Sorry For Love (Celine Dion)

Forgive me for the things

That I never said to you

Forgive me for not knowing

The right words to say, to prove

That I will always be

Devoted to you and me

And if you can't feel that in my love

Then I'm sorry for not giving you enough

But I'm not sorry for my love

I'm not sorry for my touch

The way I made your hands

Tremble and my heart rush

I would do it all again

Wouldn't take back a thing, no

'Cause with you I've lived

A thousand lives in one

And I could never be

I could never be

Sorry for love.

Well, maybe there've been times

That I let you down

Looking back on all those moments

I know that I should have found

The best of me for you

And now I will promise to

And if you don't see that in my eyes

Then I'll be

Sorry for the rest of my life

But I'm not sorry for my love

I'm not sorry for my touch

The way I made your hands

Tremble and my heart rush

I would do it all again

Wouldn't take back a thing, no

Cause with you I've lived

A thousand lives in one

But I could never be

I could never be Sorry for love

And we all make mistakes

No matter how hard we try

But hearts can only break

When sorry comes all around

- Blueberry cheesecake. Blueberry Cadbury. Yahoo! Messenger. Van Helsing. Chicken rice. Boat ride. Fountain show. Windstruck. Singapore. Shrek. Ice-skating. McD's. KFC. Bowling. Pahang. MySpace. Starbuck. Friendster. Chocolate cake. Helmet. Tram. Kancil. Iced Milo. LRT. Baju kurung. Kungfu Hustle. PGL. Raincoat. Celcom. 017. pingpong. Jogging. Titiwangsa. Straw. Jeans. Langsat tree. 'Manggis' tree. Kek lapis. Nasi daging merah. KLIA. National Treasure. Mashi-maru.-

... laughter. Restoran Noor. I'm not sorry for all these. The sweetest of memory. The sweetest of time. Thank you.

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Lirik Lagu Babe (KRU)

Perasan tak muram air muka?

Eh...mungkin tidak kerana ku dah kau lupa

Jauh di mata....apatah lagi hati

Riuh tetap sunyi bila kau bersendiri

Oh patutlah lagu dah tak semerdu

Puputan bayu dah tak senyaman dulu

Ku pasti kerana tiada pelengkapnya

Ketiadaanmu dirasa.

Jangan serkap jarang hidup ku bahagia

Memang berat tak ku nafikannya

Walau cintamu rapuh dan keyakinan runtuh

Dengar kubicara.

Oh babe, ku masih menyintai

Oh babe, ku masih setia

Pilu...lara...hiba dijiwa

Kelabu di kalbuku

Oh babe, kumakin terseksa

Oh babe, kumakin terasa haru

Bisakan disembuh andainya kau disisiku

Oh babe ku masih perlukanmu

Sehari dua mungkin bolehku harung

Masuk ketiga berlewah kutermenung

Selepas seminggu fikiran bercelaru

Meruap-ruap bimbangku

Ke sana-sini terpinga tercari-cari

Petanda kau masih menyayangi

Walau cinta kau pudar, kan kuteruskan jua

Rontaku di jiwa.

-To past memories cherished. I love you.-

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Chaotic Organized

Chaotic organized = berkecamuk tersusun. Kata2 nih paling sesuai menggambarkan keadaan mental dan fizikal aku la nih. Bila mental aku berkecamuk, aku akan menjadi orang yang paling suka berkemas dan menyusun persekitaran aku supaya aku letih dan berhenti berfikir.

Sabtu lepas, aku pindah ke bilik baru. 3 orang housemates dah pindah, jadi akhirnya ada bilik kosong untuk aku masuk. Memang lega, sebab selama hampir setahun, aku cuma tido kat ruang tamu.

Hampir setahun lepas grad. Cepatnya masa berlalu.

Aku beli kipas warna ungu n aku bercadang nak beli langsir warna biru supaya matching ngan cadar n comforter aku. Aku tak de katil (maklum la orang bujang) tapi masa aku dok kolej dulu aku beli carpet yang murah giler (under RM50), jadi nampak berseri sket bilik aku.

Hujung minggu dihabiskan ngan mengemas dan mengatur bilik aku. Biasalah aku. Bila fikiran berkecamuk, aku melepaskan geram dengan mengemas. Aku mengetuk, menyapu, mengemop, menyusun, membasuh dan mencuci segala macam benda arituh. Asal bersepah je, aku kemas. Asal kotor je, aku cuci. Asal berdebu, aku lap. Yang penting aku dapat mengalih perhatian daripada fikiran yg berkecamuk tuh.

It's a way to let out the pent-up energy so I wouldn't feel anything but exhaustion.

Bukan setakat bilik aku kemas, aku cuci toilet yg memang dah bersih. Aku berus dinding, lantai, sinki, toilet seat, toilet bowl dan pintu (pintu pun tak tinggal!) sampai semerbak bau dan putih melepak.

Lepas tu aku cuci baju yang sehelai dua dlm baldi. Then aku sapu rumah, mop lantai, cuci pinggan, nak bersihkan dapur tapi housemate dah tolong buat, susun kasut, susun kotak, buang sampah dsb. Last2, aku cuci motor kesayangan aku plak.

Tapi malam tu aku tetap tak boleh tido. Mengenangkannya.

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More from me...

Aaaahhhh... Life feels great. Really greeeatttt.

My house is chaotic, my work never-ending, my company didn't keep their promise of giving us a raise after 6 months slaving away in hope of getting THAT raise (oh, I so hate it when people didn't keep their promises!), and someone is accusing me something.

OK, I've explained all but one. One and two tie with each other. If my company gave me the raise, I'll have enuff money to rent a house by myself. Moi apartement. Tout moi. Tak payah sakit hati bila someone 'forgot' to do house chores. Tak payah nak sound or remind anybody to do house chores. Tak payah makan hati bila balik keja penat2 tengok rumah tak bersapu.

The last part, ouch. That really hurts la. If only that person knew that un-sound accusations without valid proof, is the first blow that cracks any sort of relationship. Enough said.

... I better update my resume and get prepared to leave this place, leave this state and go back home. Hujan emas di negeri orang, lebih baik aku bergelar tuan di negeri sendiri. Hah!

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Pour vous, oui monsieur!

This is to illustrate how a business favor works.

Breakfast session

Boss: 'Have you filled up the registration form for the Corporate Branding Conference in Singapore?'
Me: 'Not yet. The deadline is 11th, next week.'
Boss: 'Have you arranged for anyone to do it for you while we are here in KL?'
Me: '...'
(Boss opened mouth to start another round of lecture and Ainie had a look of horror on her face)
Me: 'I'll get Chairman.'

I lost count of how many 'IOUs' I had given to Chairman. Chairman had done many favors and I had repayed only about 25% of the favor. I was about to issue another IOU to him.

Me: 'Chairman...'
Chairman: 'What's up?'
Me: 'How's Jen?'
Chairman: 'You called just to...?'
Me: 'Just kidding. I need a favor.'
Chairman: 'Hmm...'
Me: 'Urgent.'
Chairman: 'What?'
Me: 'There's a form in my topmost document tray. Please help me to fill it in, then get Mr. Trump to sign it, and then fax it over to KL and Singapore.' (all said in a breath)
Chairman: 'Huh?'
Me: 'McD?'

About half an hour later, Chairman rang me up.

Chairman: 'What am I to fill? Your name? Your boss' name? Who's approving manager? What's KL fax no.? How many days to attend? I think McD is not enuff. Mr. Trump is in a bad mood today.' (I can imagine him sipping his drink and pacing up and down in front of Mr. Trump's door – a sign that he's panicking).
Me: 'Hmm. Mine & his. Mr. Trump. The number's written on the fax machine. 2 days. OK, I'll upgrade to KFC.'

About 4 pm, he rang up again.

Chairman: 'KL said, I need a memo.'
Me: 'So write one.'
Chairman: 'What?? What to write?' (Panicky)
Me: 'Go to my PC, this is my password (*****), open Outgoing Doc folder in My Doc, then just use one of those memos I had done before.'
Chairman: 'You know this is more than what we bargained?'
Me: 'And your point?'
Chairman: 'Hyatt or Pan Pac?'
Me: 'Mother father...'
Chairman: 'Deal. Nice having business with you, Carneyz.'

I made a mental note to include his name in the media lunch at any one of those hotels. Surrounded by reporters. Who would ask him lotsa questions. Ha ha. I have the last word here.

Me: 'Chairman?'
Chairman: 'What?'
Me: 'Deal.'

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