Showing posts with label Motherhood & Pregnancy. Show all posts

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Firstly, I must say Alhamdulillah this pregnancy has been pretty much smooth-sailing and stress-free most of the time compared to my first full-term pregnancy experience.

I did not suffer from swollen and achy feet, nor constant backache. I'm also mercifully spared from the internal heat and eczema that made me most of the time miserable and irritable during my first pregnancy. I still remember how I often broke down in tears because my feet and tummy were so itchy when I'm hot and back then, we didn't even have an aircond to relieve my heat! The eczema problem was equally distressing because the cream and soap the hospital prescribed did little to help.

Except for the episode of non-stop vomiting during my first trimester that had me admitted in the hospital due to dehydration, my 2nd trimester and half of my third trimester has been trouble-free.

So I was not expecting to be admitted to the hospital again before delivery until I had had the OGTT. A week later, my doctor called to inform that my result was not so good - my reading was 11.1 mmol/L. Okaay.... Since I already expected that my blood sugar will be on the high scale, I did not really take serious notice when she asked me to see the dietician. Furthermore, I was on MC, I had a sick little girl to look after and also I had to work even during public holiday this week. So, making an appointment with a dietician who is going to ask me to eat brown rice instead of white rice (I'd seen dietician during my first pregnancy) was definitely not one of my top priorities.

Finally last Friday, I had an appointment with my gynae. As expected, she was not happy that I had not make the effort to go see the dietician immediately despite my reasons. She told me that she had a patient who lost her baby at 38 weeks because of uncontrolled GDM (gestational diabetes mellitus) and she is not taking that risk again. Before I can say, '...but!' she had written a note to have me admitted immediately that night so the hospital can monitor my blood sugar (or known as the 7-point test).

Saturday, November 03, 2012

8th month checkup - the dreaded glucose test!

I was dreading my checkup today. Seriously.

The last time I went for my checkup, my doctor told me that I have to go through the glucose tolerance test - in short OGTT. This is the test that all expectant mothers are terrified of. We have to fast overnight, have our blood drawn before the test, gulp down a glass of overly-sweetened glucose drink, wait for an hour and then have blood drawn again after the test. Lucky I'm not squirmish about the whole blood-drawing thing or I would have another thing to be terrified of this visit.

To tell you the truth, I am not really happy about having to do this test. I was close to rolling on the floor in despair when I was told that I had to do it - c'on! With my history of having PCOS, what other results can I expect??? Plus, my baby's size is right for her age (33 weeks, fyi), Khayla was born at 2.81kg (a.k.a. normal size) and I declared that none of my family members have diabetes. So what's the point of going through this torture? So, pfft. Welcome to the world of being pregnant in Malaysia where doctors insist that we go through the whole process regardless of my previously healthy state of pregnancy.

No chocie, but to prepare for it - The day before I went for the test I drank a lot of water. Waaaayyyyy a lot more than I used to drink. You see, I am not much a fan of H2O. This week when I keep a food journal of my food and drink intake, I discovered that on average I only drink 3 glasses of plain water per day and another 2-3 glasses of flavoured drinks (Horlicks, Milo, coffee, milk, etc.). In total, it's probably just 1L of drinks per day.WOAH! My doctor would certainly raised the roof if she knows that!

Anyway, back to my efforts to err, dilute my blood sugar level I guess, I drank bottles of mineral water one after another. Being in a meeting where the toilet is just across the meeting room helped a lot. By evening, I started to feel unwell. My head felt dizzy, my body felt achy all over and I felt terrible - like I was about to come down with cold / flu / fever.

It was strange because in the morning I was perfectly fine but after gulping down 2L+ plain water (the only time I took flavoured drink was the during lunch - I had Juiceworks banana+chocolate blended juice), I started to feel unwell. I googled my symptoms and guess what, I had accidentally detoxed my body!

According to this site, these are some of the detox symptoms (I highlighted the symptoms that I had T_T ):

headaches

lethargy

temporary muscle aches

mucus or other discharge

a coated, pasty tongue

flu-like symptoms

irritability

difficulty sleeping

weakness

cravings

nausea

constipation

diarrhoea

gas

Read more: http://www.naturaltherapypages.com.au/article/Detox_Symptoms#ixzz2B9s40ucE

Tu lah, pandai sangat kan. Dah menyusahkan diri-sendiri...

After a really bad sleep of tossing and turning (and suffering from extremely parched throat), I woke up feeling like I didn't want to go to the hospital to do the test. While downing another half litre of water after waking up, I changed my mind though. Might as well get it over and done with...

So as early as 8.30am, we were at the hospital. Suami Terchenta had to leave to go for his mid-term so I had to look after Khayla myself. Luckily she was in a good mood today - she woke up without a fuss and was really thrilled that she didn't have to take bath as we were already late. At the hospital, she enjoyed herself playing slides in the playroom and hide-n-seek in the playhouse. But when other kids came, she got all shy and stuck by me watching them play.

Playing slide at the playroom

Back to the test. I was so desperate to skip the test to the point that I decided to cheat - I sneaked a packet of M&Ms in my bag and was thinking to surreptitiously swapped the drink with a lot of M&Ms. Both are sweet and made of sugar, right? BUT.... this time around, a nurse lingered around to make sure that sneaky Moms like me finish those drinks without any hanky-panky tricks.

Sigh. What to do? I contemplated my unlucky situation sadly, took a deep breath and chugged down the drink while pinching my nose desperately trying to ignore the sickly sweet flavour.

Based on my experience, o expectant ladies out there, bring your own water bottle with a slice of lemon to give it a tinge of sour-ish flavour to counter the over-sweetness of the glucose drink. The hospital may provide plain water as well, but my lemon-infused water helped A LOT. Secondly, when you are about to finish the drink, drain the remaining into the plain water glass instead of chucking the drink from its own glass - that way it's less sweet because the non-dissolved glucose remains at the bottom of the first glass. And of course, chug it down the back of your throat where the sweet tastebuds are less - you do know the anatomy of your tongue right?

The test result will only be made known in two weeks' time, but my doctor told me that I had already almost flunked my baseline test (the blood test before the OGTT) - my reading was 5.8, whereby a 6 means that I am for sure having GDM (gestational diabetes mellitus). She warned me that my post-test will surely show that a higher reading, but I shrugged it off as 'one of those PCOS-thing'. Like I said, I knew it already.

Note: The baby is doing fine, growing at the right pace and still very active alhamdulillah. I can't wait - 7 more weeks or less to go!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Khayla - 14 months old

Today when I picked up Khayla at the daycare, her babysitter related a story about my precious lapis lazuli while putting on her shoes,

'Today she shows her temper. She was playing with a toy and cannot took it apart. So she screamed angrily at it! Huiyo, this girl ah, got temper satu macam!'

I thought back of myself at the office - how I easily lose mine too whenever something went wrong.

*slap on forehead*

Like mother, like daughter!

Here comes Baby Khayla (part 2 - a year later)

Setahun yang lepas, ye, pada tarikh yang sama, aku sedang bekerja keras menyiapkan kerja ofis di hospital, sementara menanti esok paginya untuk melahirkan seorang bayi perempuan bernama Khayla. Sila baca di sini.

Nampak sangat kan aku tak rajin update blog? Ada ke citer setahun lepas baru nak muntahkan kat sini?? Tak patut, tak patut...

Tapi, tak kira! Nak citer jugak! Sebelum aku lupa buat selama-lamanya, biarlah aku citer kan jugak pengalaman setahun lepas tu. Hehe.

So selepas aku siapkan kerja-kerja ofis pada pukul 2.30pagi, aku simpan laptop dan baring di katil hospital 5 star tu. Syok betul baring di katil hospital, sebab ada remote control boleh nak tegakkan atau flat kan katil tu, terpulang keselesaan. Maklum la, sejak pregnancy dah sarat, sakit pinggang menjadi-jadi, dan tido adalah mission impossible. So bila dapat katil yang boleh adjust sesuka hati, aku rasa kagoms dan heaven! En Suami dan lama dibuai mimpi di katil sofa sebelah. Dengan kedinginan aircond dan keempukan katil tu aku pun tertido selama 2 jam lebih.

Seawal jam 5 pagi, nurse dah kejutkan aku sebab nak pasang alat yang boleh detect contraction dan dengar heartbeat baby. Walaupun aku mamai, aku bangun la jugak untuk allow dieorang pasang mesin tu. Lepas tu, layan la dengar heartbeat baby selepas sekian lama tak dengar. So far, memang takde contraction pun sebab aku sepatutnya due 2 minggu lagi.

Pukul 6 pagi, dieorang remove benda tu dari perut aku, dan aku pun bangun untuk solat Subuh. Lepas tu dah tak tido. Sebab. Aku start rasa cuak. Cuak nya nak beranak first time nih!

Yang menambahkan rasa cuak, family aku sorang pun takde temankan aku (kecuali En Suami Terchenta la, kalau dia pun tak de memang lagi syahdu la aku! Tak de beza dengan budak2 yang beranak sorang diri tepi longkang tu kan. Huhu...). Kami kan sebatang kara je, so terpaksa la terima hakikat tu. Mak aku pulak tak dapat datang temankan aku last minute sebab nak sambut ketibaan ayah aku baru balik dari Mekah. Dugaan...

Pukul 7.30 pagi sepatutnya aku dah ditolak masuk ke wad pembedahan. Nurse dah suruh aku salin baju untuk operate, dan aku pun dah duduk di sofa tunggu ditolak keluar je dari bilik tu. Sempat la kami hubby & wife amik gambar terakhir berdua sekeluarga - lepas operate ni, bertambahlah ahli keluarga kami. Sementara tunggu tu jugak, sempat rakam video anakku bergerak-gerak di dalam perut - aik, baby pun cuak ke? (Ye, memang dia cuak, sebab dia boleh pusing 180 darjah, jadi posisi dia dah beralih masa tengah operate tuh!)

Pukul 8.15 pagi cenggitu, barulah nurse-nurse datang dan suruh aku naik ke katil aku. Dah setel, dieorang tolak katil tu keluar bilik. Masa tu dah rasa excited - woah, tak sangka dalam beberapa jam aku akan dapat menatap wajah si kecil yang selama 9 bulan membesar dalam perut aku! Rindu tau!

Suami Terchenta follow je kami, tapi bila dah sampai ke operation theater (OT), nurse suruh dia tunggu di luar sementara dieorang siapkan aku untuk pembedahan. For 15 minutes more or less, aku tunggu sorang-sorang dalam wad tu. Tak lama kemudian, seorang doktor Cina datang untuk explain prosedur anesthetic yang aku dah pilih malam sebelumnya (pergh, boleh pilih kau, sama ada nak epidural atau spinal block). Tentu2 aku pilih spinal block sebab ngeri tengok jarum epidural yang besar masa antenatal class dulu!

Lepas tu, dieorang angkat aku ke operation table dan sorong aku ke operation theater. Baru nak settle down, anesthetist tu datang dan suruh aku duduk dalam keadaan membongkok sedikit ke depan. Perasaan? Cuak dan takut! For a few minutes, dia dok tekan2 kat tulang belakang bahagian pinggang - geli pun ada, sakit pun ada gak. Bila dia wipe kat bahagian dia nak cucuk tu, terasa sejuk je kat situ (dah la bilik operation tu memang sejuk!). Bila dia cucuk tu, aku tersentak sekejap - sakit plus terkejut tiba-tiba. Woah, jangan main2, saraf tunjang tau. Doktor suruh aku jangan gerak, pas tu dia pun inject la ubat pelali kat situ.

Dalam beberapa saat je, aku start terasa lain macam je - kaki aku mula hilang rasa. Aku sempat gelak dan cakap kat doktor, 'My legs are going to sleep!' dan seminit kemudian, aku tak rasa apa-apa kat bahagian pinggang ke bawah. Mulanya aku rasa funny (ye rasa macam janggal pun ada, lucu pun ada). Tapi, tiba-tiba aku rasa nak amik nafas tu macam cukup2 je - doktor tu dah warning dah, paru2 aku separuh mungkin akan kebas jugak. Dah aku tercungap2 macam ikan kat darat. Nurse yang standby tu bagi aku topeng oksigen, tapi bagi aku tak membantu langsung.

Lepas tu, the same doctor insert pulak drip kat tangan kiri. Aku tahan je la kan. Bila dah settle semua, gynae aku pun masuk. Dia tanya kabar semua, dan kemudian mula la set up alat-alat pembedahan. Tak lama lepas tu, Suami Terchenta pulak masuk, siap pakai baju scrub. Bila aku nampak Suami Terchenta, aku rasa lega sangat dia temankan aku dalam bilik operation tu.

Disebabkan nurse dan pasang langsir daripada separuh dada ke bawah, maka aku tak nampaklah pembedahan dah bermula. Suami Terchenta sibuk amik video, dan tak jawab langsung pertanyaan aku bila aku tanya doktor tengah buat apa. Tau-tau, aku rasa pressure yang kuat sangat sampai menghimpit paru-paru aku, beberapa kali. Masa tu, aku ingatkan gynae tengah betul-betulkan posisi baby ke apa, rupa-rupanya dia dah operate pun, dan tengah cari kepala baby untuk ditarik keluar. Maklumlah, anak aku dah cuak kan, so posisi dia dah beralih dari masa scan dulu.

Tiba-tiba, Suami Terchenta duduk di kerusi sebelah aku sambil letak kepala di katil. Aku yang terpinga-pinga start tanya apa yang dah berlaku? Tak lama lepas tu, aku dengar doktor memberi salam, 'Asalamualaikum!' dan suara tangisan yang ditunggu-tunggu berkumandang.

Finally! Bahagia, teruja, pure happiness. Sebut la semua perasaan tu, semua ada dalam hati aku masa tu. Mendengar suara Khayla for the first time adalah magical moments for me. Aku jadi sebak lalu mula menangis. Suami Terchenta (aku masih susah nak maafkan dia sebab pengsan pada saat-saat penting tu!) tengah pitam, kalau tak dah lama aku suruh dia amik gambar Khayla di baby cot. Bila doktor bawak Khayla ke depan mata aku, aku terasa nak peluk cium dan tak nak lepaskan dia, tapi apakan daya sebelah tangan ada drip, sebelah lagi ada finger monitor. Aku cuma sempat cium wajah Khayla sepuas-puasnya sebelum doktor bawak Khayla pergi.

Suami Terchenta pulak dah dibawak keluar oleh nurse untuk sambung pengsan di katil yang dah standby kat luar bilik operation. Tinggallah aku keseorangan, tunggu doktor habis jahit tempat C-section tu. Entah camane, lepas beberapa minit, aku mula rasa lenguh dan sakit teramat sangat di bahu kanan. Bila aku bagitau kat doktor anesthetist tu, dia kata it's normal. Body aku detect ada injury tapi tak tau kat mana (sebab dah kebas kena inject pelali), so the pain signal tu 'park' la kat mana2 yang tak kena bius tu (kat bahu aku la).

Aku rasa sangat tak selesa, tapi En Suami takde pulak di sisi tolong picitkan bahu yang sakit tu. Terpaksalah aku tahan je sakit tu sampai la doktor dah habis jahit luka. Tapi bila doktor dah pergi, aku tetiba rasa boleh gerakkan jari kaki. Adeh. Itu bermakna ubat bius dah nak kehabisan, padahal masih lagi dalam operating theater! Aiyoh.

Lepas tu, aku disorong ke bilik recovery, di mana ada a few pesakit yang baru keluar dari bilik operation ditempatkan. Di situ, dieorang akan pantau keadaan pesakit, kalau dah nampak stabil, dieorang akan release dan boleh balik ke bilik masing-masing. Kalau tak, masuk la semula dalam bilik bedah kot. Aku terpaksa tunggu kat situ selama 1 jam. Tak tau kenapa, badan aku mula rasa sejuk teramat sangat sampai menggigil-gigil. Pinggang aku pun lenguh dan sakit, mungkin sebab baring terlentang agak lama (ya lah, sebelum ni aku mana tido terlentang dengan perut yang sarat, mau rasa nak patah pinggang gamaknya). Tapi, aku asyik terkenangkan baby yang baru lahir tu, kalau aku banyak komplen nanti lambat la aku nak discharge dari recovery room tu. So, aku cuma bagitau doktor bius untuk tambahkan dos ubat tahan sakit sebab aku dah mula rasa pedih di bahagian kena bedah tu, dan duduk diam-diam tunggu sejam tu berlalu.

Lepas sejam barulah aku ditolak semula ke bilik aku. Masa tu, aku tak sabar-sabar nak jumpa Suami Terchenta, nak mengadu betapa sakitnya lepas kena bedah kengkononnya. Tapi, masuk je bilik tu, tak de sapa2. Huhu. T_T

Sebaik je nurse dah betul-betulkan apa-apa yang patut, aku laju je mintak supaya dieorang bawak baby ke bilik. Tak sabar betul aku nak tengok wajah si kecik tu.

Dalam 15 minit aku tunggu, barulah pintu diketuk dan nurse sorong baby cot ke dalam bilik. Masa tu aku dah dengar si Khayla meraung2 (ya, dia memang kuat meraung). Nurse kata dia lapar. Bila tengok muka dia sekali lagi, aku rasa syahdu sangat tak boleh describe perasaan terharu bila first time jadi mak ni. Mulalah air mata tumpah sekali lagi, sampai nurse kata, 'Sudah la tu, kan baby dah ada ni...'

Aku ambik, peluk, cium sepuas-puasnya pipi si kecik tu. Lepas tu, nurse ajar camane nak bagi susu badan. Yalah, first time jadi mak ni, nak keluarkan susu sendiri pun tak reti. Apa lagi nak ajar baby camane nak menyusu. So, memang berterima kasih la kat nurse2 PCMC yang sabar melayan karenah kami sepanjang seminggu kat hospital - dengan si Khayla yang taknak menyusu sebab demam kuning, mak dia yang tak cukup tido sebab asyik kena ulang-alik pegi ke nursery nak bagi dia susu tapi dia tido pulak...

Citer pasal breastfeeding ni, memang aku akui first time tu memang kekok dan mencabar. For the first 3 days, memang tak banyak susu keluar. Paling banyak pun, sesudu dua je. Kalau aku tak pegi kelas antenatal dan tak dengar ceramah pasal breastfeeding, memang laju je akan mintak Suami Terchenta beli susu formula untuk top up.

Tapi sebab dah attend kelas tu, aku tau baby baru lahir memang perut dia kecik je, sesudu susu tu dah cukup mengenyangkan dia. Sebab tu dia hisap sekejap je, then dia sambung tido.

Then by hari ke 4-5, aku terasa breast bengkak sangat, sakit sampai rasa nak demam! For first time seumur hidup, aku tengok breastpump elektrik. Bila aku pam, dapat la 1-2oz susu, which nurse simpan buat stok untuk spoonfeed Khayla (sebab dia tak pandai feed directly lagi). By the time kiteorang discharge dari hospital, si Khayla dan mak dia masih lagi kekok nak breastfeed, so biasa aku akan pam / express susu dan bagi dalam botol susu. After 2 weeks (dan juga lepas pam manual patah, menyebabkan kiteorang terpaksa beli Medela double pump secara emergency), barulah production susu bertambah dengan banyaknya. Alhamdulillah :)

So back to story pada hari kelahiran Khayla.

Lepas nurse guide Khayla camane nak minum, sekejap je bayi tu dah kenyang dan sambung tido. Nurse letak dia kat dalam baby cot dan tinggalkan kami untuk berehat. Lepas tu baru la Encik Suami Terchenta masuk - alkisahnya lepas dia bangun dari pengsan, doktor tak bagi dia masuk balik dalam OT takut dia pengsan sekali lagi.

Maka, dia pun pegi la breakfast kat ground floor sementara tunggu operation berakhir. Tau2 Wife Terchenta dan anak dah dihantar ke bilik.

Encik Suami Terchenta yang tak penah pegang baby baru lahir tu, memberanikan diri nak dukung Khayla yang tengah nyenyak tido untuk diiqamatkan. Then, aku suruh dia ambik kurma kat tepi katil untuk tahnik kan budak kecik tu. Selesai semuanya, kiteorang sama2 menatap wajah si kecik dengan perasaan bahagia dan kagoms. Ya, jadi parents kepada bayi baru lahir ialah satu perasaan yang mengkagoms kan.

Begitulah kisah kelahiran Khayla Junaidi. Permata cantik dalam hidup kami. Terima kasih ya Allah, sebab mengurniakan anak secantik dan sebaik dia :)

Sunday Activities

Woke up this morning feeling not so well-rested. Hubby had crashed next to us after burning the midnight oil finishing his report. Khayla was already awake and doing her favorite activity - standing and holding to the bed head. Thinking to tease her, I shifted over to hubby and cuddled up to him - and as expected, Khayla felt left out and started to crawl over and try to get between us. She is such a jealous baby. Camane la nak ada adik ni?

Morning activity is the same. Prepared porridge for my little girl (broccoli, carrot and blended anchovies), and while waiting for it to cook, bathed her. Khayla soon started to crawl after me and whine for food after her bath - so I gave her a plate of chopped banana which she contentedly ate and afterwards, played with while sitting in her baby chair. After she had had enough of banana, I scooped some porridge and we settled down in front of the idiot box watching Babytv while having a proper breakfast.

Hubby had to leave for a group discussion and there was just the two of us to continue with the day. After finishing her porridge, she nuzzled closer for a cuddle and a round of breastfeeding session. After she dozed off, I put her down and went to hand wash her clothes - then put them for a spin in the washing machine. By that time, Khayla had woken up only to find Mommy is not around. It was already 12pm, I scooped her up and then brought her to the guest room to iron our clothes - we were going to a kenduri kahwin in Bukit Damansara.

After that, I had to leave Khayla by herself while I took a quick shower. She was in full tantrum mode by the time I was done, and yet I could not pick her up because I had to: 1) put on my clothes, 2) re-heat her porridge, 3) prepare a bottle of formula milk for the journey, 4) store the warm porridge in a container for the journey 5) pack her bag, 6) put on some makeup and my headscarf, 7) put everything in a carrier bag ready for the trip. After all was done, then only I picked up my crying little girl and changed her into a matching outfit ;)

Then we went down to the car, but once I had settled Khayla in her car seat, I couldn't find the GPS holder - then I remembered it was on the fridge (dammit!). So I made a quick dash (it was drizzling some more!) back to home (with Khayla) to fetch the GPS holder, and also to fetch her dummy. After she was settled down for the second time in her seat, I noticed that one of her sandals is missing. So it was a third trip to trace the sandal (without Khayla this time). By the time I went back to the car, my little girl was crying - again.

All set and done, we drove off to our first destination - the petrol station to fill up on fuel. Then, to the gift shop to get a wedding gift. After all that needed to be done was completed, then we set off.

It was lucky that I simulated the journey before we went for the trip because most of the journey, the GPS was not working. It is the stupidest GPS navigator I've ever invested in (it's called Papago, installed on iPhone 4). So I had to rely on my memory to reach the destination, based on the journey simulation.

We reached there at almost 2pm, Khayla had fallen asleep in the car after a bottle of milk and a nibble on a biscuit (she dozed off while holding the biscuit - such a dear sight). Getting out of the car while holding the baby, a bag and the gift was a chore - luckily I got a parking close to the entrance.

Khayla was hungry when she woke up and she ate a good deal of her porridge. After the wedding, she was in a better mood and she fell asleep again during the journey back. We decided to stop by at a bakery to order her first birthday cake this coming 15th. Gosh, I get teary-eyed whenever I think of my little baby who is growing up into a little girl. I wished we could spend a lot more time because I never get tired of my little baby.

We reached home at almost 4pm. By that time, I was tired and my hands were aching. After settling down a bit, we both took an afternoon nap - such a wonderful nap it was!

Never will I venture out of the house with only the two of us - it's too tiring! So, how's your weekend, my friends? :)

Parenting dilemma

Dear Internet,

Today I scolded my 10-month old baby. She was playing near the TV and tried to pull out the Astro card. I called her name several times but she was preoccupied in the way a 10-month old usually is. In the end, I said loudly and in a sharp tone, 'HEPP!!'

Khayla was startled. A moment later, she started to wail in fear - she has recognised when Mommy gets angry Mommy's voice will be scary and loud. It's so disheartening to see my little baby has started to fear me. It took her Daddy to pujuk and calm her down.

This was not the first time I showed anger to her. Yesterday when she refused to eat her meal and threw her spoon down, I scolded her. I pretended to hit her food tray, setting her in tears. I put Khayla on the floor and when she crawled to me, I refused to pick her up. She sobbed and then reached out to my hand - as if begging me to forgive her and also make everything fine again for her. I let her cry for half a minute before I took her tiny hand in mine. When I think about the way I punished my baby for being exactly who she is - a baby, I feel terrible and awful.

Not enough with that, I threatened her emotionally by saying bye-bye when she refused to listen to me calling her name. She knows bye-bye means I'm going away, which she hates. So she immediately looked up to me to make sure I wasn't. I knew then even when it seems harmless to trick her, it means for a second her heart was stricken at the thought of Mommy leaving her like Mommy always does in the morning on weekdays.

Dear Khayla,

Mommy wants you to know how deeply sorry I am for being a terrible mother who instead of showing you the right behaviour, punishes you through scoldings and emotional conflicts. I'm sorry baby. You're just a 10-month old baby who is still discovering your surrounding and has little understanding of the concept of rights and wrongs. All you understand is how much Mommy and Daddy love you and anything that contradicts with that knowledge of yours are surely frightening to you.

I love you to bits, my daughter.

Full of regrets Mom,
Me

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Hari Saya (oleh Khayla)

Pagi tadi saya bangun awal. Saya toleh kanan. Bapak masih tidur. Saya toleh kiri, Mak pon tidur lagi. Tapi saya rasa nak kacau Mak jugak. Lalu saya buat bising di telinga Mak dan tarik rambut sampai beliau bangun dan kata, 'Kenapa Khayla tarik rambut Mak?'

Sebaik saja Mak tengok saya senyum beliau tak jadi marah. Tapi akibatnya saya akan dicium dan digomol sampai saya jerit marah. Mak suka cium pipi saya. Saya rasa perbuatan mak keterlaluan.

Mak bangun dan mandi, jadi saya kacau bapak pulak. Bila Mak dah selesai mandi, Mak mandikan saya pulak. Saya suka mandi dengan Mak sebab Mak bagi saya main dengan itik getah. Mak nyanyi2 sambil mandikan saya. Bapak biasanya nak cepat jadi saya tak boleh main bila mandi.

Hari ni Bapak bagi saya sarapan. Seperti biasa, makan bubur. Kenapa mak dan Bapak tak faham, saya ni dah besar dan tak suka makan bubur? Bubur untuk bayi je. Saya dah 8 bulan, bukan bayi lagi kan?

Jadi saya cuma makan separuh dan lepas tu saya tak pedulikan Bapak lagi. Lepas makan, Mak bermain dengan saya dan kemudian kami tengok tv sama2. Sekarang saya faham kenapa Mak suka pandang kotak bergambar tu. Ada lagu2 menarik dan kartun2 best!

Bila penat, saya baring2 dengan Mak sambil menyusu. Saya suka minum susu Mak sebab lepas tu saya rasa ngantuk lalu tidur.

Bila terjaga, saya tengok Mak dan Bapak sibuk mengemas bilik tidur. Saya tumpang menyibuk je. Oh, rupanya Mak nak alih almari dan katil. Mungkin sebab Mak jatuh kerusi pagi tadi masa tengah cari baju dalam almari. Mak jerit aduh sambil pegang punggung. Siapa suruh Mak tak berhati2?

Hasil kecoh2 Mak dan Bapak bilik tidur kami kelihatan seperti ni:

Bagi saya itu semua tak penting tapi saya tertarik dengan lampu tepi katil. Ia ada potensi untuk dipanjat saya. Tapi Bapak asyik sekat saya dari lampu tu. Bapak memang begitu. Spoilsport.

Petang. Bapak dan mak bawak saya jalan2. Ooo... Saya suka! Mak letak saya di dalam buaian bayi. Suka suka! Suka sampai ketawa mengekek2 bila Mak hayun buaian tinggi2:

Walaupun saya seorang je yang main buai, tapi Mak dan Bapak yang ketawa lebih. Mereka tu memang over. Sila maafkan perangai mereka ya.

Belum puas main buai, bapak dah keluarkan saya sambil kata saya masih bayi dan masih kecil sangat. Lepas tu mereka masukkan saya dalam kereta sorong saya dan berjalan2. Sambil2 tu, mak suapkan bubur nasi ke mulut saya. Saya yang terkagum2 melihat alam sekitar sampai lupa yang saya benci bubur. So ngap dengan berselera.

Kami tiba di kawasan lapang dan Mak bentang tikar. Saya terus mengamuk sebab saya nak jalan2 lagi! Saya taknak makan! Lalu saya mogok dan muntahkan makanan jugak!

Muka mogok taknak makan

Dengan Bapak

Last2 Mak dan Bapak cepat2 berkemas dan saya masuk dalam kereta sorong semula. Yeay!

Mak sempat belikan aiskrim dan dengan baik hati beri saya makan kon. Saya teruja sebab saya dapat makan makanan baru. Yum yum! ~

Oleh sebab hari ni sangat memenatkan so saya nak tidur awal ye. Selamat malam!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Khayla yang 'Cranky'

Lately, si budak kecik ni asyik moody memanjang. Dalam erti kata lain, dia cranky.

Friday, July 08, 2011

Love

I love watching my baby sleeps. Her arms spread apart. Her face as always so serious, yet so adorable...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

How to Eat A Watermelon - Khayla's Style

On one hot day, my kay-poh little girl wanted to have a taste of watermelon after watching Mommy & Daddy devoured the cool, watery and yummy red-coloured fruit:

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: No Words, Just Laughter

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Knock knock! Who's there?

...Special delivery :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Khayla and her new toy

Khayla, even though she's just 3 months old, loves to sit. She likes to think that she's 3 years old instead of 3 months old.

But Mommy has to do housework and can't always let Khayla sit in her lap 0_O What a girl gotta do without her Mommy's lap?

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Kenapa? Kenapa? KENAPA?

Kenapa mesti photo-hosting untuk background template blog saya dah expired? Sungguh tidak berperikemanusiaan. Natijahnya, saya terpaksa meminjam layout Blogger. Pink gittew. Sumpah bukan diri saya sebenar.

Neways. Hari yang sungguh padat. Mengusung si Khayla ke hulu dan hilir menghadiri kenduri kawen member-member. Life as young parents. Membawa budak kecik seperti berpindah rumah. Tak sah selagi kereta tak dipenuhi barang-barang Khayla. Sesampainya di rumah member #1 di Bangsar. Tergedix menolak strolly (nama timangan manja stroller diberi oleh Suami Terchenta) ke majlis perkahwinan. Sudahnya berhempas-pulas fikir bagaimana nak muatkan stroller di celah-celah meja makan.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Best Friends For Life :)

Outing with Khayla

Ello I'm back!

Terima kasih Blogspot sbb tak terminate blog saya. Encik Nuffnang, TQ masih lagi tayangkan iklan di sini. Kawan-kawan blogger (erk, ada lagi ke? Hehehehe), TQ sbb masih lalu-lalang. Pasti adalah sangat bosan memberi salam tapi tuan punya takde.

Masalah ni adalah disebabkan Khayla. Ya, semua salah Khayla! (ececey, mak apakah ini, salahkan bayi berumur 2 bulan?) OMG, Khayla sudah 2 bulan. Pejam celik berkali-kali, anak kecil saya dah pandai senyum, pandai angkat kepala tinggi2 dan sudah ghairah berceloteh! Always selepas mandi ada je bunyi menceceh keluar dari mulut Khayla. Tapi kalau sebelum mandi tak diberi susu, siap lah. Yang keluar bukan bunyi yang comel mencair hati, tapi bunyi Khayla terpekik2 mintak susu.

Hari ni Khayla ada appointment dengan paediatrician pukul 11.30pg di hospital tempat kelahirannya. Sungguhpun tau dia akan jumpa doktor, kami anak beranak bangun lambat. Sudah la bangun lambat, lagi bermalas-malasan dan bermanja-manjaan bersama-sama! Pagi-pagi harus bergomolan dengan Khayla dan memberi si budak kecik susu ibu. Susu ibu adalah terbaik ye kawan-kawan :D

Lepas minum susu dan bermain, si budak kecik mandi dalam besen mandinya. Khayla dah cukup besar, so boleh baring atas papan supaya dia tak tergelincir. And she loves it! Dia suka sesi mandi sambil Mak bercerita dengannya tentang duck yang berenang2 dalam air mandinya, dan kenapa syampu berbau wangi... Kerana Khayla suka dengar suara Mak yang sungguh merdu di telinganya :P Bila saya angkat Khayla dari besen mandi, dia mula lah merengek2 dan mencebik2 muka. Sungguh comel kamu ya Khayla. Kecik2 dah tau konsep berendam!

Next, sesi urutan badan dan pakai baju. Bila sesi urutan badan, Khayla pulak yang bercerita dengan Mak nya. Entah apa lah Khayla membebel, Mak nya iyakan aje. Khayla dah pandai membuat pelbagai bunyian yang sumpah, melting my heart! Oleh sebab doktor akan periksa badan Khayla hari ni, maka haruslah beliau memakai rompers supaya senang dibuka dan dipasang semula :) Rompers Khayla ada gajah berwarna pepel. Warna faveret Mak. Hehe.

Lepas mandi dan pakai baju, Khayla menyusu sekali lagi sambil mak tengok tv. Bila dia dah tido, saya macam lipas kudung bancuh Nestum dan panaskan dalam microwave (jadi ibu mesti belajar cepat dan mudah!) dan mandi. Lepas tu, siapkan beg diaper Khayla - diaper secukupnya, baju ekstra, baby wipe dengan diaper cream, teddy bear kesayangan Khayla, pacifier, tuala kecil dan sebotol susu untuk bekalan di dalam kereta ;)

Bila semuanya dah setel, saya masukkan Khayla dalam sling macam anak kangaroo. Then off kami ke hospital. Sampai lewat, nasib baik tak ramai patient hari ni.

Paediatrician Khayla bernama Dr Anna. Perkara pertama bila pandang Khayla - 'Wow! She gains weight wonderfully!' Hehehe. Saya bagitau Khayla suka minum susu ibu. Ibu paksa dia minum sampai pipi dia tembam. Muahaha! Dr Anna tanya macam2 benda - berapa kali sehari dia minum, berapa minit, berapa kali buang air besar, berak macamana, dan ruam dah hilang atau belum.

Lepas tanya pelbagai soalan sampai Khayla bosan dan mula menggeliat2 macam ulat beluncas dalam tangan saya, Dr Anna suruh saya baringkan Khayla untuk pemeriksaan fizikal. Khayla sihat walafiat, Alhamdulillah. Takde ruam susu atau ruam lampin, jantung ok, pergerakan ok, brain development pun adalah memberangsangkan. Well done, baby!

Next, part yang saya tidak suka. Masa untuk beri ubat Rotavirus (muka Khayla berkerut2 bila disuapkan ubat, sah adalah anak Mak yang tak suka ubat!), dan 2 suntikan imunisasi di paha kanan dan kiri. Khayla hisap pacifier dan pandang doktor dan nurse dengan dahi berkerut2 sebab dieorang pegang kaki Khayla sampai dia tak boleh tendang2. Suntikan pertama, Khayla merengek sekejap lepas tu sambung hisap pacifier. Suntikan kedua, Khayla meraung sekuat-kuat hati! My poor baby!

Tapi saya tau macamana nak tenangkan anakku yang menangis meraung2 sambil tendang2 kaki. Bagi saja susu gantung, dia akan senyap dan tertido. Khayla tak complicated macam mak nya. Khayla ikut macam bapak, very easy dan very lovable! :)

Lepas breastfeed Khayla, kami turun dan ambil ubat di farmasi. Then perut yang berkeroncong menghasut saya untuk duduk di Coffee Bean untuk makan tengahari. Makan tengahari dengan anak dalam sling yang sedang tido adalah mencabar iman, tapi saya perlu membiasakan diri jadi wanita supersonic, eh, super-boleh. Jadi ibu umpama orang bercinta - makan tak kenyang, tido tak lena dan mandi tak basah! Semua perlu usai secepat2 boleh sebelum Khayla terbangun dari tido dan mula merengek2 mintak melekat pada Mak.

Keluar dari hospital lepas lunch. Pukul 2pm. Mula2 nak terus balik ke rumah, tapi teringatkan botol susu untuk simpan bekalan susu dah habis. Perlu membeli botol tambahan, so melakukan lencongan ke My Baby World di Sri Gombak. Membeli botol cap Autumz - 10 botol hanya RM38+, bukan ke cukup murah? Sangat teruja, dan mula go into shopaholic mode. Membeli set beg untuk simpan susu dan pam susu, lengkap dengan ice pack dan 3 botol tambahan *wink*

Lepas bayar barangan, Khayla terbangun dan mula merengek2 mintak susu. Owner kedai berbaik hati menghantar barangan ke kereta, dan lepas tu ibu dan anak duduk dalam kereta sambil menunggu si anak menyusu dari badan. Bekalan susu dalam botol dah lama habis. Khayla minum sampai tertido, barulah saya letakkan dia dalam car seat.

Dan akhirnya Khayla seperti gambar di atas. Tertido keletihan selepas outing with Mommy berjumpa doktor dan membeli botol susu. Badan Khayla pun panas sedikit, hopefully demam tak teruk sangat. Hopefully esok Khayla akan bangun dengan ceria. I love you, Khayla!

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Khayla's first conversation with her furry friend...

These photos were taken by my mother (Khayla's Grandma) this morning :p

Here Comes Baby Khayla... (Part 1)

If there is one thing to be marvelled about my pregnancy this time is that how good we were at keeping it a secret. We spent the first trimester acting like two guilty teens trying to hide our pregnancy from everyone including family members. The second trimester, trying to ward off 'Are you pregnant??' questions in Facebook ('Pregnant? Who? Me?'). The third trimester, well. No point in hiding it anyway.

Some friends were offended that such news were not shared in our blogs - other people joyously announced about their pregnancy the moment the second line on the pregnancy test appeared either through tweet or Facebook update or a one-liner in their blog - Yeaay! I'm pregnant!' Then the weeks after that, they proudly showed the ultrasound scans of their fetus and/or moan about not being able to stomach any food due to morning sickness.

But not us. Not a single test kit, nor a vomit story came forth (and there were plenty of vomits, I tell you). After our first pregnancy, we could not help being superstitious and totally left it out of our blogs until we entered the last few weeks of the pregnancy. By that time of course our blogs were like two abandoned houses and nobody bothered to visit any more.

To make it up to our friends who used to read this blog anyway, let me tell the story of the birth of the most awaited baby of the year - Baby Khayla.

There were a few things that I wanted to do before the baby pops out, unfortunately we were not able to spare the time nor the resource to do it:

1. Climb Mount Kinabalu - for obvious reason kan? How do you expect a huge human incubator to fly to KK, let alone reach the foot of the mountain?

2. Go backpacking to UK - OK, I should've planned this 3 years ago. Scrap it.

3. Spend a night unwinding at a luxurious hotel - remember that house project that ate whatever reserve fund we have for fun?

4. Go on endless dates with the hubby - Knowing that going on a date with hubby only the two of us after this point will be near impossible, I set my heart on trying to make this happen. BUT. This simple and harmless act was usually thwart by the lack of appropriate clothes to go out. By appropriate, I mean, I run out of clothes that still fit me and the rest are just my work clothes. Takkan nak pergi dating pakai baju ofis kan?

Therefore, lessons learnt are never put off any ambitions and never wait until the last trimester to do stuffs that you want to do.

Before Khayla was born, I was convinced that I would have a normal delivery. My mother had normal vaginal births, so I would have one too, no? Being typical me, I spent hours poring over pregnancy books to prepare myself for normal labour. Heck, I even spent hours reading about making babies weeks away from my wedding date to prepare myself for the scary night - but that is totally irrelevant here. According to the pregnancy books I read, some of these tactics help to reduce labour pain / time:

1. Walk up and down the stairs - I only did this maybe 3 times. It took me 10 minutes to reach our house at 3rd floor, and by the time I reached home, I collapsed on the bed, panting with exhaustion.

2. 15-minute brisk walk in the evening - Hah. I am proud to say that I have done this ONCE. That is, together with Idayu. The only thing that made it our hour-long walk bearable (because after 5 minutes, I started to get back ache) was because we also checked out the guys jogging at the park. Idayu went, 'OMG, look at that delicious guy!' and I nodded my head and went, 'Uhuh! Totally!' Khayla, sila jangan ikut perangai mak.

3. Make love to hubby as part of the labour exercise - THIS I follow diligently.

Turns out that whatever preparations I made were pointless because by Week 36, my doctor was positive that I will not be granted my hope of delivering my baby the normal way due to placenta previa. Huh. So much for stair-climbing and waddling across KLCC park and knocking back a glass of cold chocolate drink afterwards.

She was also positive that she may not be around towards my due date and by the way, which date do I prefer? 15th or 17th? It took us a day to deliberate on the perfect date which consists of - 'But 15th is our wedding anniversary! It's only appropriate that she is our wedding anniversary gift this year...'

So 15th December 2010 it is.

The only problem with knowing the delivery date is trying to cramp everything in the in-between period. We were told that the baby will be delivered via C-section in Week 36 and the operation will take place in Week 37, so I had only 2 days to finish work before going on maternity leave. 2 days. 2 FREAKING days.

There I was, racing against time to finish my job in order to deliver on the chosen date (and impatiently telling people over the phone, 'What? Don't bother me now, I have plenty of things to do before I start my maternity leave in about 2 days' time!') Unlike other people who takes birthing process seriously and does the necessary preparation (a.k.a. get early leave to get into birthing mode and de-stress...), I went full-speed ahead with work to finish my job. I did not leave office until it was almost 9pm. I don't know why - for someone who wishes to flunk job and get VSS offer (seriously), I couldn't leave my job unfinished. Full of flaws - yes. Unfinished / half-completed, no-no. You see, that is why I hate my job so much - there's too much work, nak beranak pun tak senang.

(To be continued...)

3 Days Before the birth of Khayla

Note: I wrote this entry days before Khayla was born but did not get around to post it. It felt ages ago that I was being melancholic about leaving the world of just 'Mr & Mrs Junaidix' now that we have another extension of 'Junaidix Jr.' (or Little Carneyz).

... before we welcome our little but biggest project into the world.
*Sniff*

Bye-bye couplehood. Hello, parenthood.

I know this may sound weird considering that we are over the moon about this pregnancy, but I know I shall miss the world of two-some.

No more before sleep cuddles.
No more on the spur of the moment dates.
No more fancy-schmancy trips.

BUT.

I know that there is no way we will trade this chance with all that. Hell, no. Even though we will most probably have to deal with these:

Midnight cries for milk.
And a change of dirty diaper.
Colic. Milk. Dirty diaper. More milk.

I believe that the waiting period has been a blessing in disguise, in a way. It allows us to become closer, to become strong for each other, to basically strengthen our marriage. I know we are both ready for the next stage of our married life (I hope so!) and the timing could not be more perfect.

Thank You, God. Alhamdulillah. I pray that the journey from here will be more beautiful and joyous, and the birth of our little one will be a smooth process. I pray that the little one will be another bond to tie our hearts together even more, and perhaps some day we will be blessed with more little ones.

*Deep breath*

I'm ready baby.

2010 - Better Than Ever

Status sekarang: Melayan budak kecik bermain di dalam perut.

Intro: Sila rujuk header blog.
Sudah lama blog tak berupdate. Sampai En Nuffnang dah tak sudi bagi iklan lagi. Dan Msjbox tinggal kotak monolog. Kesian kan. Sendiri pun tak menyokong penat lelah En Suami Terchenta. Mengikut subjek Marketing kami, Msjbox kini sedang mengalami 'Decline Stage'. Sila baca topik Life Product Cycle ye kawan-kawan. Kwang3x! Enough dengan subjek study. Masa untuk coffee break. Bercerita tentang life kini. Life as a working and studying mom-to-be.

Tergezut?

Yeah. Sekali lagi, sila rujuk header blog. 2010 - Better than ever. Tahun ini, kami membuat beberapa perubahan drastik dalam life. First of all, akhirnya mendaftarkan diri-sendiri mengikuti program Master. FINALLY! Kamu tau berapa lama kami pasang niat ni? Dah 6 tahun. Nasib baik tak buat pekasam.

Secondly, saya tukar position. Ini bukan sesuatu yang better, tapi worse sebenarnya. Ikutkan hati, saya mau quit. Resigned. Cari keja lain. Tapi, not the right time kan. Sekurangnya-kurangnya masih memerlukan gaji untuk menampung study. Therefore, sabar aje lah *buat ke-sejuta kali, sabaarrrrrr....*

Thirdly, ini ialah official announcement. Tahun ini juga, kami sangat produktif. Dalam keterujaan nak sambung study, tup-tup dapat tau. Akhirnya, En Suami akan bergelar seorang ayah. At first, rasa nak baling test kit dalam mangkuk toilet dan flush. Bukan sebab tak suka, tapi sebab tak percaya. Tapi, percubaan kali kedua dengan test kit yang lebih mahal akhirnya meng 'convince' kan kami untuk berjumpa doktor dan 'confirm'. Syukur alhamdulillah, rezeki itu datang jugak. Tak payah buat treatment. Tak payah gi jumpa specialist. Ini dinamakan kuasa Tuhan.

Itu ialah cerita 7 bulan lepas. Saya dah melalui tahap muntah-mabuk-loya (tak mau dikenang lagi azab waktu itu), sekarang melalui tahap 'anakku-sibuk-menendang-di-tengah-tengah-malam-dia tak-nak-tido-ke?'. Kadang-kadang saya jadi keletihan sebab malam tak dapat tido dengan lena. Siang pulak, bekerja dalam keadaan stress. Dan balik dari kerja, kena buat assignment atau pergi ke kelas. Well. This is my choice. Saya boleh aje drop atau tangguh niat sambung study dulu, tapi saya nak try jugak. Sebab, kerja bertangguh selalu tak menjadi. Kan baby, kan?

Thank God, En Suami ialah suami yang mithali. Dari awal-awal lagi, sangat prihatin kesihatan kami berdua (eceh... mula la tu). Betul apa? Siapa yang tolong urut belakang dan pegang rambut semasa si isteri sibuk memuntahkan isi perut masa awal-awal dulu? En Suami. Siapa yang ambil alih tugas di rumah masa isteri kena bed rest sebab ada bleeding? En Suami jugak. Siapa yang tolong urut pinggang dan kaki masa isteri tengah dalam keadaan mabuk, letih, sakit-sakit badan? Of course En Suami. Adil la tu kan. En Suami jaga saya, saya jaga baby dalam kandungan. Esok lusa, turn baby pulak jaga kami ok?

Sekarang, budak kecik dah pandai berinteraksi. Malam-malam ialah bila kami bermain-main dengan budak kecik. Mula-mula si emak akan usap-usap perut sambil borak-borak dengan baby. Biasanya baby akan mula gerak dan tendang dari dalam. Time si ayah pulak, baby agak shy-shy. Amazing sebab dia tau bezakan tangan siapa yang sedang mengusap perut. Masa mula-mula dulu kalau En Suami yang pegang, dia akan diam. Tapi sejak En Suami dah selalu bercakap-cakap dengan baby, dia dah tak berapa shy-shy lagi. Kadang-kadang dia suka bermain-main dengan En Suami. Permainan yang biasa kami main ialah dia akan diam kalau kami letak tangan di perut, tapi akan menendang bila tangan dialihkan (Haha, can't catch me!). So comel baby.

OK la. Dah dekat pukul 1 pagi. Baby pun dah semakin senyap (penat ke baby?). Time for me to sleep. I love you baby. Muah!

Kepada kawan-kawan, diharap boleh doakan supaya hasrat kami untuk menimang cahayamata akhirnya akan termakbul dan semoga semuanya dipermudahkan untuk saya. after all, it's not easy juggling 3 roles at the same time (tu tak termasuk role as a wife!). Dan saya harap-harap sangat kelahiran dia akan membawa seribu rahmat dalam kehidupan kami :)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Monday, December 12, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011