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Coffee Break With Me

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Monday, April 03, 2006

Minta Maaf Kepada Semua di Msjbox Gathering

Salam kepada sumer.

Di sini, aku nak mintak maaf kat korang sumer sebab hari tu mood aku tak baper bagus + aku ngantuk giler2 jadi aku tak bertegur-sapa ngan sesapa melainkan Juliana yang memang peramah orangnya, dan Kiki yang bertanyakan nama. Tu je. Aku sebenarnya agak keberatan nak pegi memandangkan indeks mood aku di paras paling rendah tapi aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhh! aku terpaksa pergi jugak demi menjaga perasaan orang yang mengajak.

Half-way tu aku terpaksa pulak meninggalkan majlis dan tak balik2. Aku rasa bersalah plak tapi, memang waktu tu aku perlu bersendirian. Erm. Harap2 korang faham la yek. Plus, aku sememangnya tak baper gemar menyanyi sebab suara tak best, dan aku just nyanyi bila aku sesorang. Dan bilik tu bertambah sejuk, dan aku bertambah mengantuk gara2 tak bley tido malam sebelumnya.

Jadi aku pun buat keputusan meninggalkan korang ngan feel good moment, takut2 mood aku yang diam tu akan merosakkan mood korang plak. Aku berjalan2 sorang diri di tingkat bawah dan minum teh panas di Sushi King, barulah terasa lkurang tension sket. Itupun aku sememangnya lebih banyak mendiamkan diri sepanjang hari tu sampailah aku tido malam tu. Itu ialah aku di saat2 aku mengalami krisis dalaman :( :(

Harap2 klu korang carik awek, jangan la carik awek cam aku. Banyak sangat angin kus-kus dan krisis dalaman! Buat penat aje. Huahuahua! Ntah la. *mood dah jadi negatif balik*. Aku mengalami jiwa kacau skrang bila memikirkan aku kena balik bulan ni.

P/S: Dhekchiq, sowee tak de mood gak nak merasa kek coklat tu. Lain kali, kalau ada rezeki, tak de mood pun akan paksa diri makan gak. Mesti sodap kan? ;) Time kasih la sebab bersusah-payah buat kek.
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Friday, March 31, 2006

Peristiwa Di Hari Jumaat...

Tengahari tadi, aku berjalan-jalan ke Sogo. Saja nak bersenam sket. Hehe.

Bersenam ke, bershopping? Kalau dah pompuan tu, memang pantang dapat peluang...

Eh, tolong sket ye? Aku jarang gi shopping, melainkan kalau ada mood membeli-belah je. Tadi pun aku bukan menderma kat Sogo, aku masukkan duit dalam ASB je. Haper la. Buruk sangka. Ngeek!

Sesampainya aku di sana, aku tengok masih ada sale lagi. Aku gi keluarkan duit dari BCB untuk masukkan ke dalam ASB. Banyak betul ceruk menyimpan nih ye? Aku memang macam tu, sker diversify pelaburan. Sayangnya, duit je tak banyak. Huhu...!

Aku tengok makcik-makcik beratur di kaunter bayaran kat bahagian beg tangan. Aku kagum dengan makcik-makcik nih. Baper banyak beg tangan dieorang kena beli? Tetiap minggu shopping beg tangan. Kalau tak beg tangan, shopping kasut. Agaknya, banyak sangat baju nak kena match ngan beg tangan tu. Kalau dah beg tangan dan baju kena matching, kasut pun kena matching gak. Pastu tudung pun kena la match jugak. *Series kronik*, aku geleng-geleng kepala. Tak pelah, duit dieorang. Buat la apa2 yang patut ye, makcik-makcik.

Bila aku baca blog Chika tentang perempuan high maintenance, aku tergelak sesorang. Memang, jadi pompuan kompem high-maintenance. Satunya, yang kena beli bulan2 tu. Bukan singgit dua. Belas2 ringgit! Kulit sensitif. Kena pakai facial foam, mana bley tonyoh ngan sabun je. Kain baju mahal. Pastu kena tutup aurat, beli tudung plak. Tak masuk social pressure lagi. Baju arinih tak bley pakai besok. Kalau tak, sumer kat opis pakat tanya rumah terbakar ke sampai jadi sehelai sepinggang nih?

Tapi perlu ke tiap-tiap minggu shopping beg tangan?

Aku sorang pompuan yang agak high-maintenance jugak, sebab memang hakikatnya begitu. Aku ada empat pasang kasut --> sepasang kasut tumit tinggi untuk official functions, sepasang sandal ke pejabat, sepasang capal untuk travelling, dan sepasang kasut sukan. Ada SATU beg tangan, satu beg galas ke opis dan satu beg galas travelling. Aku ada lebih byk baju dari kaum lelaki, tapi kalau aku pindah baju2 aku muat dalam satu beg besar dan satu beg sederhana je. Masa aku pindah dulu, cuma amik satu trip keta Waja je untuk pindahkan. Aku terbiasa plak jadi nomad, sker2 je pindah.

Ekceli, apa sebenarnya objektif aku menulis posting nih? *kompius*
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Friday, March 31, 2006

Dream Wanderer

There were angry voices. More people joined in. A pontianak under a tree, in the rain. I didn't know how it ended up in this scenario. I wasn't scared. I was just worried.

Worry is like small, small things mixed up with the big ones.

Then the scenario changed. All those important people, the datuks and the directors sitting around the meeting table. I wanted to give my opinion. I did not want to give my opinion. I am not willing to step up. It's not because I don't have an opinion, I told myself firmly, I just don't want to share it less they think I'm capable. Why is it I'm so scared of being thought as capable?

Somebody leant forward and told me, It's a dream, but it's going to be real soon. When you wake up, remember this. This is soon to happen. I nodded in affirmation. 'Like a deja vu right?' I said, knowingly. The whole board faded off into nothingness.

Then there was a series of events, involving my father, my sisters and my mother. They all had different directions to go and I was going through it again - the pains of pleasing everyone of them.

I was awake again, it was 7.28am. I missed my Subuh prayer. I did not remember the deja vu part. It had been important. It felt important. Maybe it's going to happen. Maybe not. I wonder whether I'll know if it happens.

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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Why???

I am in a fixed situation.

One side is angry, the other side is hopeful. And I love them both.

The pressure is cracking me up. I hardly sleep for three days now, and when I sleep, I wake up so often because of angry people in my dreams.

I have been visiting tasik again. True, tasik is my sanctuary every time I am depressed. True, tasik UTM is still the best place. However, Tasik Titiwangsa will make do.

Sometimes, I bear a grudge against the hopeful one, because of this request, I am landed in this position. Serba-salah. Tapi tak sampai hati nak marah.

Sometimes, I feel wronged by the angry one, because I never intended to replace anybody with anyone. It's just a natural phase. Nature makes it this way. How come I am blamed for that? Tapi aku faham situasi dia.

At any time between these two, I just want to disappear from the earth's surface. Become a stone. A stone has no heart. No feelings. No predicament like mine.
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Friday, March 24, 2006

A Walk To Remember

To dearest Jen,

We did that, like we used to do millions of times. We laughed together - you, me & Ainie. We cried. We told stories that happened, we cried. We laughed. We agreed it was the best thing that happened to us. Oh yes, it is.

'You guys are the first Malay friends I have.' you told us. Then you cried. We cried.

'And the craziest, right?' I interjected. You laughed. We laughed. We did that, me in KL, you & Ainie way back in JB. We spilt tears because you're leaving. You're leaving for good.

You kicked up the leaves and the magic is lost...

Jen dear-rie,

I remembered the first time we met. You & Ainie, giggling over the employment form. You wanted to put your status as 'Janda' because Ainie told so. Chairman & tried to scare you both by telling the awful things we had done in the one-week period we were there. But we all became insaparable after that, right? We were there lunch, dinner, bowling, and all. We joked, we b*tched, we chilled, we rocked, we washed cars, we travelled 100km in a night, then back. For fun. Those were the days.

Those days we usually crash at Ainie's place, watching tv, chitchatting, three of us in bed with me falling asleep first while you two continued you chit-chat-ton. And waking up to Ainie's wake-up calls, Aunty's cooking, you curled up in bed always last to use the bathroom, going to work listening to radio & talking about Chairman (again... why was it our conversation always ended up analysing that weird guy? I always think it was Ainie's fault). And then sighing and complaining why we always ended up talking about Chairman. Then starting again, and ending up the same way. Until Care Bear existed, then we talked finally we talked about someone other than Chairman.

Then we sort of fell out because of new people coming in. Chairman went his own way, we had disagreements, we didn't speak to each other, but you were always there. I can't thank you enough Jen. I was mean, but you were patient with me. I love you the most, because of this part of you.

Jen, last week was a walk to remember. As we strolled in Jusco, you, me & Ainie linked arms together. If only Survivor was with us. We bullied Chairman tirelessly. We forced Ainie to eat at Sushi King. I have not met anyone who loved sushi as much as I do, ever since Eva went back to hometown. You & I, we are mad about sushi. We can spend hours (but not ringgits) at Sushi King. Had all those heart-to-heart talk.

So much I wanted to talk about you, but I can't. I'm like that. I keep everything inside until it exploded and I'll miss you so bad. I'll miss our Ramadhan bazaar trips, hunting for nasi kerabu. I'll miss hours we chatted through the nite on the floor in my room at your house, or nights we spent in the office, complaining, oh so much I'll miss about you! Even after I moved here, whenever I need someone to talk to, I could always pick up the phone and call you. But I won't be able to now.

Every memory of walking in the terminal, I found the picture of us in office till 4 am, It's hard to say it, time to say it, Goodbye, goodbye...

P/S: When I see anything pink, I will always think about you. Take care, Jen. Ur the Miss Universe (a.k.a. Evil Queen).

Jen --> 'One more word...' Knife brandished at Ainie.
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Just Call Me Carneyz | From Sarawak and Staying in Kuala Lumpur | Lifestyle Blogger | Traveller Blogger | Mom of Two Lovely 'K' | Blogger since March 2004

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