Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts

BOSEIT Training

BOSEIT Training
Posing before our practical training in the pool

Being in the O&G industry, I never dreamed that one day I would be privileged to attend a training for offshore personnels. So it was to my delight that I found myself nominated for BOSEIT training in Miri. For those who are not familiar, BOSEIT is a compulsory training for personnel working offshore. Not that I will be working in offshore platforms anytime soon (and leave my two princesses behind!), but nevertheless it is in preparation should I ever be required to go for a visit etc. 

Just a short introduction to BOSEIT training. There a few types of BOSEIT courses and the one that I signed up is Tropical BOSEIT or T-BOSEIT. In my class, there's another student who was taking BOSEIT, of which the difference is those taking BOSEIT will be taught how to survive in below 0 degrees ocean environment and wearing a thermal suit. Other than that, the content of the training is quite similar to T-BOSEIT (where we are taught survival skills in tropical environment).

Before going for this training, I had the impression that it would be a tough experience when it comes to applying the sea survival skills in the swimming pool especially during helicopter crash scenario.  The one practical training that everybody seemed to dread of is the simulation of the helicopter turning 180 degrees in the water while you are still on board and strapped to your seat!

Many of my friends shared their experience of being stuck to their seat (unable to remove the seat buckle), or float to the heli's floor (coz the ceiling is now below foot) unable to leave the aircraft and had to be helped by divers on standby. Some got so nervous and knocked their heads on their way out, and many other scary moments when undergoing the training.

Those who are unable to go through this exercise most likely won't be able to pass the course because it's important only those who can demonstrate their ability to escape from a sinking helicopter and save themselves are deemed fit to go to offshore.

The training is offered over a 3-day course. The first day was spent in a classroom environment where we learnt about what are the hazards and risks on an offshore platforms / floaters, theories of sea survival skills, types of signals, etc. The trainer also demonstrated techniques of putting on life jackets - the ordinary life jackets and the one issued if we are flying in a helicopter. 

The second day was the most awaited but dreaded part of the training - the practical part. We came early, signed our attendance and then were issued a locker key to put our stuffs, coverall and rubber boots each. After we changed into the given attire, we were given a briefing on what we are expected to do in the pool. Then we put on our life jacket. Our trainer went around explaining what we did wrong and showing the correct way to put and tighten our life jacket (now I know I have been doing it wrong all this while!). Note to all: always make sure the life jacket is really tighten until it's a little bit uncomfortable and the front straps pulled until the jacket front is right below our chin as loose jacket will cause discomfort and even choke us in the water.

So once we have been briefed, one by one we descended into the swimming pool. The first task was to swim on our back across the pool and then get out of the pool. The next task was to jump off the 1m ledge into the pool with our hands over our mouth and nose and ankles crossed. These I did with ease.

The next part was to go into HELP position (heat escape lessening position) which is similar to fetal position. As its name implies, the position will lessen body temperature from dropping and reduce / slow down our body from going into hypothermia. Note to all: there are 6 points on our body where heat can easily escapes - head, neck, chest, armpits, behind our knees and foot soles. 

The next practical demo is 'huddling'. This is where two or more people grab on each other to perform a tight circle in order to keep warm. We were also taught how to link arms, connect from small huddling groups to make one big human chain and then human circle, and then how to signal our location by kicking vigorously on water to attract rescuers from above.

Next, we practiced how to tow an unconscious person, how to line up in the water and move (swim backwards) in a team. We then were taught what to do when we reach the lifeboat, how to climb aboard the boat (seriously, the life jacket can be quite heavy and makes it difficult to lift yourself out of the water!). Next, we were asked the 9 procedures once we are on a life boat and some survival skills e.g. how to collect drinking water during dry season.

After that, we were asked to tip ourselves from the boat (similar to jumping of the ledge, only this time sitting on the boat edge and leaning backwards). Just as I thought we were done for the morning session, there was the last part - winching. It is a procedure of being rescued by a helicopter by looping a winch / loop under our armpits and then being lifted up. Again, I find this no big deal and before I knew it, the morning practical session is over. So far, no scary part whatsoever 😂

After break, we continued our pool session with the helicopter crash scenario. The first challenge was to put on the special life jacket, coz it's not as straightforward as putting on the ordinary life jacket! After securing everything, we were showed how to use the breathing apparatus that comes with the jacket. At first I struggled with the unlocking/locking mechanism (to let the air go through and allow us to breathe underwater). But I soon got the hang of it. Then we tried the breathing apparatus under water (with much hesitation on my side coz I was really worried that I will end up swallowing water into my lungs guys!). But when it worked like charm, I lost my anxiety and looked forward to the helicopter practice! Until I learnt that we will also need to hold our breath while escaping during this drill!

Let me tell you what happened next - turned out I was worried over nothing! It was as easy as the first part of the practical that morning. Sure, it was no fun being submerged in the cold water repeatedly, but I found putting on the seat belts in the chopper's seat even more challenging than escaping a submerged chopper (no kidding!). Luckily we were not judged based on how proficient we are at buckling up!

So this was what happened during this exercise. The first round, we 'landed' on upright position on the water surface. As the chopper was slowly filled with water, we were supposed to launch a lifeboat, then calmly release the buckles, and step out of the aircraft. Note: The passenger sitting furthest to the exit door is the first one to leave the aircraft in that order. Once all of us exit the chopper, we were supposed to cut the shorter rope that anchors us to the chopper so that we could move out of harm's way from the chopper's rotor blades which might still be moving. The longer tie is supposed to be left intact unless the chopper is sinking fast. Note:  Because the aircraft still has radar signal, we were supposed to anchor on to the chopper for as long as possible to prolong the chance of being located and rescued.

Next, as the chopper sunk, we were told to hold our breath as water reached our chest, and once our heads were fully submerged in the water, then we unbuckled and quickly escaped from the nearest window.  We repeated this with the window on for the third round, where we were supposed to push the window out in order to escape. The fourth round, we repeated the drill this time using the breathing apparatus.

The fifth to seventh rounds were slightly challenging. As the chopper sunk, it turned 180 degrees. We were first asked to hold our breath and hold on tight to the window with one hand and another hand on the buckle ready to escape once the chopper stopped moving. 

As soon as it stopped turning, I quickly unbuckled and swam to the opposite window (where gravity pulled me). Never had I felt more relieved to reach the water surface as I did during these practices 😆

We then repeated this with a breathing apparatus on this time, and finally apparatus on and window intact. For the final round, we were instructed to pull on a tab to inflate the jacket and then swim to the life boat nearby. And that was it! Nothing so nerve-wracking at all 😉

Yes, it was exhausting but exhilarating at the same time. I was so exhausted and my arms hurt from all the swimming, clinging, pulling myself out of the water and hanging onto a capsized chopper. So much so that I immediately fell asleep after the training.

Finally, on the last day, we had a refresher on first aid basics and demonstrated how to perform CPR. In the afternoon, we put on fire-retardant coverall and learned how to put out fire and escaped from smoke-filled room in a group. Lastly, we had a practice on boat transfer to platform (I was more nervous of doing this as compared to the overturned helicopter exercise!) and then going into a lifeboat to escape a burning platform.

BOSEIT Training
In the lifeboat before we crash landed on the water

And that was the end of the BOSEIT training. We got our certificate and could now go to offshore platforms if required (though after hearing that the only mode of transport to go to offshore is via boat since it's cheaper than going by heli, I was glad that I didn't have to visit offshore anytime soon).

Going to T-BOSEIT soon? My tips - just enjoy the experience and not let others' experiences scare you!

CSR: Baitul Kasih

Psst. Ini ialah prospektus investment. Pembaca2 blog yang budiman, saya nak jual trust fund yang sangat menarek. Low risk, high return. Silap2 anda semua boleh jadi kaya-raya, beli sebijik banglo dengan taman yang sangat luas, mengalahkan property di Sierramas / Sri Hartamas. Ada mau?

Trust fund ni namanya Baitul Kasih. Sekiranya anda beli trust fund ni, anda tentu tak akan rugi, malah profit beratus2 ribu kali ganda daripada investment. Masih berminat?

Mari kita berkenalan dengan trust fund Baitul Kasih:

Baitul Kasih terletak di Bukit Rahman Putra & menempatkan 19 orang anak2 yatim & OKU, tapi sebenarnya penjaga rumah ni ada menyewa dua buah rumah lain untuk menampung another 20+ anak2 yatim. Jumlah anak yatim semuanya ialah 40+ orang:

Anak kecik ni namanya Fatimah. Dia kanak2 special sebab cacat penglihatan tapi dia sangat comel. Kedua2 ibu bapa Fatimah sudah meninggal dunia.


Adik ni pulak namanya ialah Zakaria. Dia seorang anak autism
.

Sebahagian lagi penghuni Baitul Kasih


Tugas saya sebagai penjual trust fund ialah mengumpulkan sumbangan dari buyers (iaitu pembaca blog yang dermawan) :

1. Pampers bayi (saiz M& L) & orang dewasa (untuk remaja OKU)
2. Susu bayi (Dutch Lady 1-2-3)
3. Barangan peribadi i.e. ubat gigi/syampu/sabun/berus gigi
4. Pakaian2 terpakai (yang masih elok & sesuai untuk kanak2 berusia dari 1-17 tahun)
5. Milo
6. Beras / gula / tepung gandum - barangan dapur
7. Alat2 mainan
8. Buku cerita kanak2 / buku teks / buku2 agama
9. Kipas angin (standing fan)

- Sumbangan dalam bentuk wang adalah tidak digalakkan.

Memandangkan kami akan mengadakan kerja2 amal di Rumah Baitul Kasih pada hari Ahad ni, besarlah harapan sekiranya ada yang menyumbang barang2 keperluan di atas & dihantar ke rumah kami selewat2nya pada hari Sabtu. :)

Sesiapa yang berminat nak join pun boleh juga. Aktiviti kami lebih kepada meluangkan masa dengan anak2 yatim sebab sebenarnya mereka lebih memerlukan perhatian daripada bantuan material (berdasarkan pengalaman buat kerja amal di rumah anak2 yatim di Titiwangsa, kanak2 itu lebih dahagakan kasih sayang)

Sekian terima kasih. Boleh bersurai ke blog masing2.

Website Baitul Kasih: http://baitulkasih.com/

Hectic

For the past two months or so, I have been kept really busy at the office. The frenzy started to build up even more the past two weeks until yesterday because of the deadline to submit appraisal nomination.

Turns out the system became haywire when it was forced to accept thousands of entries and I almost went mad in the office. There was not even time for lunch, and I went back home after 8pm almost every day.

Things were so busy that we even spoke in abbreviations:

Me: The system deleted one of our user's name, so I can't assist him.
Colleague: Really? OMG!
Me: I know! WTH??
(and we both cracked up)

Yup, it's fun fun fun in the office now.

Work, travel, work!

Saya telah terima banyak komentar lately. Sebab. Saya malas nak update blog. Pembaca2 blog semua dah malas bukak blog saya. Mintak ampun semua! Sebenarnya, saya teramat bz!

(Pembaca2 blog budiman:'Cepat la update blog!')

Ala, bukan tak nak update, tapi. Ok, meh tengok jadual travel saya sekarang:

1. Besok - Travel ke Miri sampai 26hb.
2. 3-4 Ogos - Travel ke Kuantan.
3. ??? Ogos - Travel ke Bintulu. Then ke Labuan besoknya.
4. 10-13 Ogos - Travel ke Kerteh.

Kamu semua nampak ni? Bukan setakat nak update blog, nak buat anak pun tak sempat ok! (Hahaha! Ini ialah ayat berunsur penipuan!)

Ok lah, saya nak packing sekarang. Tunggu saya balik barulah saya akan membebel lagi (kalau saya rajin).

KBSM (Kerja Berat Sampai Mati)

Kali ini saya travelling lagi. Seminggu. Huhu. Semoga rumahku masih berkeadaan comel bila balik Selasa ini. Kalau tak. Saya akan bertukar jadi Incredible Hulk. Yang tak cukup tido. Bahaya tau. Hahaha.

Semalam di bilik hotel, pukul 3 pagi masih berhempas-pulas menyiapkan progres. Separuh gila bila internet terkedek2. Maxis, saya bayar mahal tau. Kamu mesti deliver 3.6Mbps tu 24 hours!

Hari ini schedule saya penuh. Saya ada banyak meeting. Saya ada site visit. Saya tak sempat lunch. Haha. Bagus, bagus. Ini barulah dinamakan kerja bermati-matian.

Sekarang rasa sangat mengantok. Malam ini, saya akan balas dendam. Tido awal. Suami Terchenta pulak akan sampai untuk temankan saya tido :) Hehe. I like! :p

p/s: En. Kasawari, klu free apa kata kita lepak2 di Senibong mlm besok? :p

While On The Go

Hello peeps!

Seems that the only time I can leave a quick jot in my blog is when I'm in the ERL on my way to KLIA for YET ANOTHER working trip. Luckily, last night I managed to go to bed early so I can wake up at 4am in order to catch my 7.25am flight.

I have managed to clear a huge chunk of my tasks, but while my assistant is helping with all the contacts, I have to move on to another huge portions of pending work. I have not even have the time to train her on some of the things I do before I leave, but I think I've no choice but to leave it till after this madness is done. I'm sooo looking forward to that!

Photoshop Tutorial: Layer

On dee83's request, I'm going to show how to create this layered image:


Step 1 - Open 'New...' in Adobe Photoshop and set background content 'Black'.

Step 2 - Open selected image, copy-n-paste on black background layer. Name it as 'Layer1':












Step 3 - Choose Layer1. Click 'Layer' > 'Layer Style' > 'Stroke...'













Step 4 - In Structure area, set Size '8' (depending on how thick the frame you want it to be), Position 'Inside', choose Color 'C=0 M=0 Y=0 K=0' (also known as white).












Step 5 - Duplicate image, twice (by clicking on image, then press 'Alt'+click).













Step 6 - Tilt images at the back at different angles: (Click image to view larger)













Step 7 - Arrange the images accordingly. Then, using Rectangular Marquee, draw a rectangle underneath top-most image, and paint it white using Paint tool:













Step 8 - Type a title inside the white rectangle. Tadah! Siap! :)


Graphic Design Part 5

Hasil contengan ekspress!

Siang tadi, aku concentrate bekerja bersungguh2. Sebab ada 2 poster yang perlu disiapkan untuk die-mail ke JB. Nasib baik hari ini jiwa aku sangat artistik. Dan... Aku perlu mengaku. Sebenarnya konsep ini bukan idea original aku. Aku sangat heart stripe dan bila aku jumpa di Internet, lantas aku mencilok idea bernas ini. Syabas, diri-sendiri! *tepuk bahu diri-sendiri

Well, sebenarnya kerana aku perlu siapkan dalam 2 jam sahaja sebelum dihantar ke printer. Masa yang suntuk itu, ditambah keringat disumbang secara relapaksa tanpa upah ekstra (mana bonus tahun ini???) memandangkan graphic design bukan skop pekerjaan, menjadikan aku seorang designer cetak rompak. Sigh. Tapi aku takkan serik untuk buat lagi :p

Nota kaki & tangan: Ada satu lagi design tapi aku malas nak sambung. Perlu buat business presentation yg lebih utama. Dan... bos aku baru mengkhabarkan berita gembira. Kalau ada rezeki (kalau betul2 terjadi, sebab sebelum ni pun Trump penah janji tapi tak penah2 jadi), kami mungkin akan menghadiri course di luar negara. Kalau betul, so suami terchenta, saya mahu awak renew passport secepat mungkin. Kita berbulan madu di Eropah sahaja!

Aiyoyo...

… I have to change info on 2 designs, and 1 new design to do. 2 of the designs to upload on website by Friday. All have to be sent to JB by today.

And I have 1 business presentation to prepare. Luckily the other project’s meeting has been postponed to tomorrow.

*Claw my eyes out*

I’m so bogged down.

Corporate Branding

Shopping! Siapa tak suka shopping, sila terjun bangunan! Sebenarnya, aku suka shopping. Tapi keadaan kewangan tak selalu mengizinkan. Aku suka shopping di Ikea. Kalau aku kaya macam Paris Hilton, aku akan beli Ikea. I love Ikea! (Iklan: Next month wedding anniversary kami yang pertama, sila hadiahkan barang2 dari Ikea kepada sesiapa yang belum belikan hadiah wedding utk kami :p Muahaha!)

Tapi, yang aku tak suka ialah projek latest ini. Projek shopping mall. Trump mahu buat shopping mall. Jadi, selepas brainstorming nama2 untuk shopping mall ni (termasuk ‘Kepak’. Hahaha!), beberapa nama dah di shortlisted. Oleh sebab aku seorang sahaja kaum Hawa di dalam bilik meeting (dan kaum Hawa ialah penyumbang nombor 1 di shopping mall!), jadi Trump suruh aku pilih nama untuk shopping mall itu. WALIOWEH! Berapa kali korang berpeluang menamakan shopping mall dalam seumur hidup korang???

Probably my best working experience so far. Pilih nama shopping mall. Walaupun sebenarnya aku lebih suka nama yang ada perkataan ‘Avenue’. Aku suka bangat word ‘Avenue’ itu. Gaya, mutu, keunggulan.

Tapi kan. Itu sahaja experience yang aku suka. Lepas tu, everything is extra work for me. Sebab aku kuli. Jadi, aku yang kena buat semua kerja (Sila rujuk posting lama2 tentang kerja). Never mind. Bukankah aku akan ‘membelahkan’ diri dari sini tak lama lagi? *Menghitung hari dan jari*.

Jadi aku bersabar sahajalah.

Petang tadi. Kami meeting pasal shopping mall ini lagi. Branding consultant itu menyerahkan proposal design dan concept. Secara jujur aku ingin bagitau mereka…

I don’t like your designs. Pergi buat balik.

Tapi, mereka consultant kesukaan Trump. Kalau aku tersalah cakap, secara tak langsung, aku menempah tiket maut. Maka bonus yang ditunggu-tunggu tu akan melambai selamat tinggal kepada aku.

Have to be very careful nowadays.

Korang bayangkan design mereka sangat hambar. Ada satu warna dengan tone berbeza. Dan ada logo. That’s all.

Bagi aku apa-apa yang berkaitan dengan shopping mall mesti lah exciting. Mestilah promote lifestyle. So design harus masukkan elemen FUN, LIFESTYLE, EXCITEMENT. Design untuk marketing material shopping mall mesti CLASSY, STYLISH, TRENDY. Mesti buatkan shoppers rasa, ‘Wow! Tempat ni ada style-lah!’ Something like Pavilion KL punya brand identity. Classy.

Jadi, untuk idea brilliant aku itu, aku pulak yang kena carikan sample. Kalau macam tu, better aku yang dibayar gaji consultant? Betul tak?

The Making of a (Corporate) War General

We were staring at the news release in The Star incredulously. Me, Trump, my boss, the Finance GM. All standing and looking as if a cat had swallowed our tongues. A famous cat with red and white fur.

‘How dare they make such claims?’ Trump started.
‘With them, we are not too surprised. Their lies can be phenomenal.’ My boss quipped in.
‘What 1b?’ the Finance GM nearly choked on the figure.
‘Where 1b?’ Asked Trump.
‘This 1b.’ I jabbed a finger at the statement.
‘What 1b?’ the Finance GM was near hysterical. ‘They owe us, not invest in us that figure!’
‘The ‘bee’ in their bonnet la. That stung their brains.’ I grinned.
‘You think of something to respond to this.’ Trump gave the order and left.
‘Can I leave the counter-attack to you?’ my boss asked.

I flexed my fingers – fingers that will be responsible for the war of words in this vicious corporate battle. My fingers that will shape sentences dripping with sarcasm; sharp and piercing words to cut deeply into our opponents’ PR defence. How dare they lie to the world about what an angel they are when in truth, they are the reason why I didn’t get my Raya bonus this year.

‘Of course. Leave the battle to me. I have a double-edge strategy that I will develop further to counter their claims.’

Which reminds me why I was a debater before. I love a good fight. Especially when you throw words around.

Graphic Design Part 4

Euphoria... is when I completed the promo design and newsletter writing waaaayyyy before the deadline!


Sorry guys, been busy lately with work and more work and more work. Will be off for Hari Raya leave for a long time so work has to be completed as early as possible :)

Website Advertisement Agreement Finally Signed Off

For the past few months, I have been working hard on closing a deal on website advertising with a third-party system provider in Singapore. Working hard means I have scouted around for the service providers, got in touch with them, provided and collected data, met face-to-face, proposed layout design, discussed with web agency on integration works, and then became the middle person between Legal department and third party to finalise the agreement. And this A-Z works are just a tiny part of my work.

Finally, last Friday I was ready to show Trump that my department is not just a cost-centre. We are BOTH cost centre and revenue-generating unit. Perhaps, he won’t be so hard in giving his approvals, which will be good news for my successor once I am ready to re-hand in my resignation letter. On my part, that’s something to gloss up my resumé. ‘Despite being a cost-centre, I succeed in contributing monthly revenue for the company.’

With flushed face and thumping heart, I sat in front of Trump and said, ‘I bring you good news, Datuk. We have managed to get in website ads in our website, which translates into a revenue forecast of RMXk per month.’ I can hear Trump’s brain gearing into motions as he comprehended my rushing words. ‘What is this Carneyz talking about? Revenue? More RM? Cost centres don’t generate any revenues…’ and I had to explain in bits and pieces of how I started the whole project, how does the mechanism work, and showed him the memo & the finalised agreement.

He was, undeniably very pleased at this news. ‘Very good. RMXk? Good work.’ Were his two replies. He signed the agreement and studied the memo intently for a minute.

Then…

‘Don’t you think our website looks too cluttered? I find things all over the place. Don’t you think so? Why isn’t the Business section updated? Didn’t you ask from the related departments for feeds? I want it updated by end of this month!’

Suddenly he shot all these questions to us endlessly. It was as if we had wrestled the compliments out of his mouth, of which he had regained the control of his brain from our evil clutches and back to being Trump. The Trump who criticizes and then gives us the axe, and our heads roll out of his office back to where they belong. In a lowly ghetto.

This is probably my 1,865,394th reason to quit and look for a real job (instead of acting like a slave) - the fact that getting appreciated verbally is already hard enough, let alone getting salary increments.

My famous book is gonna be on toilet

-Perhaps this sounds too good to be true for people who have never paid a visit to (name of place withheld). However, step into the loo and the first sight to greet you are (flower) petals floating serenely in bowls filled with crystal-clear waters. These ornaments are placed on the creamy white, polished ceramic sink with deep, round-ish water basins that will not let a drop of water splashed onto your shirt when you wash your hands at the sink.

Preservation of the environment is also incorporated in the restroom design. Each water-taps are turned on by movement sensors. When a person place his or her hands under the taps, water will spurt forth for a few seconds and turn off by itself, thus ensuring that wastage is limited. (excerpts of my review on a particular toilet)-

Adakah patut? Aku kena tulis pasal toilet? Oh, the joy of Monday. If you ask me how it feels to be me, I'd say. Write a review on toilets, and you'd know. I play with words and with shapes and with numbers. Oh, the joy of Monday.

Life in Corporate Communications!

Sel2 otak aku berlumba2 membunuh diri. Splat! Splat! Eek! Bunyi kematian yang menakutkan. Gara-gara aku terlalu memaksa. Terlalu demanding. Mengerahkan jabatan-jabatan serebrum dan amygdala memproses berjuta-juta maklumat dan memuntahkan produk siap dalam masa 1/1 juta saat sesuka hati aku.

Kerja-kerja aku bertaburan di atas meja. Semakin banyak maklumat. Semakin pantas usia aku menjadi pendek. Dalam masa yang sama, aku:

1. Mencari statistik dari tahun 2004 - 2006.
2. Mencari foto-foto utk corporate brochure. Aku sengal. Hari Jumaat lepas, aku terlupa save dalam satu folder. Kan dah dua kali kerja. Aku benci buat kerja yang sama. Sekali lagi, sel-sel otak aku membunuh diri kerana kecewa dengan diri-sendiri.
3. Siapkan summary market survey dalam sales proposal
4. Mencari CD original artwork yang diminta oleh agency designer. Mujur aku tak tahu Illustrator, kalau tak aku pasti menyumbangkan 'titik peluh' percuma. Seperti biasa.

Bukan aku tak biasa buat dua atau tiga kerja dalam satu masa. Aku dilahirkan Gemini, memang sudah nature aku untuk buat multi-tasking. Tapi kali ini sangat urgent. Orang atasan aku buat hal durjana. Bukan ke sudah berabad lamanya aku ingatkan:

A. Corporate brochure sudah mau habis, bos. Tolong check maklumat yang aku dah bersusah-payah mengejar semua pihak yang terlibat untuk submit SECEPAT MUNGKIN! supaya aku boleh serahkan kat designer sebulan yang lalu.

Bos aku bergoyang kaki kanan dan kiri. Mengecek emel. Mengecek sapa yang tersingkir dari American Idol. Mengecek apa yang terjadi dalam sinetron kesukaannya.'I'll have a look at it later.' Hasilnya, sekarang semua orang kejar department kami mintak corporate brochure SECEPAT MUNGKIN! Baru la dia kelam-kabut mintak agency cepatkan printing. Walhal baru minggu lepas submit. Trump pun belum approve. Aku tak tahu nak kasihan siapa. Agency atau aku sendiri. Rasanya lebih berfaedah kasihankan diri-sendiri. Kesiannya aku.

B. Bulan lepas aku bilang pada bos: Sebelum BD busy buat exhibition, baik kita cari supplier booth kita kerana booth yang lama perlu tukar baru. Maklumatnya sudah outdated.

Bos aku kata ok biar dia yang buat. Aku busy sebab update corporate brochure dan siapkan market survey. Lagi perlu update promosi laman web. Lagi perlu siapkan design signage baru. Maklum la, aku kuli. Khamis lepas. Seperti yang aku jangka, BD mintak booth. Bos aku baru kelam-kabut contact supplier. Visual booth perlu usai cepat-cepat sebelum Jumaat ni. Padahal deliver period 10 working days. Hari ni baru mereka hantar design. Huduh. Tapi sebab dah urgent, tak boleh berlenggang-kangkung cerewet. Aku bagitau Chairman, apa2 yang terjadi, bukan salah aku. Aku sudah nak termuntah ingatkan bos aku supaya setelkan bendalah ni bulan lepas.

Banyak lagi yang aku tak puas hati tapi aku tak boleh buat apa2. Sebab. Aku kuli, dia bos. Aku buat cepat-cepat pun, akan jadi lambat jugak. Akhir-akhir ni aku nak berbaik-baik dengan Trump. Tak mahu benci-benci dengan Trump. Tak mahu gaduh-gaduh dengan Trump. Tapi aku cuma berdiri di sebalik bayang-bayang bos. Bila bos buat durjana, pasti Trump akan ingat aku pun terlibat sama. Aku pun pekerja yang lembab. Tak efektif, inovatif, kreatif, dan segala macam 'if'.

Aku sudah buat yang terbaik, Trump! Sila hantar bos aku pergi training untuk kasi dia motivasi sepanjang tahun!

Huh. Macam la Trump pernah membaca ayat-ayat durjana aku di sini. Sekian.

Where The Solution Is Just a Click Away

I was wrestling with the P&L statement for March sales which can get extremely confusing as I have to refer to three different spreadsheets simultaneously.

In the midst of this fight for sanity, I was interrupted by my colleague calling out in frustration, 'How do I make these as secondary bullets??!'

I walked and stared at the monitor. He was preparing a PowerPoint presentation and having a problem trying to get a list of text to go under the main point as sub-points. In vain, he selected the list, clicked and un-clicked the 'Numbers & Bullets' button several times.

'Let me.' I took the mouse, pointed towards the 'Indent' button and clicked. 'Tadah!'

Immediately, the list jumped one-inch to the right, bullets and all.

'That's it??? I spent five minutes trying to do it and you just clicked once???'

'Which explains why Trump never fires me no matter how bloody rude I am.'

More Meetings!

Hari ni, keje aku memeningkan kepala.

Pening kepala#1

Baru jumpa Trump. Seperti biasa, ekspresi muka dier boleh buat lutut menggigil woo... tapi lepas satu demi satu memo taruk atas meja sambil explain,

'As a way to cut cost...
To help to trim the cost..
A cheaper alternative...'


mungkin menyebabkan cuping telinganya terasa lebih 'sejuk' dan 'nyaman'.

Tapi satu je memo dia sign. Hampehs. Whatever la Datuk, as long as gaji I tak kene trim. OK?

Pening kepala #2

Tengahari, ada meeting di PWTC. Kononnya nak mintak sponsor event. Beriya2 la dieorg nak 'memberikan sokongan padu'. Aku pun bersemangat la story2 pasal event ni. Akhirnya,

Aku: 'So, can I conclude that you are interested to be our main F&B sponsor?'
Encik X: 'Oh yeah. We'd love to support this event. We foresee that this event will enhance our brand & revenue on that day.'
Aku: 'Definitely, no questions about that. As our main sponsor, we'll make sure your brand will be visible. So, are you going to sponsor tea break, lunch or both?'
Encik X: 'Erm... Tengok la dulu.'
Aku: ??
Encik X: 'I can sponsor the mascot, the decorations, bla bla...'
Aku: !#$%&*?? Kata nak jadi main F&B sponsor, apakejadah nak sponsor mascot??

Dari zaman Uni lagi aku paling benci kene suruh carik sponsor. Sebab bila jumpa ngan orang cenggini, nak contribute kalau boleh sebatang pen je, tapi nak branding coverage mengalahkan corporation yang sponsor beratus2 ribu!

Encik X, kalau macam ni, baaaaaiiikkkkk lagi saya sponsor diri-sendiri ok? Lebih jimat tak payah nak buat advertisement khas untuk you!

Pening kepala #3

Bos kiteorg tanya, 'You all nak sponsor apa, ya?'
Aku dan Ira, assistant aku tengok each other dengan pandangan, 'What the...??'

Later...
Ira: Better lagi kalau I duduk atas pangku Encik X tu and cakap, 'Ala, Encik X... Boleh la sponsor makanan utk kiteorg... I think it'll work magic!'

Yes, Ira. Whatever is better than just asking whether they mind giving us a pen as sponsorship.

Pening kepala #4

Hari ni baru hari Khamis?? I can't wait for Saturday!!!

Graphic Design Part 3


At 3.30pm:

'Carneyz, this is an urgent task. Can you find an agency to print a mock cheque?'
'Uhuh.'
'We need it Monday. Please design the mock cheque.'
'Now?'
'Yes.'
'That means I'll have to email them the artwork before 5.30 pm.'
'I supposed so.'
'I just love this place. It's so... at the spur of the moment thing.'
'Stop being sarcastic and get the job done.'

5.30pm: Sent. Artwork. Above.