Food Poisoning

Cerekarama penglipur lara:

‘Siapa yang abang lebih sayang? Saya atau janggut abang?’

Suami terchenta terkedu tak bersuara. Apa punya soalan cepu emas yang tiba-tiba muncul dari mulut isteri terchentanya. Kerana suami terchenta tidak boleh memberikan jawapan, isteri terchenta berasa kechiwa lalu mengambil keputusan masuk gear ‘Reverse’ dan lari dari tempat kejadian. Lari, lari ke Paris ! Mengubat hati dan jiwa yang lara dek kerana suami terchenta lebih sayang bidadari-bidadari yang bergayutan di janggut nya itu.

Siapa yang lebih kesian ? Suami atau isteri terchenta ?

Jatuh bedebuk ! macam nangka busuk ke dunia realiti:

Semalam aku amik cuti. Sakit perut. Tandas menjadi tempat faveret sepanjang hari. Doktor kata aku keracunan makanan. Maka aku diberi cuti sebab aku terlalu sayang untuk meninggalkan tandas di rumah kesepian takde penghuni. Nasib baik doktor yang baik hati tak cucuk aku dengan jarum macam nasib yang menimpa Chik. Makaceh Doktor ! Tapi ubat dia kasi, sikit punya banyak oo. Ubat sakit perut, ubat cirit, ubat angin, air garam. Semua aku kena telan macam gula-gula. Nyam, nyam! Burppp! TAK SUKA MAKAN UBAT!

Pagi ni, aku masih sakit perut tapi dah boleh pergi kerja. Tak macam semalam, dah on the way pergi ofis, tiba-tiba perut memulas-mulas macam nak terberanak. Sebelum aku melahirkan anak berketul2, cepat-cepat aku bagitau suami terchenta untuk patah balik ke rumah. Suami terchenta pusing stereng 360 darjah (mesti tergezut Sang Kancil di belakang kami) dan memecut balik. Huhu..! Besar sungguh pengorbanan suami terchenta ku.

Pagi ni aku asyik mengeluarkan aura. Aura angin dari dalam perut. Burrrppp ! Adoi la, sakit perut. Bila la nak reda ni ?

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Cerita Sambung Masters Lagik.

Semalam, episod cerita ‘Sambung Masters’ tak berakhir begitu sahaja. Cerita ‘Sambung Masters’ yang penuh suspen itu masuk Season 2. Kali ini, jalan ceritanya semakin sengit. Semakin menarik. Semakin mendebarkan. Aku sudah terbayang kesejukan Kota London. Sudah planning cuti-cuti Eropah waktu musim summer. Boleh nonton MU lawan Liverpool live! Happening sey!

Kalau ada sesiapa yang tahu macamana nak cari penaja yang boleh sponsor study sambung Masters, hopefully boleh maklumkan kepada kami. Especially kalau nak buat MBA. Especially kalau di UK. Hahaha! Boleh dapat baby made in UK. Hahaha lagik! Aku sudah obses dengan negara King Arthur tu.

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Over the weekend

Over the weekend, suami terchenta spent half a day in the office and I was not in the mood to go out + not feeling too well. So I spent my weekend at home playing computer game (isn’t that typical?). On Sunday, feeling guilty over the state of my home, I did major houseworks – dusting cobwebs and countertops, cleaning the bathroom and the toilet, folding clothes, doing 2 rounds of laundry, sweeping the house, straightening up the bedroom, etc etc. I was thinking of doing the ironing but by the time I finished, I was really, really exhausted so I postponed it to some other time.

Suami terchenta came back home around 4pm and as we sat down for very late lunch / early dinner, he suddenly said,

‘I was working and suddenly a thought struck me. I feel like furthering my studies.’

(The sound of cd player screeching to a stop; time stood still and spiders that escaped my de-cobwebbing fell down from the ceiling)

I wanted to howl. Howling in happiness. In fact, I wanted to howl and do an Irish jig to celebrate this moment of awakening.

I thought I was hallucinating because I was having a throbbing headache. After watching so many episodes of ‘House’, I am convinced that migraine can cause hallucination (note: Watch the episode when House said, ‘I see music.’) 

Suami terchenta went on further to say,

‘At this stage, I feel that I’ve hit a point where I need to upgrade myself. Life is getting stagnant.’

Oh yezzaa, you hit right on the nail’s head. Workplace is getting stuffy. Dealing with the same conflicts and tribulations at work is suffocating me. The fact that I am feeling stupider by the days doesn’t do justice to my hard work & struggles at university.

Then I went ahead and brought my wistful suami terchenta crashing back to reality,

‘Oh great. Can we sambung study in UK?’

Like, hey, alang-alang we decide to starve ourselves after this, let’s go homeless and naked as well.

...

‘UK? What are we going to eatttt???’

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Frustration II

This afternoon I received a phone call from a colleague in JB that made me very pissed off. In a loud voice, he demanded to know why his name was not listed on the website when he had done all the hard work compiling info on clients.

Pakcik bangang: 'Eh, why is my name not listed as contact person? I had done all the hard work, you should put the credit to me?'

Me: 'We know la you're doing your work. As for the contact person details, that's decided by my boss. Talk to him la.'

Pakcik bangang: 'Ya la, you know. But not everybody else! Later they think I don't do anything?'

Me (very annoyed already): 'I told you, my boss decides who gets his name on the website or who doesn't. Why are you scolding me?'

Pakcik bangang: 'I'm not scolding you. My voice is loud la, hello?'

Me: 'Whatever la. You call my boss, ask him (whether) can or not put your name there. Don't go attacking me like this. My job is to update the website as per instruction, ok.'

Pakcik bangang (in a I'm-not-done-with-you tone): 'Ok, I'll call him.'

He did exactly that. At 2pm sharp, he rang up twice. Twice, you know?? Just so he can have his name put up on the website!

I mean, what the fish?? Macam la dia buat kerja susah sangat? Itupun I had been bugging him for two weeks to get it done because his boss had been bugging my boss and in turn, my boss bugged me to bug him. When he got it done (finally!), he demanded free publicity like it is his own work effort.

Pakcik, if things work like that, the whole entire website should carry my name. Any queries, please contact ME because you know what, I work harder than you do to put it together. Ada faham? That stuff you compiled, I could've done it in one day if I was in JB 24/7. I don't need to wait for 2 whole weeks and every time had to listen to your lame excuse about the clients not co-operating.

Any posters, any buntings, any banners, anything down to the corporate brochure should include my name at the back or better still, on the front / at the top there because I designed them / I compiled those info. Why should they be free of my name after the thankless efforts I had put in? Shouldn't the whole world know that it is to my credit that this company owns a functioning website / up-to-date corporate brochure / cheaper posters because the creative artwork is done by me?

The only explanation to this whole thing is. Some people are really. Gila kuasa.

Excuse me. I go muntah darah.

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Frustration

Yesterday I came down with a splitting headache on the left side of my temple. It's probably due to the straint on my poor, poor eyes. During office hours, I'd be staring non-stop at the monitor doing poster design / newsletter publishing. I spent one whole day cracking my head over the newsletter layout, testing & re-testing sending the newsletter via email to my various Yahoo!, Gmail, Hotmail and Outlook email accounts. The layout kejap lari2, font tukar2, itu ini. Aiyaah... No thanks to my lack of IT and web design knowledge. I was a human resources graduate, ok? I only married a programming expert. If only we can also swap knowledge base during exchange of marriage vows. I'd be a web expert as well then.

Anyway, after a hard day's work I will spend the night in front of my laptop unwinding my nerves playing computer games. No wonder my eyes couldn't take it anymore! Poor, poor darlings.

Today, there seems to be a lot of things to be done but my tired self couldn't even think of where to begin. I'm like, lost. So many things to do but nowhere to begin with.

The fact that my boss is discussing the outcome of American Idol last night instead of giving us clear, specific directions on how to achieve our growing list of tasks doesn't help with the thinking process either. Instead, I feel that my brain is killing itself slowly.

Like, hellooooo?? Do we have something to accomplish by next month OR NOT?

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