It's 3 a.m. in the morning. I'm still at the office. Ainie is somewhere at the corner of the office, rehearsing her part of presentation. Jen is asking the Chairman the meanings of some of the terminology in her part. The Chairman is preparing the proposal after finishing the slides while answering Jen's questions.

At 11.30 pm the night before, we came up with the concept and the basic idea.

At 11.00 am, Jen and I discussed the main ideas and fine-tuning the details.

At 2 pm, Jen & Ainie left to attend to some other business.

At 5 pm, I was still working out the logo design. At 6 pm, the team came together to give inputs and at 7 pm, the logo was finalized.

At 9 pm, we sat cross-legged looking at the plan where the event is proposed to happen. And discussed which event is to take place where, and what are the packages we are going to offer. We had an old plan and we had to update the plan.

At 11 pm, Ainie scanned the old plan and emailed it to me. While I revised the plan, Jen & Ainie worked on the proposed itinerary and project timeline. 140 days away...

At 2 am, I came up with the new plan, emailed it to the Chairman, and came back to the main office. The Chairman finalized the PowerPoint slides, and printed handout copies to all.

At 2.30 am, we divided the slides and who will present what.

At 3 am, here I am, waiting for 10.30 am where we are going to present the proposal to the management.

And at 2 pm, we will start on the next business proposal...

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Overload = keja 24 jam

Aku dah terasa migraine balik.

Apa salahnya sesekali aku masuk opis ngan perasaan aman dan tenteram? Salah ke?

Aaaarrggghhh!!! Semalam aku tak dak, rupa2nya ada lagi mega proposal nak kena siapkan by end of week. Bila Chairman bagitau, aku dah terasa kepala aku berdenyut2. Mujur dia dah start on draft of the proposal. Kalau tak pengsan la aku ngan Ainie nak perah otak on something yang kitaorang tak penah tau atau nak amik tau. Huhu...!

Pas tu, on another upcoming event, as usual, kitaorang kena come up with a concept within less than 48 hours. Last time, Ainie dah tergolek2 atas lantai dengan demam2 nak pikirkan concept event.

Ah, sambung karang la. Dah kena panggil brainstorming. :p

P/S: Chairman tuh, tak nak amik idea aku. Menyampah la kat orang gile kuasa nih...

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Work Deadline Accomplished.

I feel... dead. For the past two weeks, I had been going thru phases of emotions - I was angry, I was pissed off, I wanted to throw tantrum, complain, etc. Then suddenly, one day I woke up, feeling weary of all these emotions. I went about too tired to be angry, too tired to complain. Even too tired to make an effort to do something. I became - emotionally dead. Ask Survivor and she will tell you exactly the same thing. There's something wrong here but I don't know how to begin describing it.

Stuck in front of my work station, part of Linkin Park song lyrics (I've been listening to Linkin Park of late) - 'Everything falls apart / even the people who never frown eventually break down'. Everytime someone stopped at my place, they'll ask me what it's all about. Yeah, it's about getting your spirit torn apart.

Hmm... Remember that Trump assignment which made my head nearly explode? I completed the report in 3 hours. That's because Trump got mad at me and said either he finds the report on his table the next day, or I can find another job the same day. Temptation. How could anyone dangle a carrot in front of me like that?

To all who have helped me to finish the report, contribute to the contents (my sister and Farah), and those who give me the encouragement (the Fab 5), thanks a million times :)

To him who accompanied me until the wee hour of early morning to finish the report, even though thousand of miles away, thank you. You cheered me up and made me felt less sleepy so I can finish the report.

What can I say? I am blessed to have them with me.

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Lesen 'P'

Throw some sparks, and lit some fireworks. I've passed my motorcycle driving test with perfect score!

It was unbelievable, becoz all of my practices ended up frustrating. I'd come home feeling hot, bothered, and mightily unimpressed. It took me 6 months to find the courage to actually sit for the exam. Can you believe that? 6 months? I passed my car driving test a century ago, and all this while, I didn't drive a car, but ride a bike. How come I did badly in my motorcycle driving practices?

I text-messaged Survivor about an hour before the test,

'Get a leave form on standby. I think Im going to flunk the test. I flunked my morning practices, anyway.'

Survivor replied, 'All the best of luck, Carn.' About 10 minutes after that, Jen gave the same message, 'Good luck!'

Encouraged by their wishes, I waited for my turn, a lone lady face amongst a sea of anxious-looking young boys. I peered to my left and saw that the boy next to me had 'Ulangan' stamped on his test form. I decided to ask for his advice.

'Dik, camane nak kasi tayar tak lepas garisan putih kat Bahagian 3 tu nanti?'
'Erm, akak kena amik tengah sket, lepas tu baru pegi tepi sket.'
I mentally noted this tips, praying hard that I could do this during the test.

Dark, brooding clouds began to appear as I sat on my motorbike (an old one which made me quite disappointed coz I prefered the newer bikes), wearing flourescent-colored jacket which they provided. Around my neck, I had number 25 as number 24 did his turn. When he was done, the examiner raised one hand and I started.

One circle, two circle, half a circle at the double roundabouts. Easy. Narrow 'bridge'. 7, 8, 9 seconds. OK. Right, left, right, left at the cones. None fell off. Passed. U-turned. Picked up speed, 30 km/h, 40 km/h. braked hard, heard the hind tyre screeched. Hand-braked. Stopped. Phew. That was the hardest part. The examiner gestured at me to move on. U-turned, slowed down, waved 3 times, stopped. Turned around. Raised one arm. Done, 2nd part without any flaws.

Now, the third part. I waited for the signal for me to start. Then I adjusted my helmet, the side mirrors, freed gear, started the engine, checked the lights, did the 4 movements left and right, went into gear one, turned to my right, signaled my left, and moved. The heart-stopping part. The part where the tyre should not hit the white line. I tried the boy's suggestion. It worked! I couldn't believe it, but I didn't wait to savour the moment, just continued on with the test until it was over. I had a big smile plastered on my face when I received the result. Perfect score. God be praised, finally!

Last night, I got my P driving license. An innocent-looking me a couple of years ago beamed at me. Ah. Freedom... Now I don't have to spend my weekend under hot, blistering sun trying to figure out how to pass the test.

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Keja, Arsenik & aku.

Dah lama tak menghapdet blog. Busy, malas, tak de benda nak citer... Entahla. Sekarang nih otak tengah bercelaru. Banyak sangat keja, tak tau nak start macamane. Kerja yang tak suka pun ada, keja yang kena push kat aku pun ada. Lepas nih nak transfer department lagi. Lagi menimbun keja. Keja, keja, keja.

Semalam menghadap Yang Dipertuan Agung sekali lagi. Arituh sebelum gi KL, pun mengadap baginda Sultan. Kitaorang kena titah beramai2. Hatta hamba yang tak berdosa pun kena jugak. Begitulah murkanya baginda.

Kali nih, baginda Sultan bagi keja yang paling aku tak peveret. Kalau aku suka keje tu, aku tak yah keja bawah dia, aku boleh dapat jawatan setaraf ngan dia. Tapi aku tolak, sebab aku memang tak suka keja tu. Alergik dan menyampah ngan keja tu.

Dia bagi aku deadline sampai arinih. Projek Trump tak de progres lagi. Aku macam nak pecah kepala pikir solution. Memang tak bley pikir sehari. Tapi nak pikir camane method nak complete projek nih pun dah sampai panas CPU aku. Semalam dah ‘hang’.

(Perbualan masa lunch semalam)
Ainie : You order apa?
Aku : Arsenik.
Ainie : Jangan memain la. Lamanya order you?
Aku: Kena amik dari Department of Chemical. Korang ingat diorang serve arsenik hari2?

Aku dan Jane bersuka-ria email:

Jane : So happy that I have been working since 6am and will be extended maybe until 9 or 10 or even longer. Plenty of time to finish my report by tomorrow morning... hurray...

Me: Waliowww! I share your enthusiasm in finishing your report. Your happiness in working overtime spilt over to our side and your email sparkled with so much laughter and joy. Do pursuit your objective to shine in your career path, dearie. Put out that negative attitude, and instil more positive feelings towards your learning experience. Remember, God is with you.

Jane: I can't wait to get more and more work to do... to kill my time effective and beneficially! I am going to force my boss and ex boss to squeeze me till I dry... It's going to be very enjoyable... Yuuuu... Huuu... those paperwork that piling on my table is never enough... I want more and more and more... I wanna be the best staff this year! The best contributing staff on earth that they ever hired... Hehehe... so damn happy... Hahaha... Got too excited due to lack of sleep and long hours of working... that's a thriller for me...

Me: WAAAAAAHHHH!!! So much joy! I'm blinded with tears now... It is so nice to see that you have changed your outlook on your job, dearie...

Jane: Hahahaha... Remember... we must always "fertilize" the system! :D :D I must do my part to make it happens...

Me: Yes, that's right dearie. Don't poison or attempt to bring down the system. Negative feelings will only feed arsenic into the whole organization. Familiarity breeds contempt, they say. I say pessimism breeds contempt. Contempt mutates into arsenic. Arsenic kills you. Instantly. Obsessed with arsenic oledi.

(Peringatan: Arsenik nih bukanlah sebab aku nih suicidal, tapi utk mengekspresi betapa menyampahnya aku ngan keja aku sekarang & aku nak exit sistem nih secepat mungkin.)

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