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Coffee Break With Me

Hotel & Travel Reviews and Many More.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Welcome, 2005

2005 is just a number. Is just a year. Is nothing that meaningful.

Don't get me wrong, people. I don't hate new years. I just don't think it's a big deal. So we grow older (age-wise). So there's a wrinkle or two on our face. However, some people are still considered young at heart despite these facts. Life still goes on.

The only thing that matters with each new year, is each birthday. I'm going to be 23 this year. When I was six, I couldn't imagine being 23. When I'm approaching 23, I feel no difference than when I was six. I still think chocolate rules the day, that playing see-saw and swinging high in the playground are fun. When I go for evening walks, I still look out for dandelions by the roadside to blow at the tiny stalks so the wind will carry them all away. At 23, I still do what I did when I was six (except drink from milk bottle).

Looking back, I guees that I've accomplished half of what I dreamed about when I was six:

To board an aeroplane. I used to look up on the sky and wished that I could go for a ride on a plane. Now I travel on air every time I go back.

To go to university. I wanted to go to university back then because I liked to imitate everything that my father did. 15 years later, I graduated.

To go to the land of 'mat salehs'. I had a mat saleh playmate when I was small. Though we couldn't understand each other, we still enjoyed games together. When I watched tv, I told my sister that I wanted to go their place someday. I did end up in Down Under and Cape Town years later. I still wish I could go to Europe someday.

The other half that every 6-year-olds liked to pretend would be more materialistic in nature:

To own my own car and house. Still working on that.

To have enough money to shop for my own clothes. Despite my tomboy-ish nature (I wore shorts and t-shirt instead of baju kurung on hari raya) when I was six, I used to look longingly at frilly dresses that my parents couldn't afford to buy for each daughter of theirs. So I wished that I could have my own ringgit and sen to buy my own clothes when I grow up. I liked to shop for clothes with my best friend when we got our scholarship money (ehem, apart from using the money to buy books of course!), but when I do earn my own money, I develop this ridiculous idea that money shouldn't be wasted on new clothes every time I receive my salary (Note: Ainie, there's nothing wrong in shopping for clothes every time we receive our paycheque, don't get me wrong here :p).

To go to Mecca. A six-year-old wanted to go to Mecca? Yup, for some strange reasons, I was fascinated with the age-old rituals of pilgrimage. I read children's books on Prophet (peace be upon him) and how it was in Mecca, and I thought that God is in Mecca. Six-year-old me wanted to go to the holy land, and soon-to-be-23-this-June me still hope to be there one day.

To have a grand wedding. OK, 6-year-old did wish to have a grand wedding on top of a sea cliff, wearing white gown, sauntering beneath a beautiful arch, complete with perfect weather and all else romantic stuffs a 6-year-old can imagine of. At 23, that idea changed drastically after considering how much a grand wedding would cost. Someday (Insha-Allah), I intend to get married but in a simple occasion in a mosque at home, wearing a simple wedding outfit of baju kurung (no kebaya, no matching songket, just a simple baju kurung would do) that wouldn't be outrageously expensive, and a kenduri syukur afterwards (no majlis bersanding and cake-cutting ceremony, please). The most important thing I hope, that I will get married to the man I love and would be capable to love me in return, forever.
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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Woke up at 6.30 am today although last nite crashed home quite late after a girls' nite out watching scary movie and gossipping during dinner. Just sat, still under my warm blanket, blinking in the dark, trying to remember something.

Oh yeah... I'm on leave. No work. Get back to sleep. I fell back onto my pillow. Snore...

Woke up at 9.30 am. Pretty early, considering that I'm not working today. I couldn't sleep, so I just rolled off my mattress, and went to shower. Couldn't decide what to do today. We were supposed to go on a holiday - us four. Since we can't go to beaches anymore for fear of tsunami, we decided to call it off. Cancel. Now what?

Ate breakfast, chit-chatting with my two housemates who were on their day off. I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. OK, I have to fetch my bike which I'd left at my office. So around noon, I went to my office.

I entered office, chatting on the phone with Anne, wearing extremely casual (jeans & denim jacket) that everybody stared.

'Afternoon, everyone.' Cheerfully greeted everyone before heading toward's Jane's & Adri's room. Then I did the unthinkable. I decided to spend my hols. WORKING.

Yup, Carneyz the workaholic. Tsk, tsk. How pathetic. So, ciao.
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Hectic

Things are rather hectic this morning as I decided that I would have to take things into my hands to fast-track a lot of pending jobs.

915 am - Brief progress discussion with Project Engineer on signages' issue.

Me : Yeah, really like to know what's the current status. It should be up there a month ago.
Him: That, but they are giving a lot of excuse.
Me: When's scheduled delivery?
Him: Err... a week ago?
Me: Tsk. How bothersome. Are we going to see the Director and get slaughtered for failing to meet this delivery timeframe?
Him: I'll check with them but the PO mentioned 2 weeks' delivery and by this weekend, if they are not responding, I guess we're legally free to replace them.
Me: Yeah, good. I'll update the progress?
Him: Yes. Monday.

950 am - Internet kiosk discussion with Systems & Network Administrator.

Me: Are we installing anything? What's the progress?
Him: Waiting for the booth design.
Me: But can't we get the contractor to do that as well? We're not engaging ID to come in.
Him: No. Basically, we have the PCs, but we don't have kiosks in place.
Me: Well, constructing a new one would mean more investment. Why not just use the current setting? It looks bad that we're promising something, but we still haven't put anything there.
Him: OK. But as for the clocking system, we have to purchase that.
Me: I have to check whether it's necessary.
Him: OK.

1015 am - Ad agency presenting a proposal. Impressive. Jen and I whispered at the back of the room and giggled :p Shessh... Girls, we're in a meeting...

1100 am - Creative agency came.

Me: That would be 10,000 pieces of brochures?
Them: Yeah.
Me: What happened to the bromide?
Them: Err. (Nasir got out his phone) I'll call Didiz.
Me: I've another job. Signage.... bla2.. propose the material... bla2... measurement, we'll go upstairs and estimate... bla2... as soon as possible. Is Monday ok?
Them: OK (each scribbled in planner)

1130 am - Website. In email. For review.

1200 pm - PR keyed in wrong. Have to issue new PR. Done.

1230 pm - Corporate kit ready.

100 pm - Coffee Break... :)
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Like a Woman Scorned

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

-William Congreve, The Mourning Bride , 1697


- Ironic. Isn't it? You once loved someone and then one day, you woke up hating that person like you've never loved before. I remember the Prophet (peace be upon him) has this advice to all,

'Love each other moderately, because you might hate each other one day;
and hate each other moderately, because you might love each other one day'.

The religion teaches us to do everything, to feel everything, moderately. We might never know when our heart turns the other way and all the things that we said about someone we hate will end up upon ourselves, will eat us up.

In the end, it's just another game played in this world.-

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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Unsettled.

I feel complain-ish.

I remember feeling this emotion only when I was in debating community. When I first joined debate, I got on the wrong end of one of the senior debaters and somehow I bore a gloomy impression on debate meetings till I decided to end my debating life prematurely (as Rajan claimed). I loved debating, but I always felt eggy whenever I was around anyone in debating community. Then something happened, and I swore off debating forever.

Then I resumed my happy-as-a-lark life towards the end of my university life. I was rarely down, I was forever laughing. Seriously, one of my friends even made a joke on how easily I erupted into a hearty laughter at the slightest thing that amused me.

Only when I started work at my current job, I seemed to shed the happy person I was to become someone somber, always worried, always keeping a distant between myself and the surroundings.

I am not happy but I don't know what causes this unhappiness. My pay cheque is better than any of my friends, I have free access to the Internet, I've met good friends whom made life even more bearable.

I feel like my work is meaningless. The inter-department relations are so exhausting that I dread having to ask for their help. My work is so menial that I don't have to use my brains to do it and here I worked hard at graduating with a first-class degree only to spend my time preparing souvenirs, ordering stuffs, hauling boxes of things around, writing memos, processing payment, photocopying...

The whole programme defeats its purpose that I believe none of us find this job interesting anymore. I think this is what they call boredom at work. Burnout. I don't know.

I feel so exploited.
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Just Call Me Carneyz | From Sarawak and Staying in Kuala Lumpur | Lifestyle Blogger | Traveller Blogger | Mom of Two Lovely 'K' | Blogger since March 2004

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