Unsettled.

I feel complain-ish.

I remember feeling this emotion only when I was in debating community. When I first joined debate, I got on the wrong end of one of the senior debaters and somehow I bore a gloomy impression on debate meetings till I decided to end my debating life prematurely (as Rajan claimed). I loved debating, but I always felt eggy whenever I was around anyone in debating community. Then something happened, and I swore off debating forever.

Then I resumed my happy-as-a-lark life towards the end of my university life. I was rarely down, I was forever laughing. Seriously, one of my friends even made a joke on how easily I erupted into a hearty laughter at the slightest thing that amused me.

Only when I started work at my current job, I seemed to shed the happy person I was to become someone somber, always worried, always keeping a distant between myself and the surroundings.

I am not happy but I don't know what causes this unhappiness. My pay cheque is better than any of my friends, I have free access to the Internet, I've met good friends whom made life even more bearable.

I feel like my work is meaningless. The inter-department relations are so exhausting that I dread having to ask for their help. My work is so menial that I don't have to use my brains to do it and here I worked hard at graduating with a first-class degree only to spend my time preparing souvenirs, ordering stuffs, hauling boxes of things around, writing memos, processing payment, photocopying...

The whole programme defeats its purpose that I believe none of us find this job interesting anymore. I think this is what they call boredom at work. Burnout. I don't know.

I feel so exploited.

Kung Fu Hustle

Sabtu lepas aku gi tengok citer nih bersama2 ngan orang tu. Memang kelakar :D Cerita ni mengisahkan dua orang mamat (Stephen Chow ngan watak 'Porky' dlm Shaolin Soccer) yg teringin nak join sekumpulan mafia yg bergelar Axe Gang. Diaorang nih berusaha membuat huru-hara di sebuah perkampungan miskin yg mana penyewanya ialah seorang makcik yg garang yg suka hisap rokok n buli suami. Tapi diaorang tak tau orang kampung tu memang hebat2 belaka dalam kung fu.

Adegan yg membuatkan aku ketawa terbahak2 ialah bila si gemuk tu nak baling pisau kat makcik tu, pisau tu terkena kat Stephen Chow. Lepas tu bila makcik tu nampak dia yg baling pisau, dia nak baling bakul pulak kat makcik tu. Tapi dalam bakul tu ada ular berbisa yg mematuk Stephen Chow sampai bibir dia bengkak n besar giler. Muahahah!! Kelakar seyy...

Tapi satu kekurangan citer nih ialah byk benda dia tak explain. Contohnya macamane Stephen Chow akhirnya pandai berkungfu. Pagi nih aku pun gi website dia. Website nih memang impresif. Saspek betul kat diaorang sbb kecanggihan teknologi yg diaorang gunakan utk buat filem nih setanding ngan filem Barat. Walaupun kebanyakan unsur2 dia dicedok dari filem Stephen Chow yg sebelum nih - Shaolin Soccer. Kalau nak rate, aku rasa Shaolin Soccer lagi menarik. Tapi secara overall, not bad... ;)

PMS (I)

'Apsal dia tu? Pagi-pagi dah ngamuk?'
'Moody la tu. Menyampah betul.'
'PMS kot.'
'Apa tu?'
'Alah.. alasan je tu. Benda sket pun dah nak marah2. Bukannya first time pun. Bulan2 pun kena. Takkan tak leh control?'

Note: Kepada semua lelaki yg penah mengutarakan ucapan sedemikian, meh sini. Nak kasi lempang sebijik. Diaorang mana penah rasa sakitnya menjadi seorang perempuan. Nak buat plak tuduhan melulu. Kata-kata 'biasa la tu, tu pun nak kalut lagi. Umur dah berapa?'; 'alah, sakit sikit pun dah nak makan orang. Takkan tak leh tahan?' ; 'apa? dua minggu lagi baru nak 'kene' pun dah start mengamuk? tak tahan betul ngan karenah perempuan nih. emosi sgt!'

Sama jugak macam lelaki2 yg cuma terkebil2 bila tengok isteri diaorang mengerang kesakitan nak beranak. Sempat lagi isap rokok, borak2, gelak2 kat luar hospital ngan member2 baru yg tengah tunggu isteri diaorang jugak.

'Sakit sangat ke? Mcm buang air besar je kot.'
'Kalau sakit sangat, mesti diaorang serik nak beranak kali kedua. Tak de ape2 kot. Diaorang je buat ekspresi muka lebih2.'
'Aku kalau bini setakat mengerang2, aku malas nak layan. Dah dekat2 tu, baru aku drive dia ke hospital.'
'Alah, diaorang jugak yang suka beranak.'

Sedangkan isteri diaorang bertarung nyawa nak melahirkan keturunan diaorang. Hampeh betul suami macam tu.

Menurut satu website yg aku jumpa, PMS nih ialah:


Pre-menstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a condition characterised by a variety of
symptoms which occur up to 14 days before the menstrual period and cease with or shortly after the arrival of a period. PMS affects some 74% of all women.


Dr. Abraham Gay, bekas profesor pakar sakit puan kat Universiti California, LA, menerangkan simptom2 PMS:
Pre-menstrual Anxiety (A): This is characterised by elevated blood oestrogen and low progesterone. 75% are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: Anxiety, irritability, insomnia, depression (just before menses).

Pre-menstrual Hyperhydration (H): Associated with salt retention and possible elevated aldosterone (an adrenal hormone that affects fluid retention). 65–75% are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: weight gain above 1.4 kg, breast congestion, abdominal bloating, swelling of face and extremities.
Pre-menstrual Craving (C): Characterised by evidence of reactive hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar). 30% are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: Craving for sweets, increased appetite, headache, fatigue, palpitations, fainting.

Pre-menstrual Depression (D): Characterised by elevated progesterone levels later in the menstrual cycle, and by a possible increase in male hormones (androgens). Sometimes there is evidence of chronic lead poisoning. Only a small percentage are said to fall into this group. Symptoms include: Depression, forgetfulness, confusion, lethargy.
Although some women only suffer from one sub-group of symptoms, it is common to suffer from any combination of sub-groups at the same time.
Apa puncanya?
Hormonal disturbances are often given as the major cause of PMS. Mainstream medicine offers little more help than the use of synthetic hormones (pil perancang la tu). What is often forgotten or ignored is that nutritional deficiencies, an underfunctioning liver, stress and even a disturbed gut microflora may give rise to or exacerbate hormonal disturbances.
So mintak kaum Adam supaya bersabar bebanyak ngan kaum Hawa bila diaorang menunjukkan tanda2 akan bertukar menjadi singa walhal tak de buat salah apa pun...

Diary Keeper

We've received our corporate diary this week and everybody was happy with it.

The diary is really nice. Its cover is made of imitation of leather, with sewn edges. The left side is trimmed with patterns that looks like crocs skin (but of course, it's purely imitation). The color is classy, tanned brown. Everyone has something to say about the diary.

Mine, as the selector, received the sample version, which is even nicer. The pages dividers are glittering gold in color, with silver fonts typed on them. I merely pretended that I get the same diary as with everyone else's.

The diary is so nice that there are so many requests for them. However, since it is very limited editions (everyone has got theirs already, anyway), there are grudges when someone didn't get his just because someone else's name appears twice in the list HR gave to each department, and his name didn't appear in any department (how could this happen?).

One staff practically barged into my room asking for his diary because someone else has pocketed his diary instead. I had to firmly turn down his request mainly because I have distributed the diaries accordingly to each head of departments to be given to their staff. If the distribution somehow ended up with someone in his department getting TWO diaries, then is it supposed to be my fault?

I'm surprised and also amused at how they managed to turn the blame on me when the responsibility to distribute to each staff should be on HODs. They think that I should treat them like school children about to receive their food scheme (remember all those chocolate drinks we received under those scheme?) when it comes to distributing the diaries. Adoi, adoi... What sort of workplace am I working at? A kindergarten?

Even when senior managers just called up and asked for x number of diaries with the reason to distribute to business partners, I will in return, requested for the list of names of their business partners. It's tough being a diary keeper. I guard the diaries jealously. No one shall get it without me knowing the reasons why they should get more diaries than others'.

I tell you, by mid-year, everyone will forget that they have a diary. Trust me.