Monday, November 28, 2011

Rantings of a Mommy

Okay, I'm going to admit something. I hate BabyTV. But I love it (for Khayla's sake). And I hate it too. Strange, eh? Khayla only stops wriggling and resisting any attempts to feed her when the channel is turned on. She'll go into this zombie mode - glassy eyes absorbing the Hippa Hippa Hey or Oliver the Discoverer or whatever, and her mouth automatically opening without even seeing the spoon reaching her mouth. Then she'll chew chew chew (or if there's a baby song playing, her mouth will stay still full of food, and when the song is over then only she'll start chewing) without even tasting the food.

If I'm in my easy-peasy Mommy mode, I simply can't thank BabyTV enough for keeping my precious occupied while I hurriedly feed her, or zoom around the house getting things done. But most of the time, I prefer that she crawls around, exploring and learning rather than become a tv addict. So, there. The story of my love-hate feeling with BabyTV.

Talking about Khayla, she has been feeling rather unwell for the past few days. It started when I had to travel overnight to KK. I thought it'd be fine - she had started on formula milk a couple of weeks now so no issue of milk supply like last time. In fact, when we were Skype-ing, Khayla did not even bother to look at me frantically waving and calling out her name. She was just busy with the remote control or the tv console (do you know that babies her age are busier than a CEO?).

But that night, Khayla was down with fever and the next day, she was lethargic and slept the whole day at the nursery (according to her Daddy of course). Apparently Khayla is still having problems to detach herself from Mommy. So there goes our long weekend plan. When Khayla is sick, she changes into this overbearing child - who can't be left alone, needs to be cuddled all the time, needs Mommy's breast all the time, and to put it frankly, she becomes a whiny and tearful baby when she's awake.

I love my baby very much nothing in this world will make me want to part from her, but when she's in this mode I wished that daycare is open during weekend so I can get some needed rest. Do you know how stressful is Mommy's occupation, cupcake? Can't you just give me a 5 minutes break?

By the way, if you are wondering how then I get to write down this whole entry, she's currently having a nap (praying it will be for a couple of hours, but she just coughs and whines and stays quiet so probably her Daddy is lying down beside her till she falls asleep again) and I'm a really fast typist, so there. Phew. Oh yes, I haven't had any breakfast because I was busy trying to catch a moment here and there to fix her breakfast, do laundry and fold clothes. Let alone do my assignment or revision for an upcoming quiz next weekend.

Take a deep breath and try to do one thing at a time. Brunch first. Then study (if Khayla is still asleep). Toodles!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Where weekends are my favourite days of the week

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I had been keeping this too long in the draft mode that I forgot about this entry. Time to get it out for memory's sake ;) World, cherish your family!
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I had had a good weekend these couple of weeks. A good weekend means quality time I spent with both Suami Terchenta and our precious little baby.

To me, no matter how crappy the week had felt like, I must put in efforts to make my little girl happy. Surprisingly it has been easy to put away any ill-feelings I harboured throughout the week and don my 'World's Fun-nest Mommy' mode.

Just seeing the joy and happiness in my baby's eyes made me forget about work and instead concentrated to live in the moment watching my baby grow in front of my very own eyes.

Last week for example we brought Khayla to Snowalk, i-City in Shah Alam for some fun family outing. Khayla being the cold weather fan baby, didn't complain being subjected to minus 0 degrees but it was obvious it was not her cuppa tea either. She hardly smiled, maybe because she found it impossible to reach out to the snow, being wrapped up in multiple layers of clothing:

She was nevertheless fascinated with the lights and I was pretty sure she would grab those lit-up ice carvings if she could free her hands from the thick jackets.

Before we went home, we stopped by Fruitty-tutty for some ice-cream treat. Khayla enjoyed herself in the shop because she got to sit on a grown-up chair:

It was probably the highlight of her trip, much better than the freezing Snowalk or the lights walk we took later.

This week, we didn't go anywhere but we brought her down to the swimming pool for some splashing fun. The last time she went into the pool was when she was 4 or 5 months old. I brought her toy duck and she loved chasing after the duck in the water.

Unfortunately Khayla outgrown her water instinct and she had learnt that water could be nasty. So when I tried to put her on her back so she could float, she wriggled and stiffened her body. She also tried to lift her head up because she hated water going into her ears. There goes her water baby nature...

Today, we brought her for brunch at PappaRich nearby our house. She enjoyed her bun and even shrieked along to Celine Dion belting out her evergreen songs. Khayla could be really boisterous too.

In the evening I brought her to play at the playground. To summarise, she loves the swing and hates everything else. We also brought her to visit Che Mat's family and she loved Kak CT's boys, and vice versa.

Truth is, I wished we could have a lot more weekends like what we had this week. C'est la vie people!

Parenting dilemma

Dear Internet,

Today I scolded my 10-month old baby. She was playing near the TV and tried to pull out the Astro card. I called her name several times but she was preoccupied in the way a 10-month old usually is. In the end, I said loudly and in a sharp tone, 'HEPP!!'

Khayla was startled. A moment later, she started to wail in fear - she has recognised when Mommy gets angry Mommy's voice will be scary and loud. It's so disheartening to see my little baby has started to fear me. It took her Daddy to pujuk and calm her down.

This was not the first time I showed anger to her. Yesterday when she refused to eat her meal and threw her spoon down, I scolded her. I pretended to hit her food tray, setting her in tears. I put Khayla on the floor and when she crawled to me, I refused to pick her up. She sobbed and then reached out to my hand - as if begging me to forgive her and also make everything fine again for her. I let her cry for half a minute before I took her tiny hand in mine. When I think about the way I punished my baby for being exactly who she is - a baby, I feel terrible and awful.

Not enough with that, I threatened her emotionally by saying bye-bye when she refused to listen to me calling her name. She knows bye-bye means I'm going away, which she hates. So she immediately looked up to me to make sure I wasn't. I knew then even when it seems harmless to trick her, it means for a second her heart was stricken at the thought of Mommy leaving her like Mommy always does in the morning on weekdays.

Dear Khayla,

Mommy wants you to know how deeply sorry I am for being a terrible mother who instead of showing you the right behaviour, punishes you through scoldings and emotional conflicts. I'm sorry baby. You're just a 10-month old baby who is still discovering your surrounding and has little understanding of the concept of rights and wrongs. All you understand is how much Mommy and Daddy love you and anything that contradicts with that knowledge of yours are surely frightening to you.

I love you to bits, my daughter.

Full of regrets Mom,
Me

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Jenjalan di Sasana Kijang

Weekend lepas entah kenapa aku tetiba rajin. Rajin pergi kelas (itu terpaksa, sebab kelas ganti!). Rajin basuh baju, memasak, mop lantai, jaga anak, blablabla. Wah, isteri sapa la ni kan? *mata bersinar-sinar penuh bersemangat waja*

Untuk menambahkan tahap kerajinan minggu ni, aku rajin juga mengajak Kak Ret pergi berfoya-foya. Ecey. Takde la berfoya-foya tapi berjalan-jalan je. Ekceli, nak ajak shopping di Sogo sebab nak sambar cadar dan tuala mandi baru sempena kedatangan family aku minggu ni dan juga ada clearance sales.

Tapi alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, Kak Ret terus la mengajak pulak ke Sasana Kijang lepak-lepak di situ. So apa lagi, tak penah lagi jejak kaki ke situ walaupun sebelah dengan UM City Campus tempat menuntut ilmu. Lagipun En Suami Terchenta ada kuiz keesokannya, maka aku pun merasakan beliau perlu bersendirian supaya dapat konsentret belajar untuk kuiz itu. Wasey, bertuah tak En Junaidix dapat isteri cam aku? Hehehe *jeling En Suami Terchenta*

So melepak la kami berempat di Sasana Kijang. Eh, berempat? Siapakah dua orang lagi tu? Aku, Kak Ret dan...

Shai dan Khayla

Jeng3x! Tu dia... bakal pengantin yang diimport khas untuk menjaga anak aku, Khayla. Tengok la betapa suker nya Khayla duduk bersandar di pangkuan Uncle Shai yang empuk. AHAHAHAHAHA! Shai, aku gurau je ye. Ko jangan marah pulak. Aku pun spesies empuk gak *nangis ke-sejuta kali terkenangkan zaman anak dara yang fewittt*

Ahem. Aku harap tiada sesiapa yang terluka melihat gambar ni. Saja nak tunjuk pemandangan di belakang je. Dua orang dewasa dan seorang bayi ini tiada sebarang pertalian darah mahupun ikatan ye. Model hiasan gambar semata-mata.

Camtu la suasana di Kafe Sasana Kijang. Best sebab moden. Makanan pun murah. Terbelalak mata sebab spaghetti bolognese cuma RM5.50. Kat KLCC ada??? Jangan harap.

Anyway dah puas mengalas perut, kami pun beransur ke muzium di Tingkat 2. Muzium duit kekdahnya.

Shai tengah usha mesin interaktif tentang sistem pertukaran barter sebelum orang terfikir nak buat mata wang

Cengginilah muzium zaman sekarang. Interaktif. Barulah ada orang nak datang. Tapi sebab Sasana ni baru bukak, jadi tak ramai orang tau pasal muzium ni. Rasa kesian pun ada sebab muzium yang begitu canggih tapi lengang. Tak buat promotion ke?

Aku terkagum-kagum dengan mata wang pitis ni. Cuba imagine bawak duit cenggini ke pasar, mesti ada alasan beli beg oversize nak taruk serumpun duit syiling ni. Setiap kali nak guna, patahkan sekeping syiling bagi kat makcik jual kuih. Dah abis syiling, buang ranting. Cenggitu ye?

Ada penerangan tentang setiap versi duit syiling dari setiap negeri. Rasa bangga pulak sebab duit syiling Sarawak zaman Brooke dulu yang paling banyak variasi - ada yang bentuk segi empat, bulat, bulat ada lubang kat tengah, heksagon dan macam-macam ada!

Masih ingatkan anda masa kita gunakan duit kertas cenggini? Bila letak sebelah-menyebelah, kiteorang sedar yang bukan setakat nilai duit yang makin mengecik, saiz duit kertas pun makin kecik. Dulu duit RM50 25% lebih besar dari duit RM50 sekarang. Mungkin in the future tak pakai duit kertas lagi, tapi pakai virtual currency je? Hmm... Renung-renungkan.

Oh, cenggini rupa duit syiling siri ketiga yang akan diperkenalkan Januari tahun depan. Canggih. I loike! :) Cuma, sebelum bagi duit tukar 20 sen tu, kene double triple check tak terbagi 50 sen sebab saiz dekat2 syiling 20 sen sekarang je. Kan ke dah cakap duit sekarang makin kecik??

Lastly, ni ialah gambar Kak Ret di muzium. Wah, ada gambar korang terpampang di muzium? Tak de kan?Dahsyat ye Kak Ret. Tapi kan, bukan ke yang kat muzium tu cuma ada spesies yang dah pupus, expired dan tinggal kenangan je? Kak Ret, jangan sentaps! Gurau je ye! Hehehehe... *tetau esok jugak Kak Ret datang balik ke Sasana dan cabot semua gambar dia*

Anyway, best jugak sekali-sekala spend weekend gi muzium. Banyak benda baru yang diperolehi. Khayla siap tertido-tido dalam baby sling sebab aircond yang dingin. Hehe. Apapun, thanks Kak Ret sebab belanja makan dan ajak kiteorang ke sini :) A different experience, tapi still tetap fun!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Letter to My Child: Khayla (10 months)

Dear Khayla,

Today you turned 10 months old. Altogether now - yeaayy!! For that, I bought you this walker as a changing month gift or more due to the fact that you are officially over with your baby-ish walker. You know, the one that you used to spend delightful hours zooming around the house before you can actually stand up on your own. Girl, you need to learn to show some gratitude, OK?

All grin at the newly-bought toy

My dearest daughter,

As you grow up, there are a few life lessons that I want you to remember - lesson #1: when you decide to descend from the bed to the floor, please go down LEGS first. That way you'll have less risk of knocking your head on the cold, tiled floor.

Yes, hang on like that and then go down on your feet

Lesson #2: I'm always with you even though you can't see me. I know you don't believe me. Every time I put you down so I can attend to chores you start to cry. It's not just 'I don't like to be on the floor' cry, it's 'where are you going? Why are you leaving me?? Are you abandoning me? Don't go, I'll miss you!!!' kinda cry. Your little body just froze on the spot but your cry goes an octave higher with each second that I'm leaving you. By the time I was ready to get you (a minute later), there's a puddle of tears, saliva and snot on the floor, and the front of your shirt was drenched wet with all of them. Of course, if I was gone for more than 2 minutes, you will then creep to wherever I was and then grabbed my pants and never let go. Sweetie, it may be endearing to see you so attached to me, but it gets frustrating when I have to do prepare meals or do laundry or maybe just to get your drink. Khayla, for a 10-month old baby, you are certainly a drama queen. A cute drama queen.

See, Mommy always with you Khayla!

Ok, I think I'll just stop at two. See, too many info, it'll be information overload to you. Like for instance, the day I was trying to read a picture book to you. You look dispassionately at the black and white picture of a cat, and then you turned to another page without even hearing the story of the cat. Just looking at the cat is enough. So it is with food to you nowadays. You used to LOVE eating, darling! Now, you ate a few tiny spoonfuls of porridge and then you turned your face away or made irritating noises if I tried to make you finish your meal.

Speaking about irritating noises, this month I learnt that the meaning to the phrase 'like taking candy from a baby' is a hoax. An outright lie! Ask your Daddy who has faced shrieks, screams and tantrums every time he tried to take away the TV remote control from you. It's not easy at all! Just simply handing a substitute is not enough - we need to persuade how the substitute is wayyy better than what you are currently holding. If you are not convinced, then forget it. You are never surrendering anything that we want.

For the past two weeks, your health was a little bit on the off side. It started with a really high fever (reaching 40 degrees Celsius!) and wham! Two days later you had small, red, angry rashes all over your little body:

Sick little baby

You had measles! To make it worse, I was really busy that week, going on outstation but luckily I could bring you with me because Grandma came all the way from Bintulu to babysit you. I know I should be grateful that the nasty contagious measles had you at this small age but still, it pained me to see you so uncomfortable. Despite being sick, you stayed cheerful most of the time I was around because hey, Mommy's around :)

You also grew more teeth this month. Teeth that you found amazing to grind and it made me grimaced each time you did that. Hopefully you'll outgrow that habit of yours, Khayla.

Perhaps at this point you are wondering whether I have anything good to say about you. Of course there is, munchkin! Plenty that I can't list all of them here. But here are some of the stronger ones:

1. You easily warm up to people and once you like somebody, you show affection easily :)

2. You are quick to imitate my actions so it's easy to teach you by demonstrating to you. For example, you can wave bye-bye at 8 months old. But only to someone you really REALLY like.

3. You love my porridge compared to instant cereal. Yeay!

4. You can reach out to the edge of anything and then stand up by pulling your body up. You can cruise as well this month.

5. You love to babble. You love striking up conversations. I'm never bored whenever I'm with you.

6. Each time you snuggle to me, you put your head on my chest adoringly. Aww...

7. You are cute with a capital 'CUTE'. Yes, even when you are losing weight from all those active moves standing up and cruising from furniture to furniture.

8. You don't complain when you eat veggie.

9. You have loads of sense of humor. Today you pushed your bottle off your tray, which Daddy deftly caught and put it back on the tray. You sneaked a quick look at Daddy, and pushed it again and each time Daddy caught the bottle, you squirmed in giggles, which set us giggling too. You repeated this as long as we laugh because you know we find it cute and funny.

10. You love me with all your heart, it shows whenever your eyes lit up at the sight of me, at the big hug you give me and the way you throw your body just to be in my arms.

And I love you too, my sugar and honey-honey.

Love,

Mak