Before some genius with good intentions created Internet, I lived happily ever after without much requirements and expectations.
Then came Internet. My first attempt at emailing somebody (my school friend, Crono) was a laugh. I typed everything in the subject of the email and none for the body. He must'd been puzzled why my email content was empty but the subject was lengthy.
I graduated from email to Yahoo! Messenger. At first I started with ICQ. Or maybe it was IRC. I chatted with this anonymous fella who suddenly announced that he liked cough syrup. That left me horrified and I ended the session abruptly. Only years later, I braved another attempt at chatting thru Yahoo!. That was because Junaidix needed to teach me something about blogging. The rest was history.
Now everything needed to be done using Internet. So you can imagine how frustrated I felt when the network was disrupted this morning until afternoon. I can't do any work. I can't do anything. Life at work became miserable.
Day 3 at the foreign workplace. My miserable-ness has slightly been diverted because I am lost every day in my work schedule & designing stuff. My first day was quite bad. I was so used to hearing Jen's cheerful voice when she picked up the phone, rolling her eyes & making funny faces when the callers turned out to be freaking buggers. Or calling Ainie's name every time I saw her. Or listening to Roy bickering with the Legal Manager for fun. It was just - homely.
My previous work environment was colorful, to put it literally and also in context. When we were bored, we went window shopping or buy hotdog from upstairs. Or sit around, watching people. Or whatever. Sure, most of the time we were stressed out, but at least we got something to keep our minds away at times.
And the people. They are colleagues, neighbours, etc. We're like, this one suburban community working at the same company. So I knew you, you knew me, we knew everybody.
So urban KL is - urban.
At least by today I wasn't crying my eyes out anymore. The first day had been terrible. I had to bring my stuff to office by taxi, and then commuted home. The lrt was jam-packed. I missed commuting between Skudai-office when I can feel & smell fresh air while riding at 120km/h (ok, so I'm exaggerating, the air smelled like carbon monoxide, but at least it didn't smell like someone's armpits). Gob-smackingly delicious feeling. At that particular moment, back to the present, I was trapped among sweaty bodies exuding all kind of smell that made me feel dizzy. When I arrived at the lrt station, I had to wait for half an hour for the feeder bus to come.
It started to rain by then. I was looking up to the dismal sky, feeling totally lost, bewildered, sad. My mp3 player was playing a sad song. I was close to tears, I nearly bawled there & then.
I hate, hate, hate, hate this bloody city.
I wanted to turn off my mp3 player, in my pocket, when my fingers brushed against something. There it was again, turning up like some guardian angel. The 109 beads stringed together. How it ended up in my pocket when I was sure I had removed it I had no idea.
This time it didn't make me cry. I clasped it with both hands, feeling my heartbeat returned to normal. This is like a talisman, but it's not and I don't believe it is. But oh boy, it reminds me that back in JB, there are friends who still wanna make me smile.
Erm. Thanks Ainie. Thanks Jen. Thanks Layla & Pakcik & Kak Za & Survivor & Chairman and all that. You know, I'm glad that I made that voice recording even though Jen sounded like Evil Queen. But yeah, that helps a lot.
Enuff sob stories, even though I still feel homesick giler2. To fulfill Romzi's request, I let myself be tagged.
Something you want to do in your life :Travel all around the world - backpacker style. One song that you could listen over and over again :That changes according to my mood. Currently I like Photograph by Nickelback. It reflects my situation right now (homesick, homesick...)
Coke or Pepsi? Coke. That's what they usually serve in KFC or McD right? Something you currently desire : Back to JB, chilling out with friends! :) One good deed you've done lately :I've been bad, bad, bad all the way. I'm evil. Ask the Evil Queen (Jen).
A funny moment in your life :I spluttered my drink all over Chairman. Survivor said something funny, or maybe it was Jen, about Ainie's eating habit. I was drinking and I couldn't help it so tersembur kat Chairman. Abis basah baju dier. Chairman terus tolak kerusi ke belakang, swearing like gila2 'What the fish??' Felt really embarrassed to Chairman, but the rest thought it was hysterical. Except for me and yang kena sembur. He was very indignified by that. There are a lot other funny stuff in my life. I led a funny life in the first place. Everybody around me is funny except me.
I finally arrived in KL . I hated this city, but I have to learn to love it. I imagined Shah's wife who came all the way from Pakistan, who grew up in totally foreign environment, weather, language, food. The challenge for her to get used to the living standard in... God, it must be awful for her. I'm glad that Shah bought that lovely house for her and the baby. She hates lizard as much as I do. I imagine she hates cockroaches too.
My room is about 70% the size of the room I occupied in Jen's house. The rental is 6 times more expensive. No, make it 12 times more expensive, because Jen paid RM20 rental for her whole house. It makes you think I'm born without a brain huh? I'm beginning to think the same too. At the back of my house, at certain hours of the day, there are terrible noises going on RIGHT BEHIND MY ROOM. My housemates are nice people, but I don't think they are the type who would roll around on the floor laughing over some crude jokes, like Kak Za, Yana & I did sometimes. No, most of the time. Or the type who would spend one night chit-chatting about all sort of things like Jen & I used to do. I mean. For cry out sake, they were IIU graduates. They laugh. Moderately.
When I reached KL, I almost cried again because the Putra lrt station was closed (how could they close it?), and none of the taxi wanna send me to Gombak. I had to beg a taxi driver to send me there. Seeing my petite size, my almost-crying expression (the tough girl looked so pathetic that nite), and my so exhausted voice asking to be send to Gombak, the driver took pity to me. Amin. There is a human in this city.
In short, everything that happened that nite made me want to cry. After arranging my stuff neatly in my room, I fell asleep on my mattress, one hand clutching the tasbih beads and one single teardrop ran down the bridge of nose and ended its course on my chin. I felt so lonely.
Day 1 in the foreign city. It rained on New Year day. I tried to mingle with my housemates. But it felt awkward. I went into my room and leant against the wall, staring at the opposite wall and hugging the Pink Panther small pillow that Layla gave before I left.When you hug it, think about us especially me. I read my diary. I tried everything to make me feel happy.
I switched on my mp3 player and listened to the recording of Ainie's, Survivor's & Jen's very sexy voice and smiled at the memory of Jen holding a cutlinary knife at Ainie threateningly, 'One more word,' as Ainie laughed at her very sexy voice. It rained the whole day. I didn't eat at all from the nite I arrived until last nite.
After Isya', I lay down on one side, on my left cheek, listening to my own breath. I have to survive. I have to go out and find the way to office tomorrow. I counted the tasbih beads and puzzled over the tangled part. Then I just closed my hand over it and thought, God, I hardly remember You.
I remembered telling the story of the beginning of mankind to an attentive Jen. I told the story until the arrival of the last prophet over a cup of chilled coke in McD.
Heaven and earth, and else in between. I miss Jen. I hope my story makes sense to her. There's so much I want to tell her. There's no more time to tell her.
I brought her to the lake on my last day in JB. I hope she finds the time to find herself while listening to the music of water cascading down, and watching the fishes swimming in the water. I visited my professor's house. He helped me a lot when I was in bad shape financially.
I love Johor and I'm missing it desperately. I'm homesick. Help me. I'm missing all the things and all the people I left behind.
Every memory of lookin' out the back door I got the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor It's hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye
Every memory of walkin' out the front door I found the photo of the friend that I was lookin' for It's hard to say it, time to say it Goodbye, goodbye.