Morning activity is the same. Prepared porridge for my little girl (broccoli, carrot and blended anchovies), and while waiting for it to cook, bathed her. Khayla soon started to crawl after me and whine for food after her bath - so I gave her a plate of chopped banana which she contentedly ate and afterwards, played with while sitting in her baby chair. After she had had enough of banana, I scooped some porridge and we settled down in front of the idiot box watching Babytv while having a proper breakfast.
Hubby had to leave for a group discussion and there was just the two of us to continue with the day. After finishing her porridge, she nuzzled closer for a cuddle and a round of breastfeeding session. After she dozed off, I put her down and went to hand wash her clothes - then put them for a spin in the washing machine. By that time, Khayla had woken up only to find Mommy is not around. It was already 12pm, I scooped her up and then brought her to the guest room to iron our clothes - we were going to a kenduri kahwin in Bukit Damansara.
After that, I had to leave Khayla by herself while I took a quick shower. She was in full tantrum mode by the time I was done, and yet I could not pick her up because I had to: 1) put on my clothes, 2) re-heat her porridge, 3) prepare a bottle of formula milk for the journey, 4) store the warm porridge in a container for the journey 5) pack her bag, 6) put on some makeup and my headscarf, 7) put everything in a carrier bag ready for the trip. After all was done, then only I picked up my crying little girl and changed her into a matching outfit ;)
Then we went down to the car, but once I had settled Khayla in her car seat, I couldn't find the GPS holder - then I remembered it was on the fridge (dammit!). So I made a quick dash (it was drizzling some more!) back to home (with Khayla) to fetch the GPS holder, and also to fetch her dummy. After she was settled down for the second time in her seat, I noticed that one of her sandals is missing. So it was a third trip to trace the sandal (without Khayla this time). By the time I went back to the car, my little girl was crying - again.
All set and done, we drove off to our first destination - the petrol station to fill up on fuel. Then, to the gift shop to get a wedding gift. After all that needed to be done was completed, then we set off.
It was lucky that I simulated the journey before we went for the trip because most of the journey, the GPS was not working. It is the stupidest GPS navigator I've ever invested in (it's called Papago, installed on iPhone 4). So I had to rely on my memory to reach the destination, based on the journey simulation.
We reached there at almost 2pm, Khayla had fallen asleep in the car after a bottle of milk and a nibble on a biscuit (she dozed off while holding the biscuit - such a dear sight). Getting out of the car while holding the baby, a bag and the gift was a chore - luckily I got a parking close to the entrance.
Khayla was hungry when she woke up and she ate a good deal of her porridge. After the wedding, she was in a better mood and she fell asleep again during the journey back. We decided to stop by at a bakery to order her first birthday cake this coming 15th. Gosh, I get teary-eyed whenever I think of my little baby who is growing up into a little girl. I wished we could spend a lot more time because I never get tired of my little baby.
We reached home at almost 4pm. By that time, I was tired and my hands were aching. After settling down a bit, we both took an afternoon nap - such a wonderful nap it was!
Never will I venture out of the house with only the two of us - it's too tiring! So, how's your weekend, my friends? :)
If I'm in my easy-peasy Mommy mode, I simply can't thank BabyTV enough for keeping my precious occupied while I hurriedly feed her, or zoom around the house getting things done. But most of the time, I prefer that she crawls around, exploring and learning rather than become a tv addict. So, there. The story of my love-hate feeling with BabyTV.
Talking about Khayla, she has been feeling rather unwell for the past few days. It started when I had to travel overnight to KK. I thought it'd be fine - she had started on formula milk a couple of weeks now so no issue of milk supply like last time. In fact, when we were Skype-ing, Khayla did not even bother to look at me frantically waving and calling out her name. She was just busy with the remote control or the tv console (do you know that babies her age are busier than a CEO?).
But that night, Khayla was down with fever and the next day, she was lethargic and slept the whole day at the nursery (according to her Daddy of course). Apparently Khayla is still having problems to detach herself from Mommy. So there goes our long weekend plan. When Khayla is sick, she changes into this overbearing child - who can't be left alone, needs to be cuddled all the time, needs Mommy's breast all the time, and to put it frankly, she becomes a whiny and tearful baby when she's awake.
I love my baby very much nothing in this world will make me want to part from her, but when she's in this mode I wished that daycare is open during weekend so I can get some needed rest. Do you know how stressful is Mommy's occupation, cupcake? Can't you just give me a 5 minutes break?
By the way, if you are wondering how then I get to write down this whole entry, she's currently having a nap (praying it will be for a couple of hours, but she just coughs and whines and stays quiet so probably her Daddy is lying down beside her till she falls asleep again) and I'm a really fast typist, so there. Phew. Oh yes, I haven't had any breakfast because I was busy trying to catch a moment here and there to fix her breakfast, do laundry and fold clothes. Let alone do my assignment or revision for an upcoming quiz next weekend.
Take a deep breath and try to do one thing at a time. Brunch first. Then study (if Khayla is still asleep). Toodles!
I had been keeping this too long in the draft mode that I forgot about this entry. Time to get it out for memory's sake ;) World, cherish your family!
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I had had a good weekend these couple of weeks. A good weekend means quality time I spent with both Suami Terchenta and our precious little baby.
To me, no matter how crappy the week had felt like, I must put in efforts to make my little girl happy. Surprisingly it has been easy to put away any ill-feelings I harboured throughout the week and don my 'World's Fun-nest Mommy' mode.
Just seeing the joy and happiness in my baby's eyes made me forget about work and instead concentrated to live in the moment watching my baby grow in front of my very own eyes.
Last week for example we brought Khayla to Snowalk, i-City in Shah Alam for some fun family outing. Khayla being the cold weather fan baby, didn't complain being subjected to minus 0 degrees but it was obvious it was not her cuppa tea either. She hardly smiled, maybe because she found it impossible to reach out to the snow, being wrapped up in multiple layers of clothing:

She was nevertheless fascinated with the lights and I was pretty sure she would grab those lit-up ice carvings if she could free her hands from the thick jackets.
Before we went home, we stopped by Fruitty-tutty for some ice-cream treat. Khayla enjoyed herself in the shop because she got to sit on a grown-up chair:

It was probably the highlight of her trip, much better than the freezing Snowalk or the lights walk we took later.
This week, we didn't go anywhere but we brought her down to the swimming pool for some splashing fun. The last time she went into the pool was when she was 4 or 5 months old. I brought her toy duck and she loved chasing after the duck in the water.
Unfortunately Khayla outgrown her water instinct and she had learnt that water could be nasty. So when I tried to put her on her back so she could float, she wriggled and stiffened her body. She also tried to lift her head up because she hated water going into her ears. There goes her water baby nature...
Today, we brought her for brunch at PappaRich nearby our house. She enjoyed her bun and even shrieked along to Celine Dion belting out her evergreen songs. Khayla could be really boisterous too.
In the evening I brought her to play at the playground. To summarise, she loves the swing and hates everything else. We also brought her to visit Che Mat's family and she loved Kak CT's boys, and vice versa.
Truth is, I wished we could have a lot more weekends like what we had this week. C'est la vie people!
Today I scolded my 10-month old baby. She was playing near the TV and tried to pull out the Astro card. I called her name several times but she was preoccupied in the way a 10-month old usually is. In the end, I said loudly and in a sharp tone, 'HEPP!!'
Khayla was startled. A moment later, she started to wail in fear - she has recognised when Mommy gets angry Mommy's voice will be scary and loud. It's so disheartening to see my little baby has started to fear me. It took her Daddy to pujuk and calm her down.
This was not the first time I showed anger to her. Yesterday when she refused to eat her meal and threw her spoon down, I scolded her. I pretended to hit her food tray, setting her in tears. I put Khayla on the floor and when she crawled to me, I refused to pick her up. She sobbed and then reached out to my hand - as if begging me to forgive her and also make everything fine again for her. I let her cry for half a minute before I took her tiny hand in mine. When I think about the way I punished my baby for being exactly who she is - a baby, I feel terrible and awful.
Not enough with that, I threatened her emotionally by saying bye-bye when she refused to listen to me calling her name. She knows bye-bye means I'm going away, which she hates. So she immediately looked up to me to make sure I wasn't. I knew then even when it seems harmless to trick her, it means for a second her heart was stricken at the thought of Mommy leaving her like Mommy always does in the morning on weekdays.
Dear Khayla,
Mommy wants you to know how deeply sorry I am for being a terrible mother who instead of showing you the right behaviour, punishes you through scoldings and emotional conflicts. I'm sorry baby. You're just a 10-month old baby who is still discovering your surrounding and has little understanding of the concept of rights and wrongs. All you understand is how much Mommy and Daddy love you and anything that contradicts with that knowledge of yours are surely frightening to you.
I love you to bits, my daughter.
Full of regrets Mom,
Me
Shai dan Khayla |
Camtu la suasana di Kafe Sasana Kijang. Best sebab moden. Makanan pun murah. Terbelalak mata sebab spaghetti bolognese cuma RM5.50. Kat KLCC ada??? Jangan harap.
Anyway dah puas mengalas perut, kami pun beransur ke muzium di Tingkat 2. Muzium duit kekdahnya.
Shai tengah usha mesin interaktif tentang sistem pertukaran barter sebelum orang terfikir nak buat mata wang |
Dear Khayla,
Today you turned 10 months old. Altogether now - yeaayy!! For that, I bought you this walker as a changing month gift or more due to the fact that you are officially over with your baby-ish walker. You know, the one that you used to spend delightful hours zooming around the house before you can actually stand up on your own. Girl, you need to learn to show some gratitude, OK?
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All grin at the newly-bought toy |
My dearest daughter,
As you grow up, there are a few life lessons that I want you to remember - lesson #1: when you decide to descend from the bed to the floor, please go down LEGS first. That way you'll have less risk of knocking your head on the cold, tiled floor.
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Yes, hang on like that and then go down on your feet |
Lesson #2: I'm always with you even though you can't see me. I know you don't believe me. Every time I put you down so I can attend to chores you start to cry. It's not just 'I don't like to be on the floor' cry, it's 'where are you going? Why are you leaving me?? Are you abandoning me? Don't go, I'll miss you!!!' kinda cry. Your little body just froze on the spot but your cry goes an octave higher with each second that I'm leaving you. By the time I was ready to get you (a minute later), there's a puddle of tears, saliva and snot on the floor, and the front of your shirt was drenched wet with all of them. Of course, if I was gone for more than 2 minutes, you will then creep to wherever I was and then grabbed my pants and never let go. Sweetie, it may be endearing to see you so attached to me, but it gets frustrating when I have to do prepare meals or do laundry or maybe just to get your drink. Khayla, for a 10-month old baby, you are certainly a drama queen. A cute drama queen.
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See, Mommy always with you Khayla! |
Sick little baby |
Dear Khayla,
Last week you turned 9 months old. Happy 9 months, sweetheart! I can't believe that you have spent an equal time being outside and inside my womb. How time flies!
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Bath time is play time with ducky-duck |
If you could asked me a gift for being 9 months old, I'm pretty sure it's going to be a pair of walking feet and free access to the kitchen area. Feet you may have, but at this stage they still disappoint you. You can't use them to run after me or get to a toy faster than on your tummy. And your beloved walker is no longer your favourite transportation. Nuh-uh. They are only for babies. As far as you are concerned, you are very much a grown-up and can exercise every rights under the Malaysian Constitution.
So what you do right now is demand for a lift, either from Daddy or Mommy. We are now officially your legs to go around the house and inspect everything. In return, you flash us your loveliest smile that mostly works on us. Sigh.
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Giving us that 1000-watt smile of yours |
Because you couldn't walk yet, you are denied access to the kitchen. This frustrated you greatly because when Mom & Dad participated in this activity called cooking, we don't allow you to join in due to safety reason. You'd be on standby at the kitchen entrance in your walker, complaining loudly and sometimes throwing tantrums because you are not able to come into the kitchen.
To pacify you, we often gave you a spoon and a tin to drum on, which worked - for approximately 5 minutes and then you threw the spoon and then dropped the tin out of curiosity, and after that lost interest in them and back to badgering us to allow you into the kitchen.
My baby,
Earlier this month, you celebrated your first of the many more to come Hari Raya. I was more than excited about this. This is our chance to
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Only happy in Mommy's or Daddy's arms |
Instead of being happy from having been passed from one hand to another, you screwed up your face and leaked fountains. Clearly this nasty separation anxiety would not leave you even during this festive season. Remember that one night when Mom & Dad left you in the loving care of your grandparents? Two hours later, we received several anxious calls from your Grandpa asking when do we plan to go back as you were throwing tantrums and crying till you vomited. Reason? You wanted us and we were missing.
That night, your aunt Udak Intan had to race us back to Grandpa's house coz you wouldn't stop crying for an hour. The moment you saw us arriving, you kicked your legs in relief and almost fell off from Daddy's brother's arms because you missed us THAT much.
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Loving your play time |
This month also, you delighted me tremendously coz you finally, FINALLY, can call me 'Mak'. You would babble and rant 'Bapak' at any time of the day even when you don't want Daddy, but when it's milk time you turned to me and called 'Mak'. It certainly made my day each time you correctly called me 'Mak'. Muah!
Growth-wise, everyone told me that you looked tall for your age. When it comes to height, you took after Daddy. People always thought you're one year old already. And the same people always get surprised when I said you are still exclusively breastfed. Eh, breastmilk also can give equal if not better nutrition than formula. So way to go, Khayla!
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Playing swing like an older child |
Last but not least, I'd like to thank you for being the best and sweetest baby in the world. You certainly showed maturity and understanding beyond your age especially when sometimes both Mommy & Daddy are not around because either one of us has to go to class now that our classes have resumed. One day when we graduate, we'll dedicate our success to you, my loveliest child.
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Posing in your first baju kurung |
Love,
Mommy
Sebaik saja Mak tengok saya senyum beliau tak jadi marah. Tapi akibatnya saya akan dicium dan digomol sampai saya jerit marah. Mak suka cium pipi saya. Saya rasa perbuatan mak keterlaluan.
Mak bangun dan mandi, jadi saya kacau bapak pulak. Bila Mak dah selesai mandi, Mak mandikan saya pulak. Saya suka mandi dengan Mak sebab Mak bagi saya main dengan itik getah. Mak nyanyi2 sambil mandikan saya. Bapak biasanya nak cepat jadi saya tak boleh main bila mandi.
Hari ni Bapak bagi saya sarapan. Seperti biasa, makan bubur. Kenapa mak dan Bapak tak faham, saya ni dah besar dan tak suka makan bubur? Bubur untuk bayi je. Saya dah 8 bulan, bukan bayi lagi kan?
Jadi saya cuma makan separuh dan lepas tu saya tak pedulikan Bapak lagi. Lepas makan, Mak bermain dengan saya dan kemudian kami tengok tv sama2. Sekarang saya faham kenapa Mak suka pandang kotak bergambar tu. Ada lagu2 menarik dan kartun2 best!
Bila penat, saya baring2 dengan Mak sambil menyusu. Saya suka minum susu Mak sebab lepas tu saya rasa ngantuk lalu tidur.
Bila terjaga, saya tengok Mak dan Bapak sibuk mengemas bilik tidur. Saya tumpang menyibuk je. Oh, rupanya Mak nak alih almari dan katil. Mungkin sebab Mak jatuh kerusi pagi tadi masa tengah cari baju dalam almari. Mak jerit aduh sambil pegang punggung. Siapa suruh Mak tak berhati2?
Hasil kecoh2 Mak dan Bapak bilik tidur kami kelihatan seperti ni:

Bagi saya itu semua tak penting tapi saya tertarik dengan lampu tepi katil. Ia ada potensi untuk dipanjat saya. Tapi Bapak asyik sekat saya dari lampu tu. Bapak memang begitu. Spoilsport.
Petang. Bapak dan mak bawak saya jalan2. Ooo... Saya suka! Mak letak saya di dalam buaian bayi. Suka suka! Suka sampai ketawa mengekek2 bila Mak hayun buaian tinggi2:

Walaupun saya seorang je yang main buai, tapi Mak dan Bapak yang ketawa lebih. Mereka tu memang over. Sila maafkan perangai mereka ya.

Belum puas main buai, bapak dah keluarkan saya sambil kata saya masih bayi dan masih kecil sangat. Lepas tu mereka masukkan saya dalam kereta sorong saya dan berjalan2. Sambil2 tu, mak suapkan bubur nasi ke mulut saya. Saya yang terkagum2 melihat alam sekitar sampai lupa yang saya benci bubur. So ngap dengan berselera.
Kami tiba di kawasan lapang dan Mak bentang tikar. Saya terus mengamuk sebab saya nak jalan2 lagi! Saya taknak makan! Lalu saya mogok dan muntahkan makanan jugak!

Muka mogok taknak makan

Dengan Bapak
Last2 Mak dan Bapak cepat2 berkemas dan saya masuk dalam kereta sorong semula. Yeay!
Mak sempat belikan aiskrim dan dengan baik hati beri saya makan kon. Saya teruja sebab saya dapat makan makanan baru. Yum yum! ~
Oleh sebab hari ni sangat memenatkan so saya nak tidur awal ye. Selamat malam!

Jeng, jeng, jeng! Sila berkenalan dengan Puan Taiyohoshi, haittt! Konichiwa! Pengering pakaian versi low cost! |
Maka dengan berbekalkan sekeping kad ajaib (kad kredit), kami pon membawa pulang sebijik pengering pakaian ni.
- Lepas basuh pakaian bayi (basuh tangan ye!) dan spin dry, gantung la di dalam pengering ni.
- Tutup zip dan set timer:
- Selepas 3 jam kemudian pakaian akan kering dan berbau segar. Yes!
In more or less 12 hours from now, you will turn 8 months old. That is equivalent to the time I gained 15kgs and a terrible mood to match. I was so looking forward to a trip to the delivery room because I got bored with my pregnancy.
Now let's discuss about a few things that happened in our lives over the past one month. Beginning with the appearance of two pearly white teeth that have made our lives so miserable and you leaking fountains of tears with their appearance.
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The white pearls that gave us so much misery... |
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Dear Khayla,
Happy 7 months old, baby! Oh God, she grows up too fast! How I wish you remain 6 months old for the next two years :p you are so much fun right now little one, that Mommy is reluctant to see you grow up :(
Sorry that this took me so long to post. I had been keeping this entry as draft for too long and now you turned seven months already! Sorry, sweetie-pie. Guess last month was pretty hectic for Mommy, what with crazy work schedule and even crazier study and assignment and stuffs. Phew! Plus, there were sad things that happened last month and Mommy felt really down about it. But, nevertheless I owe you this one, baby. So here goes, a late 'letter' to you:
Last month you turned six months old, baby. I'm so proud to say that you have been exclusively breastfed since day one. Now who says breastfed babies are skinny? They should take a look at you.
Lastly jom layan gambar di Pasir Putih Seafood Restaurant:
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Posing ngan Khayla berlatar belakangkan pemandangan air :) |
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Khayla dan mak yeng |
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Pan-Grilled Dory with Lobster Sauce |
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Mozzarella Baked Fish |
Hari ni, dengan semangat berkobar-kobar kiteorang bangun awal demi melaksanakan a few urgent tasks termasuklah membuat passport untuk si budak kecik. Maklumlah next week mak dia akan outstation ke Pasir Gudang, so dah alang-alang turun ke JB tu teringin la nak bawak Khayla dan nenek Khayla ke Universal Studio di Singapore.
Sebelum keluar rumah, haruslah beri si budak kecik makan bubur dan lepas tu makan ubat memandangkan dia demam. Part makan bubur, dia beriya-iya. Part makan ubat, ye memang sah dia anak aku! :p Kalau dia dapat lari, kompem dah lama dia lari dari bapaknya yang bagi ubat tu. Hehe.
Mula-mula singgah di UM beli buku teks mak dia. Exam dah dekat baru terhegeh-hegeh nak beli buku kan? Huhu... Nak buat camane, buku tu baru sampai minggu ni :( dah tiga kali pegi UM baru dapat membeli buku ni. Setel.
Next barulah kiteorang pegi ke Wangsa Maju untuk membuat passport Khayla. Mula-mula kena buat gambar passport dulu. Mujurlah dia dah boleh duduk tegak walaupun mak dia terpaksa pegang badan dia (Khayla belum pandai duduk sendiri). Oleh sebab dia demam, maka dia takde mood nak senyum. Aku dengan Suami Terchenta boleh tergelak tengok hasil sesi penggambaran dan muka Khayla tu macam nak marah orang! Takutlah mak, sayang! Hehe.
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Gambar passport pertama Khayla :) |
Adik yang tangkap gambar tu siap tolong isikan borang imigresen unuk kiteorang dan fotostat sijil lahir & IC ayah dia. FYI, kalau nk buat passport bayi kena bawak Mykid, sijil lahir dan dua keping gambar passport. Salah seorang parent kena sign borang tu dan also bawak satu salinan IC on A4 paper.
Gambar dah setel. Next kiteorang amik nombor giliran. Yang bagusnya imigresen ada kaunter khas untuk buat passport bayi dan warga emas. Cuma tadi tak tau la kat mana silapnya, aku asyik monitor nombor giliran tapi takde pulak nombor kami dipanggil dan tup-tup, dah nombor seterusnya appear di skrin. So agak lama gak la kami menunggu...
Si Khayla, as usual la akan dapat perhatian orang sebab pipi dia yang gebu tu kan. Tapi tu la, sebab dia demam so dia takde mood nak melayan orang. There's this family yang sangat teruja melayan Khayla sampai bergilir2 la abang dan akak tu amik gambar dengan Khayla yang buat muka derq je tu. Hahaha! Khayla, Khayla... Bila dah besar sikit biar Mak ajar PR skill ye.
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Family ni teruja tengok pipi Khayla yang gebu, Khayla rilek je walaupun kesihatan tak begitu memberangsangkan |
So bila dah terlepas nombor giliran kami pun dengan gabranya ke kaunter. Nasib baik dieorang berbaik hati proses borang kami dulu. Pegawai yang proses borang Khayla tu terperasan yang alamat dalam sijil lahir Khayla ialah alamat rumah aku di Sarawak. Dia pun tanya, "Parents dua-dua orang Sarawak ke?" So kiteorang pun cakap yes, both dari sana.
"So you nak passport anak you ada huruf A (for Semenanjung) atau K (for Sarawak)? Sebab ni first time nak buat kan? Kalau nak huruf K tu, kena hantar borang ni next Monday dan kita kena hantar ke Imigresen Sarawak untuk pengesahan dieorang, selalunya amik masa 5 hari la." Dia explained. Aku tengok Suami Terchenta, dia tengok aku balik. Kiteorang berdua confused.
"Tapi dia ni lahir kat sini. Boleh ke dia dapat huruf K tu?" En Suami tanya. Pegawai tu terus panggil kawan dia dan story pasal kiteorang. Rupa-rupanya kawan dia tu orang Sarawak gak. Dia pun explain dalam loghat Melayu Sarawak, "Sebenarnya anak korang boleh dapat K tu sebab korang dua-dua orang sana kan, and bila ada huruf K tu, dia dapat la privilage kerakyatan sana. Better kalau buat passport dia tu, ada huruf K. Cuma kita tak boleh proses hari ni, amik masa sikit sebab nak kena disahkan oleh imigresen Sarawak."
Wah, nampaknya si Khayla tak leh la join kiteorang cuti2 Singapore. Tapi apapun, kiteorang happy gak la sebab kiteorang ingatkan bila lahir di sini, Khayla tak dapat keistimewaan sebagai rakyat tempatan di Sarawak. Rupa-rupanya sangkaan kiteorang ni meleset, which is good jugak la :)
I must warn you, this letter is going to be a bit lengthy. Why? Because somehow, between the age of 4 months to 5 months, you reached terrific milestones that both annoy and amuse me at the same time. Yes, you giggle. And shriek. And then you swim and do other feats that make me want to gobble you up and then spit you out and repeat it again and again and again. Before I knew it, you'd be moving out of the house and graduating with first class honours. Now I'm being melodramatic.
Baby girl, you are now 5 months old. How cool is that? When I thought you could not get any cuter, you proved me totally wrong. You ooze of cuteness that simply melt my heart :)
Let's start on your milestones one by one.
Then I tried Pureen manual pump:
Pureen Manual Breast Pump
Medela Mini Electric Plus
I convinced Hubby to invest in this pump because we want Khayla to have continuous supply of EBM once I started work (photo credit: amazon.co.uk)
Tommy Tippee closer to nature (R) Electric Breast Pump
Excuse me, it's time for my pumping session. To all breastfeeding moms out there, happy breastfeeding! ;)
It seems like two seconds ago I was writing to you on how you grew in front of my very own eyes from newborn to 3 months old. Was it me being oblivious to Time, or was it you growing up too fast? Baby, you turned 4months old already today! I wish there is a 'Back' button somewhere that I could click on and hey presto! you are back to being newborn again! (coz I never get tired of admiring you)

My 20-year old sister is leaving for Japan tomorrow to further her study. We are all feeling sad but trying not to show it. God knows what is going on in Mom's heart right now. Fear probably? After all, the news just reported another earthquake in Tokyo. Will she be in God's protection throughout her study period there? Insya Allah.