Friday, February 25, 2005

My new colleague told me,

'Every sufferings you endure in this world, you'll get a bonus point up there.' He pointed to heaven's way.

'... Every sufferings you endure patiently.' I replied, almost impatiently.

'Every sufferings you endure patiently, you get extra bonus.' He counter-replied. Heck. Who am I to refute him? He studies Islam teachings and he knows all the Hadiths. I figure out his family is deeply religious.

I am suffering even more as a little voice inside me making me even more curiga. Mia, who's betraying, and who's being betrayed? I shall not throw accusations even in anger, until I have proof but God, give me more strength to be patient. God, I say that as a prayer. When I wake up, when I ride my bike, when I work, when I sleep.

'Even when you say 'Lailahailallah Muhammadarrasulullah, that is also a prayer in the sense that you show submission unto Him.'

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Récent tâche

Free la plak arinih (or rather malas nak buat keja ). Ni dah kali ketiga post entry. Hehe. Sejak beberapa hari nih agak busy sket uruskan persiapan ke konferens kat Singapore minggu depan and trip ke Riau (yg sepatutnya minggu nih ).

Malam semalam ada dinner ngan wartawan2 kat JB n aku kene tolong Ainie kontek depa sumer pasal dier sibuk giler . Aku plak tak de mood nak buat research yg Marketing Manager suruh. Kemalasan yang melampau2... Research, sapa yg rajin buat?

Tapi al-hamdulillah, berkat kesabaran kitaorang meng kontek n mengfakskan jemputan, kiranya dinner tu successful . Yalah, orang press nih byk asgt. Malam semalam pun tak dapat lama2 sebab diaorang ada work asgt n Pak Lah pun turun JB arinih. Tapi diaorang datang juga. Terharu. Huhu... Tima kaseh kat sumer kerana sudi datang

Citer sket la pasal asgt terbaru aku nih. Dua hari yg lalu, aku, Ainie ngan Chairman telah dipanggil masuk mengadap Bendahara (orang kanan Mr. Trump).

Bendahara : OK. I have assignments for you guys.
Tiga2 (dalam hati) : Tidaaaak!!!
Bendahara (tunjuk kat Chairman) : I'm going to send you to Holland.
Bendahara (tunjuk kat aku ngan Ainie) : You two, make preparations to go to Riau. Jen will be sent to Jakarta.

Kat luar bilik Bendahara, Ainie tak puas hati sebab Chairman dapat gi Holland .

'Why? Why? Why????' Ainie melepaskan geram .
Chairman cuma tersenyum poyo . Aku plak sibuk memikirkan camane aku nak prepare paperwork untuk trip nih .

Jadi aku pun prepare paperwork (bila nak gi, berapa hari, stay kat mana, kenapa nak gi, bla2) while Ainie prepare tentatif (hari pertama - jalan2. Hari kedua - pun jalan2... )

Bila aku submit paperwork kat Bendahara (dan kene reject 3, 4 kali...) akhirnya Bendahara tanya,

'Where's costing? How to approve like this?'

Dalam hati aku, 'Ceeeyy.. orang tua nih! Arituh cakap yg tu tak payah pecah kepala nak pikiaq, depa nak buat. Hampeh.' Jadi, aku kembali ke meja nak buat kira2 bajet nih . Huhu... Aku mana penah organize trip nih. Langkawi pun aku tak sampai lagi. Macamana aku nak wat bajet? Apa nak masuk dlm bajet? Camane nak dapatkan accommodation? Letih aku surf Internet utk cari hotel n hotel rate kat Riau sana. Tapi tak de byk sangat pilihan .

Tambang pun, aku kena carik baper tambang dari Pekanbaru ke Padang, n Padang ke Palembang. Kontek ticketing agent depa, hampeh. Ada ke patut, suruh aku sendiri kontek opis diaorang kat Sumatera tuh . Tak membantu langsung. Last2 aku fax je request for info kat seberang sana.

Last sekali, makan n transport kat sana. Depa naik apa? Bas ke, beca ke, teksi ke, lori? Makanan mahal ke? Aku malas nak pikiaq panjang, aku kontek Magic sebab Magic gi Bali beberapa minggu lepas.

Me : Magic, how's Bali?
Magic: If you don't mind about food, and lodgings, it's nice.
Me : Why?
Magic : Erm...
Me : Never mind. What's the common public transport over there?
Magic : Don't compare Bali with other places in Indonesia. Bali is so commercialized. I had package tour. So.
Me : I see. Hmmm... Food price? Cheaper?
Magic : More or less, equivalent.
Me : I see... OK, that really helps. Thanks Magic!
Magic : My tips, Carneyz. Get a travel agency to help you plan the trip and book tickets and all that. You'll cut down the cost.
Me : We're supposed to go ala Amazing Race.
Magic : Owh. Have fun.

So, aku dah fill in the blank except for tambang domestik kat sana. Kalau dah approve, baru aku nak setelkan reservations, etc. etc . For now, aku nak wat task lain

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Caffeine-laden toxin

I shouldn't have drink coffee this morning. Now I feel suffocated. I feel depressed. I can't stand caffeine. Shucks. I have to find choccies. That's the only antidote.

... but I'm on diet. WAHEY!

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Al-Fatihah to one of the manager's wife who passed away recently in a robbery-cum-murder case. May the culprits be brought to justice and may she rest in peace and in God's blessing.

My heartfelt condolence to the manager and his children.

Al-Fatihah.

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Monday, February 21, 2005

Giving a Chance to Loved Ones

I spent Sunday lepak-ing with my ex-roommate after going out for dinner. My ex-roommate and I go back a long time ago when we first started university and we were two awfully homesick girls discussing about pizza topping to stop feeling miserable. While I had graduated, she skipped one semester and now she's in her final semester.

'I don't know what's going to happen next,' she started, 'I don't know what I want to be.'
'Life's not an option. You don't choose what you want to be, you just grab whatever passes your way.' I blurted out.

I realized that was true.

When I finished final exam., I made plans to stay in JB until convocation and go back to Sarawak to work in one of the most established oil company as HR Executive or in its equivalent position.

That plan didn't materialize. I overdue my stay until today coz the company that I aimed for turned down my application. After my project ended (I was working as Research Assistant in my faculty), my cash ran low and in desperation, I just grabbed the first job opportunity that came my way. And stuck here until now.

I also planned to further my studies at my alma mater, but until now that plan is still pending (I hope it's pending, not cancelled). The faculty has revised the schedule so classes would be conducted during office hour. Attending classes during weekend is possible provided I'm willing to pay double the cost of normal classes. In the end, limited resources are holding me back. I'm not really sure whether I want to pursue HR anymore.

Life's not an option. You don't choose what you want to be. But you can create choice for others to make.
I'm not willing to pay extra for my own studies simply because my younger siblings' studies are more important than mine. One brother has just started college and my elder sister and I have decided to help finance his studies. We really want to support our brother and wish to see him become a successful town planner. As he's not eligible for study loans, we will be there to pay for his books, exams, rent, food and anything he needs.

Another brother will be starting university soon (I hope he'll get a place in university) and until he gets his financial assistance, he would also need our help.

Finally my sister who's in boarding school - I didn't get the chance to spoil her when she was small as I was busy with my own studies. She's always so sweet, and never asks for anything. However I was a young girl once, and I understand perfectly well a young girl's longings for pretty things, books, make ups, etc. Unlike me, I want her to be able to own the things that she longs for. I don't want her to feel the envy and disappointment of not being able to afford what other people can have, like how my sister and I felt a long time ago.

Maybe when they have succeeded to overcome life's obstacles, their sisters can think about their own lives' choices.

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