Fishy Day

There's a fish in the so-thought empty tank. It has gone so thin it's almost transparent. I only noticed the fish when I walked past the tank and it made me stop there for a whole 5 minutes, transfixed. There's a starved fish in the so-thought empty tank.
Anne tried to feed it fish food. However, the fish food is bigger than the fish itself. And it shrank to the bottom of the tank, visibly frightened. I can't help but remember Nemo. This fish is so like Nemo.

By the end of the day, Anne, Jane, Aiman and I were crowding at the fish tank, looking at the horribly terrified Nemo (I decided to call it Nemo). I have to do something. The fish is clearly not eating anything that we feed it, so I want to give it the dried worms we have at home for our fish. I decided to put the fish in a flask. In that way, I can bring it back home and try to feed it. The fish is thoroughly traumatized and the sight is a distress to me. I never liked cruelty of any sorts. I am beginning to hate whoever brought the fish in and then subsequently forgot to feed it.

In case any of you wondered how today had gone by, I have this conclusion. It's been wacky. I've been scolded since morning, and by afternoon, I got so tired of it that I don't care anymore. Thus, I began to divert my attention to a little, frightened and traumatized fish which is currently swimming at the bottom of my flask.

The Sales Manager, on his way out, probably thought that I've gone bonkers coz I talked to my flask. To my surprise, I noticed that I am not feeling pressurized anymore. Nemo seems to need looking after, and I am not feeling victimized anymore, but feeling more like a protector.

I'm not asking much. I just want to be understood. If I can't get this, then I will seek to understand. Someone else. Like Nemo, for instance. No point in getting hurt, isn't it?

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Religion Tolerance vs. Religion Understanding

I'm surprised. Really.

Malaysians are so superficial in claiming that they understand each other. Recent comments by certain individuals in newspaper reveal that Malaysians have yet to reach that level of understanding. We merely tolerate each other.

I'm not criticizing anyone here. I'm just making a remark on what I found about attitudes among Malaysians regarding this oh-so-sensitive issue. I feel that there's more that needs to be done to make Malaysians become what they really want to be - truely Malaysians.

I'm making this statement because last night, I went to my friend's house because she's having a birthday party. I went there with a couple of my Malay friends, and a Chinese friend. Our friend who's throwing this birthday bash is an Indian girl. So you get the perfect scenario here - 3 Malay girls who are Moslems, one Chinese who is a Buddhist, and a family of Indians who are Christians. We are joined by a few Indian friends who are Hindus as well.

My Indian friend has invited her Christian prayer group as well. At the start of the birthday party, one of them got everybody to introduce themselves, with an additional comment or introduction. After the introduction, he announced something that made the non-Christians looked among themselves, at loss.

The man had invited everybody to join in singing praises to the Lord. That made the visitors of other beliefs rather awkward as to what they ought to do in the mean time. As much as I respect their religion, I know that I'm not supposed to join in the singing but I could just stand up with the rest to show respect and to wait until the singing is over. The rest had never encountered anything like this before and had no idea what to do. In the end, everybody just stood up as well.

The same thing happened when our friend blew off the candles on the birthday cake. Again, they had another prayer for her and prayer before eating. I couldn't help noticing that some people took care not to eat the meat and chicken served, despite the assurance by our friend's mother that the food is halaal. I wonder how they are going to survive outside Malaysia.

I took the word of my friend's mother and proceeded to enjoy the food. After all, I've been in the same situation in the past, eating food offered by my non-Muslim friends. My only question before I took the food is this - 'Did you buy the chicken from supermarket at the halal section / buy the chicken from a Muslim butcher?' If they are not sure, then I would decline the food in a respectful way. If otherwise, then I trust their words and cease worrying about it. I believe they are not out to be disrespectful towards me as to feed me something they know I should not take.

In the end, I guess this is not their fault. It's the fault of the world leaders who are making everybody paranoid of everyone else. When a certain religious group are being misunderstood, they couldn't help misunderstanding everyone else. Somehow, the question of who should first begin the first step towards gaining more understanding should not be raised. Instead, everybody should take the step and play their role. After all, each and everyone craves for peace and harmony. Just like you and I.

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Planning A Journey Home

I decided that I couldn't wait until my leave application is approved before booking tickets to go back home for Aidilfitri. Wise move.

When I called MAS ticketing agency, the person politely informed me there are no more flights from JB to Kuching on 11, 12 and 13 November. I was flabbergasted.

'Not even business class?' I asked after briefly doing a mental calculation on how it would affect my dietary two months from now on.

'Sorry, miss. All booked out.'

Alternative plans. I have to find an alternative plan. So I queued up at the Air Asia counter. Luckily on the 12 November, there is a seat (one seat left!) that I immediately am willing to pay for. When the person behind the counter told me the price, my jaw crashed on the counter.

'Am I mistaken?' I took a step back to look at the signboard on the counter. Yup, Air Asia.

'Why is the price almost like taking a MAS flight?' I asked, incredulously.

'Well...' the person took a deep breath, ready to launch into a lenghty explanation when I cut him.

'Right, right. Just give me the ticket.' I shoved a stash of money (boohooohooo!!) across the counter. Yikes. Balik Raya affair has always hurt my purse.

The first half of the journey has settled. It's time to find out the fare for the journey coming back to JB. I went to MAS counter again.

Luck was on my side. Luckily, on the 17th November, there are plenty of seats left. Even on SuperSaver package! I immediately bought those tickets. Finally! I decided to call my mom to convey this good news.

'Guess what mom? I'm going back for raya!'

'Oh? Good! I thought I lost you to some Peninsular guy over there.'

'Momm....' Didn't realize how long I've set foot home. I decided to check whether I still remember how to speak in Melanau.

'Kak susah ati ka'au inan... pulik keau raya ih... (Don't you worry, mom. I'm coming home this raya) .' I assured her. My mom just laughed.

I wish that I could go back this fasting month. To set foot once more in the Darul Hidayah mosque, to sweet memories of Ramadhan, to past live untouched, unlived.

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Mood Swings

I'm bogged with so many documents right now. Finally I have the time to sit down and sort them out. Had just been reprimanded by my boss for not making a copy of an important list and filing it. I didn't know it was important anyway. And I don't care. Not today.

I'm feeling rather unwell, everyone notices that. I slept in the bus going to work, came into the office walking at a slow pace unlike usual when I prefer to stride, and speaking monotonously. As I'm typing now, I'm having a fever and a burning sore throat. It doesn't help that I did not have a good sleep last night. I kept waking up and drifting into vague dreams again.

Thankfully, my cramp had slowed down and I'm only having a mild pain. 

NOTE TO THAT SOMEONE: Don't bother to contact me tonight. I'm not even in recovering stage. I'm not in the mood at all.

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In a Nutshell

I had a busy day today.

I organized and attended a project meeting. I brought two visitors on a tour and succeeded in convincing them to consider doing a business with us, managed to win a fight with a difficult supplier about order delivery, and gave instruction over the phone while running to meet another supplier to go and have a site visit.

In a nutshell, I have a very busy day today. On top of a stomach pain, crappy mood, and fighting the urge to break down and cry because my hormones wanted me to cry.

Now all I wanted to do is crawl in bed and sleep. Hopefully when I wake up, I'm back in university, late for class again.

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