Friday, February 24, 2006

Arinih sebenarnya kebosanan aku dah tahap dewa, bak kata kawan baik aku time study dulu, Agatha.

Aku bosan dengan projek aku yg masih tergantung tu. Dieorang nak tunggu sampai bila baru nak luluskan? Dah namanya reall-time info, mestilah sentiasa berubah. Abis tu, tak payah ada website? Gitu? Ptuih! Fed up makcik. Makcik FEEEDDDD UPPP!!

.................................

Sekali lagi bila dah fed up jari-jemari melakar kata-kata di blog sepi. Biarkan. Perasaan tertekan ni akan sentiasa menemani aku selagi aku bergelar kuli taraf profesional. Aku lapar. Bila aku bosan aku lapar. Lapar yang bukan disebabkan perut belum diisi apa2, tapi sebab otak belum dikenyangkan dengan sesuatu yang mencabar. Kerutinan hidup macam makan nasi takde lauk. Mula2, mengenyangkan. Lama2, memuakkan.

Bukanlah aku nak mintak cabaran macam pelarian perang. Aku bosan duduk menghadap komputer sehari-hari. Aku suka kerja yang aku boleh berjalan2 ke tempat baru, yang penting aku tak terperap menghadap patung2 hiasan di meja yang sama2 bosan melihat muka aku.

Sudahlah. Daripada aku mengadu tak henti2, baik aku berjalan2 di bawah. Sekurang2nya ada gak yang boleh dilihat. Bosan.

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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Dreaming Of A Life By The Sea

Every morning when I came into the office, I head to the pantry, pour a glass of water and make tea / milo, then walk all the way to the back of the office, where my place is. Switch on my PC, check email, reply them, read online news (I'm the only person paid to read newspaper every day), print / save those related to the business, and attend to my projects. On certain mornings, I also attend to my boss' demands.

...

I'm getting tired of this routine. To be truthful, I hate working under somebody else. I loathe it to take orders. But most of all, I venomously detest the sense of entrapment of this dull life, subject to demands and less-than-equal rewards I'm getting (picture this: belajar separuh mati, carik keja macam nak rak, keja mati-mati, tapi gaji ciput).

But I need the dough, to survive and give me a sense of stability bcoz right now, I've enough on my plates to feel the world is like a roller-coaster. I am a highly independant girl, the idea of just giving up everything and let my man bring home the meat is... unlikely. Unless kalau dok rumah pun boleh keja (sekarang konsep working from home dah popular, kan?) dan yang penting dapat duit, wallah! Settle my problem.

Paling best sekali, kalau kerja tu benda yang aku suka - designing. Huhu..! I'll be on cloud nine. Carneyz - the graphic designer. Sigh.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Asian Aerospace 2006 & Jen

I didn't tell you about my trip to Singapore on Monday. I went to see last minute preparation for the Asian Aerospace 2006 in Changi. It was fantastic. The exhibition area is huge - our booth is located at the farthest tent area, complete with aircondition and cafeteria which served the most delicious chocolate muffin - almost as good as Kenny Roger's. I stood, transfixed in front of GE's Boeing engine and even more mesmerized by Rolls-Royce's A380 engine. The engine's size blew me off my mind - from floor to ceiling with intimidating-looking fan blades. Phew. Kalau la berdiri depan enjin nih masa tengah hidup, sure kena 'suck in' pastu jadi minced meat. Scary.

I saw a complete Bell 429 heli, meant for medical purpose. The air was filled with the roaring sounds of engines from aircrafts practicing for tomorrow's event. There are jets and supersonics and the likes. I felt awfully sorry for not having a digital camera. Especially bila dapat tengok replika Airbus A380. Bila la dapat peluang naik Airbus nih.

Tapi penat giler la balik dari Singapore tu, sebab malam sebelum tu, takut terlambat bangun jadi aku pun tido2 ayam je. Kejap2 terjaga. Ainie je syok tido. Haha! Muka Ainie bangun dari tido pagi tu mengingatkan aku ngan anak patung. Muka budak comel ;) Budak comel yang ganassshhh!

Semalam, tepon Jen. Walaupun abis kredit aku tepon no. utara, tapi rasa lega bila dengar suara dia dah ok. Dah boleh gelak2. Aku tau Jen seorang yang tabah. Tapi lepas nih, dia mungkin beralih arah. Sedey la. Tapi sekarang aku dah terima kenyataan. Life must go on. Aku dah bukak chapter baru dalam hidup, jadi Jen pun kena bukak lembaran baru jugak. Yang lain2 bakal menyusul.

Aku harap Jen akan tetap ingat dan kontek kiteorang selalu lepas nih. Jen, I'm gonna miss u!! (sob, sob).

Me: Unless Trump lets you work from Kedah la.
Jen: Yeah, right... Work from my home. How to bring clients go around & see the retail space??
Me: Never mind. Wait until we work on our company, then we'll hire you. Can work from home. You can practise that 'uhuh, uhuh..' of yours. Do marketing la...
Jen: Haha! Yeah, yeah. Sure, can...
(Both laughed evilly)

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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Saddest Day In Her Life

Sadness is losing a loved one. Reaching out to grasp at a fading phantom but unable to stop nature's course. Knowing that there will never be another time to spend with the loved one.
Sadness is watching your friend goes through all those without being able to stop it because I too, will face the same fate. Only God knows when & how.

There is a lot of things that happened of late, signifying the cheers of life, but I will have to put them aside because I am griefing with her. There are tears shed, hearts broken, condolences offered. My heart ached for her.

My dearest Jen,

May God give you strength to face this sorrow, time to heal your pains, and knowledge to see that your father will no longer suffer from his bodily illness. Jen, God has blessed you with friends who care. We are all here to comfort you when you are ready to meet us.

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Friday, February 17, 2006

What is it about words that unleash such powerful emotions? 'Love' and 'hate' are merely consonants neatly spaced alternately between vowels, but the implications are what makes mankind decide what to do with the world. They feel vindicated to lay everything on these two words.

But what is it about words that bring home meanings done in such subtlety that nobody realizes the ulterior move behind carefully selected terms? The world is full of agenda, each contrasting with another, full of denial of the stark reality.

To put it mildly and bluntly. Why the heck do they want to make my life so difficult asking me to write a press release that blanket the truth when the truth is what they want to tell? Should I begin by describing the blanket and revealing the truth as little as I could? That sounds like strip show. And it's porno. Jen probably could do a better job than I do in this.

>> Survivor asked me to be a writer. I could begin by being a copywriter. Quotation on request. Sample of job as read above. Any offer? :)

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