, pantang also sendiri jaga, my Mom only helps out with the kids. Fair enough la, it's not like she's the one getting me pregnant *jeling at hubby*

Anywaayyyysss...

This is the birth story of Khadeeja Binti Junaidi, beloved daughter of yours truly and Encik Junaidix.

My last day at work was on 7 December 2012. I remembered feeling so relieved that I could finally look forward to a week-long break while waiting for my baby to pop out, either through induced or natural labor. Having GDM sucks, because my obgyn flatly refused to let me carry my baby till Week 40. But I was still hopeful that by going for long walks (albeit in shopping mall and year end sales) and daily swims, I could stand a chance of triggering my own labor, just like all my friends recommended. Besides, I was hoping that this baby will be born on the same day of our wedding anniversary and her big sister's birthday - 15 December. It was what I told her every night, to hold on and only make appearance on that day. Haha. HAHAHA. Next time, be careful when you make a wish huh.

10 December 2012 (Monday) - No such luck. Went for my weekly check up and was horrified to be told that I have to be admitted by that night so that I could be induced the next morning. Reason? My baby seemed to not gain any weight - 2 weeks ago, she was 2.62kg, and this week, she was 2.66kg. My obgyn said it could be due to placenta insufficiency. No amount of persuasion and tears could change her mind (some more go and scare me by telling me that if I delayed further, there's a risk of baby starving inside).

11 December 2012 (Tuesday) - Early morning, I was given a dose of prostaglandin, the tablet which was inserted through my vajayjay to ripen my cervix and start my labour. Then I waited. And waited. Around 10, I felt strong pressure on my tummy and... went to the toilet. Was disappointed that it was not labour yet. At 4pm, started to feel contractions (it was like menstrual cramp at this point of time) and I got really excited. OMG, I'm going to deliver my baby and it's going to be a normal birth! Kept my friends and family posted via FB (what to do, I've got to do something to distract myself from the discomforts!). As the night progressed, so did my contractions and by midnight, the discomfort turned into pain (felt like being slowly drilled down there). Nurses kept checking in on me and asking whether I would like to have something to relief the pain (but at this stage, I could still bear the pain and politely rejected their offer). Had to go through another vaginal exam (VE) to see how dilated I was but was hugely disappointed when told that I had not even opened to 1cm. In total, I had to endure 3 VEs in one day. Tough luck.

12 December 2012 (Wednesday) - Second tablet given as the first tablet was insufficient to start labour. Another VE (I was sick to the back of my teeth already having my vajayjay poked each time!). The thing about VE is it is only a minor annoyance if it was done by a gentle midwife, but it could be worse than the contraction itself if done by a midwife who had poked too many vajayjays to care about the patient's feeling by then. Eh, I'm not exactly expecting any foreplays before having my vajayjay poked but a little TLC could help to alleviate the stress!

So, anyway. Renewed my hope that perhaps I would deliver my baby on this beautiful date (12.12.12).  By afternoon, my contraction pains are becoming harder to ignore and at the same time, I was doing my best to follow advice by the nurses i.e. to walk around and see whether it could help to open up my cervix. Hubby tried to help by giving me back massage, foot massage and we even studiously pored over the 'Beautiful Birth' book to look at the various positions and touch points that could help baby to descend. It is worse than taking final exam, we even have to study for it!

I wanted to go for a walk outside of the room but the midwife on duty did not allow me to leave my room because she was scared that my waters would suddenly break (which is soooo not happening!). Secretly, in my agonised state, I thought she just did not want me to scare other pregnant ladies with my groans and moans whenever the contractions hit me. So back in my room I went, pacing up and down.

By 3pm, I was begging my baby to 'pleaseeee... be good and go downnnnnn...' My hubby had given up on giving me weird looks every time I stopped in my tracks and muttered to myself. I even tried visualising my baby going down the birth canal every time the pain hit me. It was not easy to relax my pelvic floor when the pain built up and hit me full-blown. At times I thought I got it, but most of the time, I ended up clenching up as tight as a clammed-up shell.

My obgyn came again to check on me, did another VE, and regretfully informed me that I was not even dilated to 2cm. Excuse me??! I thought I had been making some progress forcing myself to pace, squat and lean over to help my baby descend, not to mention all those coaxing and visualisation. I wanted to cry already but was too exhausted. By 8pm, I was in so much pain that I wanted to just be angry at anyone - at my hubby who apologetically had to leave for his class (wth? I'm in pain and all you care about is missing a class??! Where's the 'we're in this together' spirit?), at my mom who kept praising God every time I was hit by the strong contraction pains (I know she meant well, but a little empathy please? Saying 'thank you for the pain' by someone who did not suffer the pain, did not sound good to someone who actually felt the pain!) and even at my daughter Khayla for making too much noises. But I felt most anger at my obgyn who convinced me that I need to be induced immediately and it was already the second day, where's the urgency that you kept telling me???

Ok, I was not rational at that time. Pardon me for being racked by the most painful pain that makes most women leave their sanity temporarily.

And so, 12.12.12 came and went, and still no baby. I was beginning to think that the baby is not going to come out anytime soon. I was not ready, she was not ready.

13 December 2012 (Thursday) - Obgyn came to check on me first thing in the morning. She's not a morning person, I guess. After two nights in a row of being in pain, I was exhausted, stressed and not able to think much. When she told me that I could try for a third cycle of prostaglandin and risk uterine rupture and / or another failed induced labor and ended up having to go for C-sec, or I could be rational and just go for C-sec considering that the previous two full dosage of prostaglandin did not even succeed in making my cervix budge open - I mean, my cervix remains fast shut and baby remains well, inside. Or, I could go find another doctor.

At this grim reality, I wanted to break down and cry. I had endured contraction pains for more than 48 hours, and to be told that I could not have a normal labour was a bit too much for me. The only cheerful news was that my baby did not seem to be stressed by all the stress that I had to endure, her fetal heartbeats seemed to be normal.

Only after talking out to some people and also the midwife on duty (who is such a nice motherly lady who after sharing her insights and previous cases she handled, also told us to go for a walk at KLCC to release our tension of the non-progressive labour), we finally decided that we did not want to continue with normal labour seeing that the possibility of it being successful was reduced to just 30% or less.

Before we went out, we met the obgyn again to tell her our decision and then asked whether we could choose to deliver the baby on 15th instead of tomorrow? She immediately called the OT to check on OT room's availability on that date, and we were relieved to hear that OT room IS available at 7.30am on 15 December 2012. The date I told my baby to make her debut appearance and the date I had been dreaming to give birth to my second child.

Spent the rest of the day happily buying birthday gift for my Khayla, watching movie (Twilight Saga) and dining at KLCC. Still felt contractions now and then but was in a much better mind frame.

14 December 2012 (Friday) - still felt hopeful that I could suddenly go into labour. But began to look forward to celebrate my second daughter's birthday on 15 December 2012, along with my wedding anniversary and firstborn's birthday. Oh, and birth did not happen on this date.

15 December 2012 (Saturday) - D-Day. Will continue this in another post ^_^ Hehe.
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Monday, December 17, 2012

Our Second Baby Arrived on Our 6th Wedding Anniversary!


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Friday, November 23, 2012

A bowl of TLC...

Having to control what I eat is certainly dampening my spirit lately. I can't enjoy my chocolate treats, nor drink Milo, or anything that will threaten to shoot up my blood glucose level.

So to cheer me up and also because I want to reduce my rice intake, I decided to make a delicious, hearty yet healthy soup that packs a punch of nutritions from a variety of veggies, minced meat and a dash of macaroni pasta for the carbs (because carbohydrates are still needed but in smaller quantity for a diabetic). This soup is really a complete meal on its own and a delish pick-me-up on cold weather like now.

It's none other than my favourite minestrone soup:

Minestrone with Macaroni

Serves 4-6

Ingredients

3 oz (75 g) shortcut macaroni
1 oz (25 g) butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 oz (50 g) minced beef
1 medium onion, finely chopped
2 celery stalks, washed and finely chopped
6 oz (175 g) carrots, washed and finely chopped
2 fresh or tinned tomatoes, chopped
1 clove garlic, crushed
2½ pints (1.5 litres) Beef/chicken Stock
1½ tablespoons fresh torn basil
8 oz (225 g) leeks, washed and finely chopped
6 oz (175 g) green cabbage, washed and finely shredded
1 level dessertspoon tomato purée
2 tablespoons chopped parsley
salt and freshly milled black pepper

Actually, I modified this recipe slightly to make it simpler and because I don't normally have olive oil, basil and parsley at home. Also, I skip leeks because I don't really like its strong flavour. For protein, I add in minced meat. For those who don't have liquid chicken stock, you can also replace this with the chicken stock cube and just add water.

This recipe is ridiculously simple and quick to prepare - thanks to my new food processor, the chopping and shredding of onion, celery stalks, carrots and cabbage take only 5 minutes. The first thing to do is to melt the butter (you can substitute it with margarine for a slightly healthier version, or you can skip this altogether and just use vegetable oil) and add oil to sauté the minced meat until it's brown. Then add in the onion and crushed garlic, sauté until the onion caramelized before adding in celery, carrots and tomatoes. The vegetables are then left to 'sweat' under covered lids for approximately 10-15 minutes (or until the tomatoes soften) before adding in water and a cube of chicken stock. Leave to simmer / until the vegetables are tender before adding in tomato puree for that sweet and sour punch. Add in salt, blackpepper and for me, dried Italian herbs. Leave to simmer until the flavours blend well. The final step is to add in the macaroni. When the macaroni is cooked, that's when the soup is ready to be served!

Even Khayla enjoys the soup (but she only takes the soup and not the macaroni or any visible veggies!) which is a good way to get her to eat up her veggies. Perhaps it has something to do with the tomato-based soup that makes it yummy to an almost 2-year-old like her!

P/S: After having this soup for lunch and dinner, I'm pleased to say that my blood glucose level is below 7mmol/L! ^_^
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Just Call Me Carneyz | From Sarawak and Staying in Kuala Lumpur | Lifestyle Blogger | Traveller Blogger | Mom of Two Lovely 'K' | Blogger since March 2004

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