Baju Kurung Odyssey

Last nite, while my CLK sang me to sleep, I spent the time reading Sherlock Holmes story book with my feet propped up against the wall and the fan blowing hot air on my cheeks.

After a while, I got bored of reading the same book for over 20 times, and thought maybe I wanna be a writer, but before that I want to own a bookstore, but after calculating whether there will be ROI (return on investment), I decided against the idea because Malaysians still don't read books that often and if they do, they read novels like 'Diari Rogayah' or 'Cinta di Penghujung Tanduk' or something like that which I don't intend to display in my bookstore.

I stared at another of my CLK (cute little komunikator -- my handphone), wishing hard for it to ring and to my delight, it beeped in response to my ardent wish. I mean, a beep also means somebody thought about me, kan?

It was my best friend in university, Agath. She was telling me about how nervous she was about her upcoming interview as a tutor in a local university and 'God! I haven't wear a baju kurung for ages!'

Talking about baju kurung, I remembered a conversation I had last weekend when observing a girl wearing baju kurung while on a date with her boyfriend. Like any normal girls watching other girls, I opened my mouth to make a comment.

'Look at that. Pegi dating pun pakai baju kurung?'

My companion replied, 'Bagus la tu. If I went on a date with a girl wearing baju kurung... wow.' (This coming from a guy who flatly refused to wear a baju melayu, come what may)

Compulsively and automatically, I made a growling sound and uttered, 'Aaargh!' in that dangerous way that promised instant death for anybody who tried to suggest the very idea to me.

My companion was so surprised at the reaction to his reply that he said, 'Wah! Baru cakap macam tu dah menunjukkan unsur2 yang ganas & brutal? Takut la...'

Carneyz -- ganas & brutal. Perhaps there are some truths to what K. Za & K. Tini were trying to tell me.

'Awak? Ayu?? Meh akak gelak guling2 dulu dengar ayat tu...!' 'Dah la tak cun, tak ayu, brutal, bawak motor macam pelesit...'

OK apa?

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Malaysia's Most Ridiculous

Last nite, I was doing my work on my CLK and at the same time, tuning in to whatever was shown on tv. In the end, I was forced to look at the tv screen instead of at the computer screen in total disgust. Never mind the fact that I had a deadline to work on by the next day. I had never feel disgusted in my whole life at a tv program as I felt last night.

The first time I saw the ads of the program, I thought, 'Ah, finally... a beauty pageant that doesn't focus on a woman's breasts, legs and face.' I made a mental note to watch it, to see how the contestants were judged not just on their physical appearance, but also thru their contributions to the society, the maturity of their grey matter and the glowing personality they possess. I thought it's going to be a different beauty contest that reflects true beauty. Not just skin deep.

Boy, do I thought wrong. Physical appearance? Bah! Contributions to the society? More like to the salon and fashion designer. Maturity of grey matter? I doubt it after seeing that ridiculous hand-waving. Glowing personality? My foot!

To my horror, and then ultimate disgust, the so-called Malaysia's aspiring prettiest lady broke down and sobbed uncontrollably because the cameraman decided to take a close-up shot at her scarred, naked face. After the crying subsided, she said rather proudly, 'I think I'm brave because I have overcome my fear to show the scar on my face.'

Oh God, Lord above, show mercy on me. There are numerous times I turned up to class / office without even a lipstick on, looking like dead corpse plus a zit on my nose and I hardly felt a tinge of sadness or the need to bawl and cry my eyes out because people around me can see how ugly I am without my makeup.

Wonder whether she'll cry as much when she sees a picture of a skeletal-thin African child with scars all over his body, crawling on the road to reach UN food distribution area while a vulture waits for the child to die before he can reach the place.

This can't be true. This is absurdity at the highest level.

I can't help this feeling of wanting to throw up whenever I see this particular contestant. Not because she's Chinese, I have no prejudice against any race, please. My ex-housemate was Jen and she's Chinese and we called her 'Miss Universe' affectionately. I think Jen's prettier than her anyway.

It was because she mistook vanity as self-confidence.

'I look better than Amber Chia... When I win this competition, I'm going to wave to my fans like this (wave in that ridiculous way). I'm going to put this prize in my living room so people know that I have won Malaysia's most (awful) competition. This prize is going to be my trophy. Among the three, I'm the most gorgeous. I know I'm going to win. I can feel it!'

Hand me that bucket please. I wanna throw up so bad when I heard this ridiculous speech. And the way she posed? Great heavens.

'Cheap and thrashy.' I felt like applausing the photographer for his right on the nail comment. She's too much. Even if the ones who voted her (must be hot-blooded male high on adrenaline) think she's cute by acting the way she acted, I simply refuse to acknowledge her as whatever her fans voted her for.

I wasn't the only one with the same opinion. When she made it to the final two contestants, the rest had their eyes wide open, jaws dropped down. 'She made it? What's wrong with Malaysians?? If she won, I might want to get out of the country for a while.' Even if this comment was hilarious, I echoed the same sentiment. But, I don't know, somehow because I am so used to the weird ways the system work in this country, I think she's going to win. It always works that way.

I mean. I never expected this program to turn out this way. If being beautiful means you gotta dress up in the latest fashion, and act like a blonde but in this case, overdoing it, thank you very much I'm happier being ugly. What happens to women's liberation? What happens to better judgement of one's character?

Then again, let's just hope that her mengada-ada character is just a tactical campaign to make sceptical person like me glued to the show right to the end and to make a point to watch it just to see how truth triumphs in the end and the rest of my countrymen have the same views on what is considered as nonsense, ridiculous behavior.

I cross my finger. One thing I have to applause to her is how her ugliness rears up the ugly, bitchy side of me.

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Ms. Lonely

The good thing about blogging is you get to talk even though there's nobody listening (reading) anyway. By God's grace, you get an audience or two, who gave more two-hoots about the music or the absence of music in your blog rather than what you write (Ok, ok, I'm joking, guys...) That certainly outshines talking that produces sound from voicebox, because that requires another person to listen and right now I have none.

But, Carneyz (wave hands around in emphasis), you were the one who decided to leave. Which is too true. Everybody said no, don't go and I, the one who have other plans in mind choose to go anyway. So yeah, loser, don't talk about it anymore ok. We told you so. I told you so.

I am a loser in the sense that I lost the people who were there to listen to go to a place where (look around, one more time) ... Never mind.

The truth is, I'm lonely. My new office is great-looking, I've moved uptown bla2x, not that the people are not nice, they are, but they are just - different. I haven't laugh in that feel-good way, that laughter that comes from the guts and forces itself out until you have stitches.

Aini - 'You know ayah I pernah cakap I ketawa macam setan. Tulah, ikut u guys!'
Survivor - 'Apa pulak ikut kiteorang? Sejak bila kiteorang gelak macam setan?'
Carneyz - 'Entah. I ketawa cute apa? Jen, laugh in that evil way.'
Jen - 'Don't drop my water face.'

Tu tak termasuk sesi gelak ketawa ngan Kak Za.

'Mek, cuba tengok keta tu. Naper orang tu lambai2 kat awak?'
<>
'Kak Za! Hahaha! Tengok dieorang tak perasan keta kat depan dah jalan! Kan dah kena hon. Muahaha!'
'Memang sah dieorang bengong, kalau Kak Za jadi dieorang tak kuasa nak lambai kat awak. Dah la tak cun, tak ayu, brutal, bawak motor macam pelesit...'
'Nak balik ke tak? Kalau nak balik, diam.'
'Yalah, yalah. Hehe. Sedap pulak mengutuk awak nih.'

... Rindu la kat Mek Tot tu. Rindu sesangat.

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Bloody Monday

At that time of the month, trying to think how to revise a design for the 100th time, and at the same time enduring the feeling of your uterus flesh being ripped off (very descriptive, Carneyz, very da descriptive) is horrible.

...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! Somebody, anybody, give me an epidural anesthesia. I'm dying... Huhu...

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The Memory of Fab 5

Listen to this recorded voice
Every time I hear it makes me laugh
How did Aini come up with those thoughts
And why the hell does Jen sound like that?

And this is where I hang out
I think the fishes knew me inside out
I never knew how depressed is my life
I spent so much time on aqua therapy

This is where I went to work
Most of the time had better things to do
Attendance showed that I had two months red
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too much
Is this decision wise or I'm too rush
I tried to quit job without them knowin'
If I was them I wouldn't let me in.
Oooh3x...
Oh God, I...

Every memory of looking out the window
I had the recording played on my mp3
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Every memory of walking in the terminal
I found the picture of us in office till 4 am
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Remember the bowlin' arcade
Blew every ringgit down the bowling lane
Aini's folks hated it when we came home late
They say, 'what kind of girls did we raise?'

We used to come to Dilla's house to chill
And karaoke to every song we'd know
We said some day we'll get the neighbours knockin'
To ask us to pack up and go back home.

Chairman's the first friend I made
We talked about the States where he used to live
He had a couple of guy friends since then
The girls think he's very poyo now.
Ooo3x...
Oh God, I...

Every memory of looking out the window
I had the recording played on my mp3
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Every memory of walking in the terminal
I found the picture of us in office till 4 am
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

I miss that town, I miss the faces
You can't erase, you can’t replace it.
I miss it now, I can't believe it
So hard to stay, too hard to leave it.

If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the window
I had the recording played on my mp3
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Every memory of walking in the terminal
I found the picture of us in office till 4 am
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Listen to these recorded voices
Every time I do it makes me laugh
Every time I do it makes me...

Created : Carneyz :p

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