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Coffee Break With Me

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ms. Lonely

The good thing about blogging is you get to talk even though there's nobody listening (reading) anyway. By God's grace, you get an audience or two, who gave more two-hoots about the music or the absence of music in your blog rather than what you write (Ok, ok, I'm joking, guys...) That certainly outshines talking that produces sound from voicebox, because that requires another person to listen and right now I have none.

But, Carneyz (wave hands around in emphasis), you were the one who decided to leave. Which is too true. Everybody said no, don't go and I, the one who have other plans in mind choose to go anyway. So yeah, loser, don't talk about it anymore ok. We told you so. I told you so.

I am a loser in the sense that I lost the people who were there to listen to go to a place where (look around, one more time) ... Never mind.

The truth is, I'm lonely. My new office is great-looking, I've moved uptown bla2x, not that the people are not nice, they are, but they are just - different. I haven't laugh in that feel-good way, that laughter that comes from the guts and forces itself out until you have stitches.

Aini - 'You know ayah I pernah cakap I ketawa macam setan. Tulah, ikut u guys!'
Survivor - 'Apa pulak ikut kiteorang? Sejak bila kiteorang gelak macam setan?'
Carneyz - 'Entah. I ketawa cute apa? Jen, laugh in that evil way.'
Jen - 'Don't drop my water face.'

Tu tak termasuk sesi gelak ketawa ngan Kak Za.

'Mek, cuba tengok keta tu. Naper orang tu lambai2 kat awak?'
<>
'Kak Za! Hahaha! Tengok dieorang tak perasan keta kat depan dah jalan! Kan dah kena hon. Muahaha!'
'Memang sah dieorang bengong, kalau Kak Za jadi dieorang tak kuasa nak lambai kat awak. Dah la tak cun, tak ayu, brutal, bawak motor macam pelesit...'
'Nak balik ke tak? Kalau nak balik, diam.'
'Yalah, yalah. Hehe. Sedap pulak mengutuk awak nih.'

... Rindu la kat Mek Tot tu. Rindu sesangat.
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Monday, January 16, 2006

Bloody Monday

At that time of the month, trying to think how to revise a design for the 100th time, and at the same time enduring the feeling of your uterus flesh being ripped off (very descriptive, Carneyz, very da descriptive) is horrible.

...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! Somebody, anybody, give me an epidural anesthesia. I'm dying... Huhu...
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Saturday, January 14, 2006

The Memory of Fab 5

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Listen to this recorded voice
Every time I hear it makes me laugh
How did Aini come up with those thoughts
And why the hell does Jen sound like that?

And this is where I hang out
I think the fishes knew me inside out
I never knew how depressed is my life
I spent so much time on aqua therapy

This is where I went to work
Most of the time had better things to do
Attendance showed that I had two months red
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too much
Is this decision wise or I'm too rush
I tried to quit job without them knowin'
If I was them I wouldn't let me in.
Oooh3x...
Oh God, I...

Every memory of looking out the window
I had the recording played on my mp3
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Every memory of walking in the terminal
I found the picture of us in office till 4 am
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Remember the bowlin' arcade
Blew every ringgit down the bowling lane
Aini's folks hated it when we came home late
They say, 'what kind of girls did we raise?'

We used to come to Dilla's house to chill
And karaoke to every song we'd know
We said some day we'll get the neighbours knockin'
To ask us to pack up and go back home.

Chairman's the first friend I made
We talked about the States where he used to live
He had a couple of guy friends since then
The girls think he's very poyo now.
Ooo3x...
Oh God, I...

Every memory of looking out the window
I had the recording played on my mp3
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Every memory of walking in the terminal
I found the picture of us in office till 4 am
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

I miss that town, I miss the faces
You can't erase, you can’t replace it.
I miss it now, I can't believe it
So hard to stay, too hard to leave it.

If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the window
I had the recording played on my mp3
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Every memory of walking in the terminal
I found the picture of us in office till 4 am
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Listen to these recorded voices
Every time I do it makes me laugh
Every time I do it makes me...

Created : Carneyz :p
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Friday, January 13, 2006

Quick Thots

Before some genius with good intentions created Internet, I lived happily ever after without much requirements and expectations.

Then came Internet. My first attempt at emailing somebody (my school friend, Crono) was a laugh. I typed everything in the subject of the email and none for the body. He must'd been puzzled why my email content was empty but the subject was lengthy.

I graduated from email to Yahoo! Messenger. At first I started with ICQ. Or maybe it was IRC. I chatted with this anonymous fella who suddenly announced that he liked cough syrup. That left me horrified and I ended the session abruptly. Only years later, I braved another attempt at chatting thru Yahoo!. That was because Junaidix needed to teach me something about blogging. The rest was history.

Now everything needed to be done using Internet. So you can imagine how frustrated I felt when the network was disrupted this morning until afternoon. I can't do any work. I can't do anything. Life at work became miserable.

...

I think I'm becoming too dependent on Google.
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Thursday, January 05, 2006

The Anecdotes of Being Alienated

Day 3 at the foreign workplace. My miserable-ness has slightly been diverted because I am lost every day in my work schedule & designing stuff. My first day was quite bad. I was so used to hearing Jen's cheerful voice when she picked up the phone, rolling her eyes & making funny faces when the callers turned out to be freaking buggers. Or calling Ainie's name every time I saw her. Or listening to Roy bickering with the Legal Manager for fun. It was just - homely.

My previous work environment was colorful, to put it literally and also in context. When we were bored, we went window shopping or buy hotdog from upstairs. Or sit around, watching people. Or whatever. Sure, most of the time we were stressed out, but at least we got something to keep our minds away at times.

And the people. They are colleagues, neighbours, etc. We're like, this one suburban community working at the same company. So I knew you, you knew me, we knew everybody.

So urban KL is - urban.

At least by today I wasn't crying my eyes out anymore. The first day had been terrible. I had to bring my stuff to office by taxi, and then commuted home. The lrt was jam-packed. I missed commuting between Skudai-office when I can feel & smell fresh air while riding at 120km/h (ok, so I'm exaggerating, the air smelled like carbon monoxide, but at least it didn't smell like someone's armpits). Gob-smackingly delicious feeling. At that particular moment, back to the present, I was trapped among sweaty bodies exuding all kind of smell that made me feel dizzy. When I arrived at the lrt station, I had to wait for half an hour for the feeder bus to come.

It started to rain by then. I was looking up to the dismal sky, feeling totally lost, bewildered, sad. My mp3 player was playing a sad song. I was close to tears, I nearly bawled there & then.


I hate, hate, hate, hate this bloody city.


I wanted to turn off my mp3 player, in my pocket, when my fingers brushed against something. There it was again, turning up like some guardian angel. The 109 beads stringed together. How it ended up in my pocket when I was sure I had removed it I had no idea.


This time it didn't make me cry. I clasped it with both hands, feeling my heartbeat returned to normal. This is like a talisman, but it's not and I don't believe it is. But oh boy, it reminds me that back in JB, there are friends who still wanna make me smile.


Erm. Thanks Ainie. Thanks Jen. Thanks Layla & Pakcik & Kak Za & Survivor & Chairman and all that. You know, I'm glad that I made that voice recording even though Jen sounded like Evil Queen. But yeah, that helps a lot.
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Just Call Me Carneyz | From Sarawak and Staying in Kuala Lumpur | Lifestyle Blogger | Traveller Blogger | Mom of Two Lovely 'K' | Blogger since March 2004

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